Gerad at the blog mission:husband has an insightful post for wives titled 11 Thoughts Out of Your Husband’s Head. Now, one of the best ways to improve your sex life is to improve your communication with your spouse so that there’s nothing you’re afraid to ask… but until you get to that point a list like this can be pretty helpful. You and your spouse might even consider writing lists for each other if it’s hard to say some things out loud (at first).
Here are a couple of points I’ll add to his list.
- We men like to leave our mark. That’s why we want you to swallow, and we shoot our seed deep inside you. Hours later, we like to hear that you’re sore, your muscles are tired and tingly, and our come is still leaking out. We like to hear that you’re still affected by our powerful lovemaking long after it’s over. This is the same motivation that drives men to conquer new lands and build skyscrapers.
- Enthusiasm is the key to doing almost anything well with us. Whether its sex or helping to fix the dishwasher, when we’re doing something together your enthusiasm is really important. Even though it wasn’t your idea, and it isn’t very exciting to pass us tools while we’re shoulder-deep under an appliance, your enthusiasm will be greatly appreciated. I’m going to write a post about enthusiasm during sex later.
And finally, a modification to his point 11:
11. Sometimes he wishes you’d just give him a hand-job – Yes, again, that’s what I said. Hey, I told you I’m being honest here. If you know it’s been a while since you’ve had sex, and you know he’s frustrated about it, but you still don’t feel like having sex (period, bad timing, etc), don’t ask, just roll over to his side of the bed, and offer him a hand-job. I’m telling you, it doesn’t matter if your mind is “into it”, or if your “emotionally ready”, or whatever other thing you might try to throw in there for a reason that you just don’t feel like giving him one.
Never really been a fan of hand-jobs… get down there and suck your husband off.
Good points. My wife and I read this one together (she asked me to bookmark it!), and here’s our thoughts…
Great points to “add to his list…” with this modification: “Hours later, we like to hear that — — — you’re still affected by our powerful lovemaking long after it’s over.” I’m sure all us guys want to hear generally that our wives are pleased in a lasting way with our lovemaking, but the details we want to hear expressed will differ.
Ditto to point #11 on preferring oral to a “handjob,” but there were some other good points to #11 you didn’t quote in the body of your article: [EMPHASIS ADDED]
“He NEEDS to be with you sexually. You can’t “go all the way” right now. But you CAN HELP HIM MAKE IT until you feel like it. It may be hard for you to believe, but you will be the biggest hero[ine] on earth to your husband if you take the 3 [5-10] minutes it takes, to help relieve the urge that is EVER-PRESENT ON HIS MIND UNTIL YOU DO. Oh, and he will be MUCH EASIER TO LIVE WITH for the next few days. I know it’s hard for you girls to believe that the whole world can be solved with a hand-job [ORAL IS BETTER!], but sometimes for your husband, it can.” [It can!]
Overall, his article is well worth looking at. Although a couple points didn’t register that high an importance for me, most were spot-on. Thanks for sharing!
Great comment, thank you!