“Short” and “cold” aren’t the sexiest adjectives, but February can still be steamy!
Commenters share their favorite dates Valentine’s Day dates with their husbands.
A series on wifely orgasms — an ever-important topic for sex bloggers, to be sure.
Valentine’s ideas: gifts for husbands, gifts for wives. Sexy Corte and I aren’t much for gift giving; not our love language I guess. For gifts, we mostly create opportunities to spend time together.
Don’t badmouth your spouse to your friends. It’s sad that this needs to be said, but it’s very valuable advice.
Sexual fantasy survey results.
Burn more calories while having sex. It’s win-win-win!
Be more adventurous in bed. Yes, the top 10 ways!
Thank you for the link El Fury. It will likely be a 7-or-more part series before I finish. I get them started and they’re done when they’re done. I have no control over them. :)
You should write an encyclopedia!
I should get paid for doing this is what I need to do. :)
I’d need to get a lot more hits before it would be worth the time to monetize this blog :)
I would like to know how I can be encouraging to my wife concerning oral sex
Hello, thanks for leaving a comment!
Check out this post about oral sex over at Love, Marriage, Sex. Maybe it will give you some ideas. Probably the best thing you can do is discuss oral sex with her and listen to her feelings and desires. Probably the worst thing you can do is pressure her or be passive aggressive :)
Are you wanting to give, receive or both, William?
For you or for her? By mutual agreement I do it for my husband and he does not for me, so with that background in mind hopefully I can offer some suggestions.
If you’re trying to get her to do it for you, then the things that make it most enjoyable for me are:
1) Being clean down there. I cannot express my appreciation enough that my husband showers daily and takes care to wash thoroughly. It doesn’t have to be right before our encounter, by any means.
2) Letting her look at your body. Seeing my husband naked is incredibly arousing and makes me want to do intimate things to him like oral. So even thought it’s not physically necessary to ‘get things done’, you could try pulling your shirt off too, etc. Touching and looking makes me desire him even more. Let her watch you get aroused. It continually amazes me how different the arousal of a man is from a woman, and I am fascinated, intrigued, and drawn to the visible evidence of his arousal. The reaction he gives just from me looking at him, then touching him, then going from there, all assures me that he enjoys what we are doing and wants me to continue it. Knowing that I can make him happy and feel good is one of the most wonderful things I know in life and makes me want to do it again…and again…
2) Expressing affirmation. His pleasure and reactions are different than mine, and it is a huge confidence booster when he tells me I am doing a good job, that it feels amazing, etc. And I love when I can catch the expression on his face when he orgasms.
3) Basic courtesy. Your wife is/would be breathing through her nose. Please do not pass gas. I also find it helpful that my husband has a phrase he tells me right before he ejaculates. That prepares me to receive his semen so I am not caught off guard and inadvertently gag.
Touch can be a very good thing, but not controlling touch. When he touches my shoulders or plays with my hair, it brings us together. If he were to grab my head and pull me closer unexpectedly, I might feel as though I were having difficulty breathing. However, him moving his body against mine and some pushing up into my mouth is fine; it is a sign to me that he enjoys what I am doing. The key is leaving my head free so I can set the depth for comfort.
If you want her to let you do it for her, some hangups might be:
1) If she’s not sure about how you view her. It can be hard enough to have enough self-confidence to bare breasts and other parts of the body that, while personal, are far less intimate. Being comfortable naked together is definitely a good first step–having her know that you think she is beautiful, and love touching her skin, feeling her, smelling her, etc. The more she can believe she is desirable to you the more relaxed and confident she will be.
2) If she doesn’t really think you want to. If you are hesitant and express concern you might not like it, then I doubt very much she would like it. Something about fear and doubt has a way of instantly killing arousal. If you give her any reason to think you’re doing this just because you think you should and not because you absolutely desire it, then I think I can safely assume your wife will be dry and cold with nerves by the time you get yourself down there.
3) If she’s not sure about herself down there. This would be magnified by 1 & 2. My only suggestions on that would be her possibly doing a little hair trimming or careful washing (with water) to make things clean and nice smelling.
I don’t personally see what’s so attractive about that area on me and so since he doesn’t seem so sure he wants to either, any kind or oral on me is the last thing I want to do (and I have no problems with a large variety of other sexual experiences, so it’s not that I’m at all strait-laced in bed.) He is very accepting of my body, and so I have no trouble being naked with him. I am willing to reveal or do whatever he desires. However, since he doesn’t seem to desire doing oral on me, I can think of few things that would be less arousing or desirable than asking him to do something so extremely intimate when I don’t even see how or why it would be enjoyable. Perhaps your wife is in something of the same situation?
I have no idea what your situation is (nor do I really want to know), but I hope something in there is helpful. God’s blessings as you seek to grow your marriage relationship.
Those are some great tips! Thanks for sharing.
“I don’t personally see what’s so attractive about that area on me and so since he doesn’t seem so sure he wants to either, any kind or oral on me is the last thing I want to do.”
I am sure I can’t begin to describe what is so attractive about that area on a woman in a way you will understand, just as you cannot tell me why a penis and testicles seem to be visually attractive to you. I assure you that area on a woman is though.
I find myself wondering if you KNOW your husband doesn’t seem sure or you are assuming he is unsure? Have the two of you discussed this in detail and tried to work through any issues? I am not implying you need oral to be happy, only that you may be assuming facts not in evidence with him.
Kissing a woman’s vulva and labia can be as pleasant, exciting, desirable and romantic to a man as kissing her cheek and lips. Perhaps he would be happy to do that and nothing involving his tongue. Is it possible he may be interested in oral with certain limitations? Is it possible you gave an indication at some point long forgotten you found cunnilingus odd, anxiety producing or uncomfortable for you.? Again, I am not trying to make you feel your are denying him or yourself any pleasure that you MUST have. However, I do get the impression you may be interested but do not want to pressure him or make him feel you are displeased with your intimate sharing as it now is. Sometimes it helps to have someone else provide the opening you are hesitant to attempt with them.
You do sound like a woman who does understand her husband and how to please a man and you give some really great tips for both men and women. I learned some things about what my wife may find pleasing and arousing that I had not considered. Thank you for that.
William, are there other issues at work for you? Is it a cleanliness problem does she feel she is offensive or that you have body odor?
Does she feel forced? How open is she to all other parts of your sex life? Lights on or off?
I am not asking you to necessarily share with me, this is how I help men (couples) sort our their issues so I thought it might help you to be thoughtful about your wife.
As you look at various blogs by both genders, you will find that a lot of wive do not understand the desire and the thrill that oral gives a man as a giver or a receiver.
How often do you lavish her with honest praise concerning her body? Just some thoughts.
I completely agree with El Fury that you must proceed cautiously.
Hope it helps and did not come across as you having the issue. Sex is a communication process as much as it is a physical expression between you two.
— Jerry