Set Your Alarm for Morning Sex

Set Your Alarm for Morning Sex 1

This post is also the topic of a podcast dialogue between El Fury and Sexy Corte: Podcast #017: Dialogue: Morning Sex

Finding time to have sex can be hard when you’ve got jobs and kids, and if you wait for the end of the day you may be frequently frustrated by a lack of energy and enthusiasm. Sexy Corte and I have found that the morning is often the most efficient and reliable time of day for us to have sex, but it does require some planning.

We’ve written before about the benefits of having sex before date night instead of after, and the same benefits apply to morning sex. Quote:

  • Oxytocin: Orgasms get your bonding hormones flowing, which will jump-start intimacy for your date.
  • No pressure: There won’t be any pressure to make sex the capstone of your date when you get home late. We find that it’s especially hard for Sexy Corte to summon up the energy for an orgasm late at night, no matter how great a time we’re having. Time of day has a big impact on many wives, and it doesn’t always line up with date night.
  • Lingering arousal: Date nights are a great opportunity to talk positively about your sex life together — what you like, what you want to try, how it feels when your spouse touches you just — like — that. If you have sex before your date, the lingering arousal can fuel your conversation. It’s hot to look at your spouse across the restaurant table and know that you just rocked their world!
  • Mementos: You can carry a memento of your recent sex with you on your date. For example: a secret hickey or lingerie. It’s a huge turn-on for me just knowing that my semen is still inside Sexy Corte when we go out. We’ve also talked about the idea of me finishing on her body and SC wearing it under her clothes, but we haven’t done it yet.

Your whole day will be better if you kick it off with sex! So how can you prepare for morning sex?

  • Be proactive. You probably won’t just tumble into reliable morning sex — you have to be intentional. Talk with your spouse about it, and decide how you’re going to communicate your interest (or lack thereof) in the morning when you’re both drowsy. Decide before you go to sleep if you’re likely to have sex the next morning or not.
  • Set an alarm. We actually set three alarms! First alarm is for if Sexy Corte wants an orgasm that morning; otherwise we cuddle. Second alarm is for if we’re going to have a quickie. Third alarm means that it’s actually time to get out of bed. (We may be classically conditioning ourselves to have sex when the alarm rings.)
  • Be prepared. Keep your tools ready: lube, vibrator (with batteries), rags, and whatever else you need. Having to find some missing essential can really break your momentum.
  • Sleep naked. As Sexy Corte wrote: “Not only does your skin feel amazing right up against your spouse’s, but feeling nice and silky sheets as you sleep is an added bonus. If your spouse is always wanting sex in the morning, but you have a hard time rousing yourself for it, sleeping naked is an excellent way to get yourself in the mood.” Wives should try some thigh-high socks in the winter to stay warm and sexy — as an added bonus, women have an easier time reaching orgasm when their feet are warm.

Do you have any tips for morning sex? Leave a comment to share.

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  1. I have been flat out told that morning sex is not happening anymore. We’ve been married for almost 30 years and we used to mess around in the morning, but for about the last 2-3 years if I try she may “let me” but it is a one way thing. And she lets me know later in the day that she didn’t get to sleep as long as she wanted because I woke her up! Real buzz kill. So I normally don’t even try.

    Only in my early 50’s, so morning desire is still a regular thing. It is just a shame that we can’t enjoy what we used too enjoy.

      1. I wouldn’t consider it ‘passive’ resistance when there is a touch of anger to the tone. And the few times she has allowed sexual activity, she doesn’t participate beyond holding my penis while I touch her and then quickly indicating that she wants me to enter and get it over with. Very “cold fish” type reaction. There is no interest on her part.

        Yes, I have talked with her (to a degree, she isn’t one to discuss sexual topics). I have tried to explain that T levels are up for guys in the morning and I long to be with her many mornings. To no avail. Part of the issue is I get up early for work and she is having trouble with good sleep patterns. So bedtime sex can be hit/miss due to her being up later than me. I have asked her to make a conscious effort to plan for bedtime earlier, but that hasn’t worked either. Her interest and drive has just fallen off the map. She says she wants to have more sex, but her actions don’t back those words up.

        1. I can see how that would be very frustrating. I encourage you to pray about it, for yourself and for your wife. Communication is really the only way forward. I know you’ve tried to talk with her and haven’t gotten the results you hope for, so think about how you can modify your approach. Find the right time to talk, when she’s in the right mood to listen. There’s no magic bullet, unfortunately. It might also be useful for her to talk to her doctor and see if there’s a physiological reason that her sex drive has declined.

  2. I feel your pain, Eric. What many men and even fewer women don’t realize is our testosterone level is at a peak in the morning. Worse, as we age, that peak level may be what used to be our base line level meaning later in the day our T-level is so low sexual response can be more challenging even if our arousal is apparent.

  3. The above comment also does not take into account our overall energy level flagging later at night which may cause other things to flag.

  4. One of your tips was to sleep naked. Fortunately, that is something my wife and I do on a very regular basis…..probably 95% of the time. Waking up and feeling her skin on mine really does motivate morning sex, and she feels the same way.

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