Should I Tan My Balls?

Should I Tan My Balls? 1

Apparently ball-tanning is a thing now?

We’ve written about testicular hygiene and shaving, but the idea of tanning my balls is new to me. What’s the supposed benefit of ball-tanning?

One hypothesis is that red light helps mitochondria produce more ATP, and that this helps the Leydig cells in the testicles to produce more testosterone. Another hypothesis centers around vitamin D, which some studies have shown is low in men who also have low testosterone.

But there are problems with these ideas. To name one obvious one: vitamin D isn’t produced specifically in scrotal skin. You can increase yours by sunning any body part you choose, or simply by eating more food that contains vitamin D, such as fatty fish.

And when it comes to the effects of red light on mitochondria, this may be true—in skin cells. The testicles are internal organs, and light doesn’t penetrate skin by more than a few millimeters tops. There are light therapy treatments that work on the skin, but there’s not really a plausible way for your testes to increase their production of testosterone just because there’s light shining on the skin of the scrotum.

There probably isn’t medical benefit to sunning your balls, but it probably isn’t harmful either (as long as you avoid burns, of course) and might feel good.

The rest of the morning, my crotch felt warm. Alive. So I did it again. Glancing out my office window to make sure the lawnmower guy wasn’t tooling around in the grass, I pulled down my drawers and bathed myself in the heavenly, warm, tingly glow, this time for eight minutes.

That night, my wife and I made love. Admittedly, I felt – well – a unique heavenly, warm, tingly glow in my crotch. Nice.

Two days later, I waited until the evening, then wandered downstairs. I rubbed my hands together, took a deep breath, and flipped my JOOVV on. I called my mom to see how her day was going mom (she had no clue what was going on below the phone). Ten minutes. I read a blog post. Fifteen minutes. My crotch grew more and more warm, but in a pleasant, day-at-the-beach sort of way. I finished an email. Twenty minutes. Mission complete.

That night was date night, and I was a rock star.

So ball-tanning is probably no more silly than most other forms of home medicine! What do you think? How do you pamper your balls?

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3 comments

  1. Actually, tanning your balls probably can cause harm!
    Exposure to UV radiation (which causes tanning) is a major risk factor for skin cancer. Scrotal skin is very sensitive, and there’s some evidence to suggest that it’s more sensitive to UV than skin elsewhere on the body.

    This blog post conflates exposure to red light (which is probably pretty safe, although unlikely to have much benefit) with exposure to UV light (which causes tanning and can lead to skin cancer).

  2. There isn’t any medicinal purpose for my laying out nude other than just for my own personal enjoyment. If there is a benefit for me, it’s in finding time to relax while enjoying being outside. I don’t lay out long. Generally, it’s only for about an hour and usually just once a week on my day off when no one else is home or around.

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