For whatever reason, Sexy Corte’s period is often one of the times in her cycle that she is especially amorous, which can obviously lead to frustration for both of us! The topic of period sex probably deserves its own post, but since we don’t have time to write it right now we wanted to share something new that we did a few weeks ago.

Actually, it’s not entirely new: we wrote about “Old Faithful” almost four years ago! What’s new is that we realized that we can do this position pretty effectively while Sexy Corte is using a tampon without making a big mess if we use a vibrator instead of my fingers. To refresh your memory on the position:

I lay on my back while Sexy Corte kneels over my body at a 90-degree angle with her legs spread. I play with her lady bits while she performs oral sex on me. I’ll use my fingers to play all around outside and inside her body (see: Zoom Technique) to the point that she usually loses focus and forgets what she’s supposed to be doing.

Old Faithful can be carried to completion and it’s one of the best positions for getting Sexy Corte off with my fingers. Sometimes she has a hard time reaching orgasm if I’m not inside her, and Old Faithful makes this possible. From my perspective, there’s almost nothing hotter than my wife having a powerful orgasm with me in her mouth.

Using a vibrator instead of my fingers makes the orgasm faster and easier for Sexy Corte (which can be very important when you’ve got kids), and there’s less movement to dislodge the tampon and make a mess. Sexy Corte generally has a better orgasm when I’m in her vagina (obviously), but having me in her mouth is more stimulating for her than when we’ve tried fingers or vibrator on their own.

As for me, I get some bonus fun: I love it when Sexy Corte has an orgasm while I’m in her mouth. Don’t get me wrong, her orgasms always feel great to me, but it’s a special treat for me when she climaxes while performing oral sex. It feels amazing physically, but it also drives me crazy mentally to feel and see and hear her pleasure while she’s going down on me.

There are several other things we do to make period sex work for us that we’ll write about in a later post, but we wanted to share this one now because it was so surprisingly fulfilling for both of us. Let’s hear your thoughts in the comments!

We hope you all had a Merry Christmas and are looking forward to 2018. To finish up the year here at Married Christian Sex, we want to share some emails we’ve gotten from our readers — mostly questions for Sexy Corte that have piled up! We love reading your comments and questions, so please shoot us a message (El Fury or Sexy Corte) and we’ll do our best to get back to you. As always, we won’t share anything on the blog without your permission, and we never share names or email addresses.

We especially love to hear from people who have been blessed by our blog! Husband “ONN” writes a very encouraging note:

We came across your blog about a month ago and started reading all the articles you have. We had a very good marriage and a wonderful sex life and didn’t think it could get much better than what it was. We have started applying some of the things we read and have stepped our marriage up to a whole new level. We have decided that we will try new things with an open mind to see how it feels and then decide if we like it or not. Now that you have opened our minds to some of the scripture it is easier to do some of things that are considered taboo and not feel like we are sinning or shameful. We are more relaxed and don’t miss a day without having sex at least once. Now our expectation is that we are having sex every night and we look forward to it. The article that started us was the one titled “yes you should swallow”. After reading that and showing my wife the article we began talking about it and left it up to her for the final decision. When she finally decided to do it I was amazed and very excited about it. This opened up our minds to trying new experiences and techniques. We have decided that as long as it helps our marriage and only involves the two of us we will try it and see if we like it.

Thank you for posting these articles and helping people have a more fulfilling sex life the way God intended it to be.  This is all I have time to write, it is time for us to go have sex now!!

Wife “GP” asks Sexy Corte about shaving:

I’ve been married for 6 years. I perform oral sex for my husband a good bit and we both enjoy it. However, I really want him to perform oral on me too. He’s mentioned it a good bit during intimate moments but I just brush it off. I’m a little embarrassed for him to because of my hair. If I shave, I break out in bumps bad. Any advice?

And SC replies:

Hair definitely gets in the way of oral! 🙂 I don’t shave completely because of the bumps, but leave a little ‘landing strip’ so that it doesn’t get rough.

Questions about shaving come up a lot, including from wife “IT” who includes some encouragement for us:

I’ve got a question about shaving. I’m using hormone replacement therapy (BHRT) that really improves my libido, but also causes my hair “down there” to grow faster. I like to keep it bare, but do I need a personal shaver or something?

Also, I just wanted to say how much I appreciate how candid you two are on your blog! I had never considered using a vibrator before… it had to be “wrong”. I had always been able to reach orgasm from my husband’s touch, but over time he has had to work harder and harder to get me there. After reading your blog we decided to use an egg vibrator, and we both love it! It’s easier for both of us, and the sex is great! I bet lots of wives would be more motivated for sex if they knew how much fun it could be.

We love these emails! SC responds:

Thanks so much for the encouragement! Our whole goal is to help married couples find joy in sex. I’m so glad our site has been a blessing to you!

Shaving is tricky, and everyone is different. I totally understand about the prickly thing, which is why I always leave a “landing strip” (which is like a little runway of hair where it would otherwise never totally shave smooth). I do trim that hair, but haven’t ever liked shaving it completely off. I hadn’t seen the personal shaver before, but if you don’t have luck with your razor it might be worth a try. I do just fine using my regular razor, and as long as I keep up on it every few days it works great. We have a small ledge in our shower that I can put my foot up on and that helps a ton with being able to see what I’m shaving, and push things around to get to the right spot.

You know, I used to think a vibrator or sex toys were “wrong”, but I think it’s where your heart is. A vibrator has completely changed our sex life, and it enhances our intimacy. My focus, even when using a vibrator, is on EF — my love for him, how he is making me feel. An orgasm is an incredibly powerful thing, and I’m so thankful there is a way I can experience that during sex. It makes me want my husband, not a vibrator!

Wife “LL” asks Sexy Corte about being dominant in bed:

My husband and I have been married 6 years and have a good relationship in general but our sex life is lacking at times, especially since he really enjoys me being dominant over him and using bondage and I struggle with being dominant and can’t really come up with anything creative to do so I just end up playing out basically the same scene over and over. I want to do better so he and I can both enjoy sex more. Any advice? Thanks for all you and your husband do. I really appreciate your website and all the articles you have to encourage Christian couples in their sex lives. This world needs it.

To which SC replies:

It’s great that you are willing to try this for your husband! Maybe start small and try to be dominant in other ways so that you build up some confidence for the bigger stuff. Grab him in a tight embrace and kiss him in an unexpected moment. Write a note telling him what you are going to do to him later (it doesn’t even have to be something bondage-related). Taking initiative in smaller things might help you when you are in those bigger moments. EF always likes the professor/student and pirate role-playing.

Husband “JY” asks how to help his wife enjoy sex more:

My wife and I have been married for almost two years. Before we were married I was not deep in my faith, I watched porn, and had sex. My wife knew this, and helped me become a better man. When we started to date I stopped watching porn, and we didn’t have sex until our wedding night. We did however dry hump and both of us would climax at relatively the same time. Since our marriage, I can tell that my wife doesn’t really enjoy/ get pleasure from sex. I’ve tried to talk with her, and she tells me that her pleasure is doing it for me. But I want her to enjoy it. When I bring up things like giving her oral or me receiving it she says that those things make her feel gross. We’ve talked and I have expressed my interest in expanding our sex life, but she doesn’t seem interested. I honestly just want her to enjoy sex the way that I do. She hasn’t had an orgasm for over two years, because I don’t believe she is stimulated during sex, and won’t let me try things that could stimulate her. I’m not really sure what else to do. I love my wife very much, and I know that god made sex something for husband and wife to enjoy, and I’m afraid she is missing out on such a pleasurable feeling and intimacy. Any ideas or thoughts from either of you would be very much appreciated.

SC replies:

If you and your wife have good communication, I would in a very non-threatening way ask her if she has ever had an orgasm. It’s possible she hasn’t. Ask if she would be willing to let you focus on her. There are a number of things you can try, but focus on her clitoris, not just penetration. It takes me a good 20 minutes of clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm, and that’s with EF starting with his hand and finishing with a vibrator. If EF uses his hand it’s probably more like 45 minutes. Use lube as well.  I would also try to pay attention to her cycle. Two weeks after the start of a woman’s period is when they typically ovulate, and that’s when sex drive is the highest. For me, it’s much easier to have an orgasm during this part of my cycle.

Wife “SL” asks how to learn what turns her on:

Hello! My husband and I have been enjoying your blog since we got married in May 2015. Our sex life isn’t awful (thanks to God blessing us with good communication), but it definitely isn’t what we know it can be. This is largely due to the fact that my husband has a large vocabulary of sexual things he likes and really knows what turns him on and I don’t. We have tried to explore lots of things and your blog has been very helpful, but I still struggle with knowing my likes and turn-ons. I think not comparing my sex drive/desires to my husband and expecting myself to be just like him is my biggest hangup. Any suggestions of how to explore and figure out what my turn-ons are? Questions I should ask myself? Books that might be helpful?

SC replies:

I think it’s ok if you don’t have a “large vocabulary”! I don’t think I will ever get tired of the standard, me-on-top to orgasm. We do that position at least twice a week and it still thrills me. So finding something that works really well and sticking with it is definitely fine. I’m hoping you know what gets you to orgasm best — and if you don’t, that is a matter of trying different things until you find something that works. For us, we were at least a year into marriage before we figured out what really worked for me. I also think throwing in the occasional new thing keeps your sex life exciting, and it sounds like your husband needs that. Since you are already good with communication (that is a great blessing!) talk about your expectations and what each of you can do to make sure you both have a fulfilling sex life.

You may also want to check out the “Would you rather?” game that we’ve posted, and make some index cards based on that list. It will help you and your husband discover new things.

That’s all the letters for now! We pray that God will bless your marriage, and use your marriage to be a blessing to others. Thanks for a fantastic 2017, and join us in the comment section below.

 

I bet more wives than husbands use loofahs when they shower, but that might change if your spouse transforms into a human loofah! You don’t need a loofah costume (although you could use one), you just need your naked body and some soap. The idea is simple: the wife covers herself in soapy bubbles and then washes her husband by rubbing herself all over his body. Then they switch roles and the husband washes his wife in the same way. Fun and efficient!

Here are a few ideas for making the most of your human loofah experience.

  • No hands. Using your hands is easy-mode!
  • In the dark. Turning off the lights will enhance the experience for your other senses, especially touch.
  • Mirroring. Use your corresponding part to wash your spouse — e.g., wash her chest with your chest, and her butt with your butt.
  • Sexy parts. Wash your spouse’s whole body using only your sexy parts.

You might want to read up on how to have sex in the water before you get started, because all this rubbing is likely to lead in that direction. A well-prepared husband will be ready for anything if he keeps silicone lube and a water-proof vibrator handy.

Missionary position is the most frequently used position for most couples, but it isn’t very effective for bringing the wife to orgasm. Missionary is very intimate — kissing, skin-to-skin contact, eye contact, whispering, hugging — but for most women it doesn’t create enough clitoral stimulation for orgasm. Sexy Corte usually climaxes while she is on top, and we press our wireless vibrator between our bodies to give her optimal stimulation. We can also get there with doggy style and Old Faithful, but it would be pretty great to make missionary work, too.

If you’re in the same boat as us, here are a few ideas. We haven’t tested them all yet, but when we played would-you-rather this was one of Sexy Corte’s top requests, so we’re going to find a way to make it work!

The first possibility is the coital alignment technique, or “CAT”. To be honest, I’m not entirely sure how to perform this. The internet describes at least two different approaches, and Wikipedia’s text seems anatomically improbable.

When used as a variant of the missionary position, the male lies above the female but moves upward along the woman’s body, until his erection, which would otherwise point “up,” is pointing “down”, the dorsal side of the penis now pressing against the clitoris; and as opposed to the missionary position, the male’s body moves downward (relative to the female’s) during the inward stroke, and upward for the outward stroke. She may also wrap her legs around his. Sexual movement is focused in the pelvises, without leverage from the arms or legs. The rocking upward stroke (where the female leads) and downward stroke (where the male leads) of sexual movement builds arousal that partners let develop and peak naturally.

coital alignment technique 2

So… I think the penis points parallel with the husband’s thighs, and then when he slides his body foot-ward the penis pivots until it points head-ward and penetrates the wife — and during this movement, the top surface of the penis stimulates the wife by rubbing against her clitoris. Unfortunately, my penis doesn’t bend down that way when I’m erect, and it sounds quite painful. Also, I don’t really get how sliding foot-ward “down” the wife’s body will facilitate penetration.

For a completely different approach, consider this diagram:

coital alignment technique 3

Here, the movement is vertical up-and-down rather than head-ward and foot-ward, and I don’t quite understand how it provides stimulation to the wife’s clitoris. On the plus side, this approach has the advantage of not bending the husband’s penis at an impossible angle.

In addition to these two different approaches to coital alignment technique, there are three different toys that might help the wife reach orgasm in the missionary position.

  • Egg vibrator. Simply hold the vibrator against her clitoris with the pressure of your bodies, just like we do with wife-on-top. Easy to try, but I’m not sure if the vibrator will stay put! When Sexy Corte is on top I generally use one hand to position the vibrator, and that won’t be possible in missionary.
  • We-Vibe. We reviewed the We-Vibe a couple of years ago and we didn’t like it that much — it was somewhat uncomfortable, and it didn’t hit Sexy Corte quite right. That said, we only tried it once and it’s still in our toy drawer. We should give it another shot!
  • Vibrating penis ring. A flexible ring that goes on the shaft of the husband’s penis and holds a small vibrator in place. Sounds easy enough.

vibrating penis ring s

So we’ve got a few things to try, and we’ll report back on our successes!

Have you tried coital alignment technique with any success? Or used any of these toys? Got any tips for wifely orgasms in missionary position?

 

When Sexy Corte and I go out on a date we usually do dinner plus an activity. (Usually not a movie, because there’s hardly ever anything we want to see.) But for our last date night, instead of an physical activity we decided to focus on each other by having a great conversation. Our lives are so busy that when we have time to sit down and really talk it’s usually about something “important”, and we often revisit the same topics: our amazing kids, our upcoming activities, our friends, our church, etc. Those are all great, but for this date we used a fantastic tool created by The Generous Wife to prompt us in different directions: A Year of Questions for You and Your Spouse.

The list of questions is available as a PDF, and it’s intended to give you one question to discuss with your spouse every day for a year. For our date, however, we used random.org to pick random questions for us (1 – 366) and we went through about a dozen over the course of two hours. The questions covered a lot of territory and we learned a lot about each other — almost like we were first dating again!

We also used our new wireless vibrator during dinner, which is always a blast. It’s pretty sexy to watch your wife get all flustered when you buzz her while she’s trying to decide what language she wants to learn or what she liked best about her first job. The vibrator turns her on, and her arousal drives me insane. Important tip: make sure you have a fully charged vibrator at home for after your date! The wireless one she’s wearing will eventually run out of juice, and you don’t want to leave her hanging.

Our Sensuelle Wireless Bullet vibrator finally bit the dust a few days ago after almost a year of thrice-weekly use. You may remember that we originally bought this vibrator for Sexy Corte to wear in public with my finger on the button, and it was great for that purpose! However, the vibrator was so good that it became our go-to toy almost every time Sexy Corte wanted an orgasm. (We don’t use affiliate links or anything like that, but you can easily find the product on Amazon or many other websites.)

The most common way we used the bullet was with SC on top and the bullet wedged between us, up against her clitoris. Sexy Corte doesn’t have orgasms from penetration alone (75% of women don’t) and the vibrator has been a fantastic tool for bringing her to climax while I’m inside her. We had previously used an egg vibrator for the same purpose, but the wire kept getting pulled and tangled when we moved — even pulling off once, breaking the ($10) vibrator and the mood! It’s much easier to put the wireless vibrator in position and then do our thing without distraction. I’m able to use the remote to change settings whenever desired, and then put it out of the way when we’re ready to climax.

We’ve written about how to use a wand vibrator, and wands are great for many activities, but they’re just too big for face-to-face intimacy. (And certainly too big to hide in your panties!)

The bullet we bought has ten different vibration patterns, but for the most part we never used anything but the simple low, medium, and high settings. The other seven patterns were fun to play with in public to tease SC, but they weren’t effective for actually bringing her to orgasm. Extra patterns are a feature that’s cheap for manufacturers to add to a product so you’ll probably see them on every wireless vibrator, but I wouldn’t pick a vibrator based on their presence or absence.

Is it strong enough? This is the most common question asked by shoppers and reviewers. Vibration strength is an advantage that wired vibrators have over wireless (because of larger batteries or being plugged into the wall) and it’s a property that’s very hard to quantify. Every vibrator is different, and every woman is different. This wireless bullet is weaker than the wired egg we were used to, and at first Sexy Corte was concerned that the highest power setting wouldn’t be enough for her. However, she did reach orgasm the first time we used it and every time since. It seems that a woman can adapt to a lower level of stimulation over time, even if it doesn’t meet her expectations at first.

How long do the batteries last? We always put the vibrator on the charger between uses, and it always had plenty of power and duration for our encounters. The only times we ran the battery out were when we used it in public, and in those cases we got about 40 minutes of continuous vibration time (spread out over the whole date). It would be fantastic if the batteries lasted longer, but 40 minutes is pretty respectable.

Durability: I estimate that we got about 150 orgasms from the vibrator over the course of a year — maybe 3500 minutes of use. That’s a very rough estimate, of course, but it’s in the ballpark. At a price of $30 for the vibrator, that’s only $0.20 per orgasm. The vibrator worked perfectly until it failed — the power suddenly dropped while we were using it, and then it kicked on and off randomly when we shook the device. (A wire probably came loose inside, but fixing it myself would be more trouble than it was worth.)

Final thoughts: Even if you have other toys, you should get a wireless bullet vibrator. They’re super fun, and they enable very intimate face-to-face orgasms. The Sensuelle Wireless Bullet is a solid product, and we ordered another one immediately. Just writing about it makes me eager to use the new one in public on our next date night!

(We don’t make any money from this site, and have never received any free products to review from anyone.)

Do you use a wireless or wired vibrator? In public? In private? Share your experiences in the comments.

Sex robots are almost here! Uh… really?

Back in 2007, artificial intelligence researcher David Levy from the University of Maastricht told LiveScience that people could be marrying robots – and consummating their vows – by 2050.

Although it might not appeal at first, he said, “once you have a story like ‘I had sex with a robot, and it was great!’ appear someplace like Cosmo magazine, I’d expect many people to jump on the bandwagon.”

In his PhD thesis, Intimate Relationships with Artificial Partners, Levy stated that the more human-like robots become in terms of personality, function and appearance, the more likely they are to form romantic partners for real people.

“It may sound a little weird, but it isn’t.

Actually, it is weird. (And the image above is pretty creepy.)

However, to be honest, I don’t see much to worry about. Lots of people already use primitive “robots” to augment their sex lives.

an-unassuming-silver-bullet-vibrator-apparently-inspired-some-bawdy-attention-from-a-tsa-agent-who

Making a robot more like a human doesn’t actually make it human. Robots are just things, and like any other things they can be used for good or ill.

Will lifelike sex robots fundamentally change the sexual dynamic of humanity? Maybe! But lots of other things have done that in the past, and we’ve survived.

  • Monogamy, marriage, divorce
  • Prostitution
  • Birth control in various forms
  • Paternity testing (blood typing, DNA, etc.)
  • Pornography (from cave paintings to the internet)

I don’t see anything qualitatively different between a human-like sex robot and a vibrator — if they ever exist, use with discretion.

We finally had our date night and tried the remote controlled vibrator! It was a naughty adventure. Going out with your spouse and having a sexy secret between the two of you is intoxicating. It doesn’t have to be a remote control vibrator. It could be lingerie, no panties, etc. Or it can be something you plan and share with your spouse partway through the date. One of my all-time favorite dates with El Fury was going out in a skirt, then writing “I’m not wearing panties” on a napkin and sliding it across the table to him. Completely changed the tone of our night together.

Back to last night. The first few times he buzzed me, it was startling and I jumped and gasped a little. So I recommend giving it a few test runs before you’re actually out in public. The car ride to our date location was very distracting (for both of us). It was definitely arousing, but not enough for me to orgasm. I thought it was really sexy to know that EF was thinking about pleasuring me, and loved seeing the sly smile on his face whenever he would use the remote control. Whenever we found a quiet corner I pulled him to the side to make out and fondle him a little. Letting him have that control was a huge turn-on. At one point he let it go so long I started unintentionally touching him to the rhythm of the vibrator. I felt very close and connected to him.

Needless to say, we had sex when we got home!

(Part 1Part 2, and Sexy Corte’s account of being on the receiving end.)

Wow, part 1 was written in October of 2014! Finally, almost a year-and-a-half later the stars aligned. We may not be so picky next time, but we wanted things to go smoothly the first time.

  • The right kind of event: public, and loud enough to avoid attention.
  • Alone in a crowd: we weren’t going with anyone we knew.
  • Sedate: no physical exertion required besides walking.
  • Health and wellness: no colds, periods, or exhaustion to contend with.

This is the vibrator we used: Sensuelle Wireless Bullet 10-Function. I’m not sure if this specific one is available anymore, but the brand has other options.

remote control vibrator black

 

 

Overall, we were very pleased with the vibrator.

  • High quality construction.
  • Decent power. Not as strong as a AA-battery egg vibrator, but more than strong enough to get Sexy Corte’s attention. The first few times I turned it on she jumped and yelped. (So. Hot.)
  • The ten functions were fun to play with! There’s no way to tell what function you’re on from the remote, but when we held hands on SC’s lap I could feel the vibration pattern through her body. (So. Hot.)
  • The battery life was good, but not great. I’d estimate about 30 minutes of vibration time total.

The entire experience was extremely sexy. I loved the control aspect of being able to buzz her at will, and it was sexy as heck to watch her face flush as she got turned on. There were two times during the night when we were sitting for extended periods and I let the vibrator run for 5-10 minutes straight; I could tell SC was getting worked up from her breathing and the way she was leaning into me and rubbing my hand. Just knowing how aroused she was in public was a huge turn-on for me, and wonderfully distracting for both of us.

The only slight negative to the experience was due to two factors: duration and friction. I had installed the vibrator in SC’s panties so that it was directly in contact with her skin, for maximum stimulation. However, our date was four hours long and the friction of the vibrator surface rubbing against her sensitive bits for that long caused some irritation by the end of the night. (It wasn’t the vibration that was irritating, just the long-term friction of the surface against her skin.) I’ve ordered some panties with a built-in cloth pouch that I hope will mitigate this problem in two ways: first, the the vibrator won’t be in direct contact with her skin; second, the vibrator will be easy to insert and remove. (See the image at the top of the post.)

The whole experience was amazing. Watching, hearing, and feeling my wife respond to the vibrator under my control was insanely sexy, and we’re excited to do it again.

(Stay tuned for Sexy Corte’s perspective tomorrow.)

Wives, what’s the worst thing about going out in public? The answer is obvious: when you’re in public, you’re not having sex with your husband. (Unless you are.) So, in an effort to make boring public events a little more bearable, here are a few ideas for how to turn your husband on while you’re around other people.

  • Take off your panties. Excuse yourself for a moment, slip them off, and subtly stuff your panties into his hand when you come back. “I won’t be needing these anymore.” I guarantee he won’t be thinking of anything else for the rest of the night. This works especially well when you’re ready to leave and your husband isn’t taking the hint. Bonus points: secret message panties.
  • Flash some skin. Once those panties are off, give him a sneak peek. Or find a private corner and flash your boobs. Bonus points for letting him touch.
  • Talk dirty. Pull him aside as if you need to talk about the kids, and then whisper something sexy to him. “I need you inside me”, “I’m so wet right now”, “I can’t wait to suck you off”.
  • Text dirty. Even easier than talking! You can even send a sexy pic that you took earlier.
  • Remote vibrator. Give him the remote control for the vibrator you’re wearing.
  • Sit on his lap. This is pretty innocuous, but a little strategic wiggling can have a huge effect. Bonus points if your panties are already in his pocket.
  • Under the table. Rub high on his leg under the table, or pull his hand up your inner thigh. Drop something under the table and ask him to get it, then flash your panties (or lack thereof).
  • Put up your hair. This requires that you condition your husband to expect oral sex when he sees this. Wink.
  • Secret sex reminders. Wear or carry something that isn’t obviously a sex toy, but that your husband will recognize. For example, a bracelet made from your shibari rope. You can also mention mundane aspects of recent sexy time activities. I always know what she means when Sexy Corte mentions trivia night or poetry reading.
  • Meet me in two minutes. Scout out a place for a quickie. After you’ve got him turned on using one of the above methods, tell him to meet you there in two minutes.

Maybe it goes without saying, but don’t forget to deliver on your promises when you get home!

We’d love to hear your ideas in the comments.