It really turns me on when Sexy Corte  goes down on me during or after we’ve been having vaginal sex — it’s even more intimate than standard oral sex. It’s not that the physical sensations are any different on their own, but it feels naughty and edgy — even a little dirty. (Of course, it’s just as safe and not-dirty as when I perform oral sex on her.)

Oral sex is great foreplay, but it doesn’t have to be sidelined when you start the main event! Here are a few reasons you should introduce vagina-to-mouth transitions into your sex life.

  • Variety. It’s fun to use more than one position per sexual encounter, and if you’re willing to go from her vagina to her mouth with his penis (and not just the other way around) then you’re multiplying your options.
  • Easier oral sex. Oral sex can be a lot of work and they generally don’t lead to an orgasm for the wife, but vagina-to-mouth sex can improve that. After the wife has climaxed, the husband can finish where he wants, and if he wants to ejaculate in her mouth it won’t be as much work because he’ll already be stimulated from intercourse.
  • Easier clean-up. If you’re having sex in a public place, clean-up can be easier if he ejaculates in her mouth.
  • Teasing and edging. Switching between forms of stimulation can prolong a sexual encounter and drive the receiver crazy. Either spouse can be the receiver of the teasing, it just depends on who is in control.
  • Natural lubrication. If you don’t have lube handy — or don’t want to use it — then saliva can serve the same purpose, either to get things started or to help out later. (Unflavored lubes don’t taste good, so if you’re doing vagina-to-mouth you probably won’t want to use them anyway. Of course, there are flavored lubes.)
  • Edgy and naughty. Maybe it just sounds hot because it’s a little outside your comfort zone! Incorporate some bondage, shibari, or even use vagina-to-mouth play as a sexual reward.

And everything above applies to a husband performing oral sex on his wife, too! There’s no reason he can’t pull out and go down on her.

So what do you think of it? Do you play with vagina-to-mouth sex?

We get a lot of emails along the lines of, “Can we *blank*?” Generally, the answer is yes, you can *blank* *blank* *blank* with your spouse. The three requirements we point to for sex are exclusive, consensual, and satisfying. If *blank* meets those requirements, then have at it.

(Side note: if you think our blog is explicit, you should see some of the emails that we don’t write about.)

So, while our opinion is almost always yes, we also like to append an encouragement: no matter what your *blank* is, we think it’s important to prioritize plain-old vanilla intercourse — penis-in-vagina. As Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 10:23:

“All things are lawful,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful,” but not all things build up.

In your marriage, every sex act that is exclusive, consensual, and satisfying is lawful, but not every *blank* builds up your marriage the same way that traditional intercourse sex does. Here are some advantages to intercourse we think you should keep in mind.

  • Intimate. There is nothing more intimate in the human experience than when your body joins together with your spouse — when your spouse desires you, accepts you, embraces you, and your bodies intertwine and move as one flesh. Traditional intercourse is sometimes considered vanilla and boring, but if so, perhaps we’re taking the intimacy of marriage for granted after years of familiarity. On the other hand — if you’re thirsting for intimacy — tender, enthusiastic love-making with your spouse is the oasis you’re longing for. There’s a reason that the Hebrew word yada` is used for sex; the word means to know. Genesis 4:1: “Now Adam knew Eve his wife, and she conceived…”.
  • Primal. Intercourse touches the very essence of our being in a way that other sex acts don’t. It’s how we reproduce. Penis-in-vagina sex fulfills the most basic sexual urge that each of us felt when we first noticed that girls and boys are different. We have been created with a primal, biological need for intercourse that no other sex act can satisfy.
  • Simple. Traditional intercourse doesn’t require a lot of planning, talking, convincing, or preparation. You don’t need any props or toys. You don’t need any explanations. You don’t have to wonder if your spouse will be “into it”. You can be anywhere, at any time.
  • Unifying. The Bible says that men and women were created from one flesh, and in marriage we become one flesh again. Penis-in-vagina sex is the method that God created to unify two separate people into one single flesh. We have ups and downs in our marriages, and we don’t always feel united, but intercourse brings us together again, over and over. We separate ourselves from every claim the world has on us, and we hold fast to each other. Genesis 2:22-25:

And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said,

“This at last is bone of my bones
    and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called Woman,
    because she was taken out of Man.”

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

So, try every *blank* you can think of! Explore your sexuality with your spouse, and have an awesome time. But don’t make novelty into an idol, or your spouse into a sex toy. We encourage you to do everything crazy thing you want to do, while not neglecting to come together regularly for simple intercourse.

What do you think about “vanilla” penis-in-vagina sex? Leave a comment and let us know!

Ok, so, this product isn’t intended to be sexual I don’t think… but… how can I resist posting about an insertable speaker than lets you play music from your vagina? The intended audience is unborn babies.

The pale pink device, which costs 150 euros (£110), is controlled by a phone app but does not use Bluetooth. Parents-to-be can share their babies’ listening experience using split headphones which hang out of the vagina.

The Babypod, which has a top sound level of 54 decibels, is recommended for use from the 16th week of pregnancy, and for between 10-20 minutes a time.

Babypod was launched at the “first concert for foetuses ever held in the world” in which Soraya Arnelas, who finished 23rd in the 2009 Eurovision song contest, “serenaded” 10 pregnant women fitted with the speakers, singing Christmas carols.

Babypod reassures customers that the vibrations of the device do not adversely affect a foetus – “this is why sex toys are allowed in pregnancy”.

So it plays music and vibrates inside your vagina. Seems like it would be hard to use during intercourse. Maybe it could provide musical accompaniment during oral sex? I feel like there’s are sexual opportunities here that I can’t quite think of. Leave your ideas in the comments.

Welcome back for another installment of the best Christian sex links on the internet! Pull up a chair and make yourself comfortable.

Is my penis big enough? and Is my vagina tight enough?

Giving a great hand job — more techniques than I knew existed.

“Lean Forward” into better sex — “I love the idea of women leaning forward – putting just a little extra energy and “muscle” into creating a great sex life with their husbands.”

What does it mean to respect him? and The respect knob — It isn’t intuitive for husbands to love and wives to respect.

The benefits of paying for sex — Spend some money to get the kids and chores out of the way so you can have better sex with your spouse.

Is being valued for sex such a bad thing? — “I thought I wanted my husband to value all of me—my whole self! However, what I really meant was that I wanted my husband to value me for everything else—but not for sex.”

Craving more in the bedroom? — Lots of ideas, plus a link back here!

God designed women to enjoy sex even more than men — are you? But it’s not all about orgasms.

That’s all for this week. Share your thoughts below!

Not having been born with one myself, it took some time and experience for me to learn how to properly pleasure a clitoris — and I imagine most husbands are in the same boat. In fact, some surveys of women indicate that their husbands don’t really give their clits enough of the right attention. Hopefully this post will solve this problem for all couples everywhere for all time!

(The usual caveats apply: every woman is different, so when you use this advice make sure you continue to pay attention to what your own wife actually likes.)

First, here’s a diagram of the area in question.

clitoris

You’ll notice that the vagina itself is farther down. Lots of husbands want to focus on the vagina: that’s where it’s wet, warm, and receptive to penetration. The vagina is certainly a good place to spend some time during foreplay, especially to spread around some of her natural lubrication. However, for most women that’s not where the action is.

I’m sure that most men know where the clitoris is — as you can see in the diagram, it’s between your wife’s lips and north of the vagina. Once you’ve got her wet (from her own juices, your mouth, or some lube) I’m sure you’ve used your tongue and fingers in this area many times. However, what you may not have know is that her clitoris has a “hood” that’s very similar to a man’s foreskin.

The clitoris usually hides in her hood even when stimulated. This means that your best efforts are essentially being muffled by an extra layer of skin. Sure, this feels good… about as good as when she licks your shaft. Good, but not as good as when she sucks right on the head of your penis.

Fortunately you can pull back the hood and expose more of the clit. Sometimes you can do this just by pushing back and up along the top of the clit with your tongue or finger, and sort of slide into and under the hood to touch the clit directly. However, it can be most effective if you use the fingers of your other hand to gently pull back and up on the skin around the hood and thereby pull the hood back along with the other skin. You probably don’t want to pull on the hood itself, but pull it along with the surrounding skin. This can be tricky because the area should be pretty slick to ensure her comfort. (Her skin is more sensitive than the head of your penis… would you want rough, callused, dry fingers rubbing you there?)

When you’re successful you’ll see her clitoris emerge from her shelter, exposed and ready for pleasure. You may need to maintain the pulling/pressure on the surrounding skin to keep the hood drawn back and prevent the clitoris from retreating. With the clitoris herself you need to be extremely gentle — the nerve density is much higher than anywhere on the male body. Make sure she’s wet enough, from whatever source.

As for how to actually rub your wife’s clit, here are a few tips. It’s not exactly rocket science, so ask her what she likes!

  • Lick the alphabet. This time-worn advice has apparently been passed down generation by generation, and it means exactly what it says. Lick each letter of the alphabet across her clit.
  • Circular pattern. Dance around her clit in circles, reversing directly periodically. Use more of your finger than just the tip, because as you can see in the diagram above the clit is a line, not a point.
  • Up and down pattern. Slide the length of your finger (not just fingertip) up and down over her clit. This movement can also push the hood back on its own, but the downward stroke often puts it back in place.
  • Fingertip or tongue flicking. Flick her clit with the tip of your finger or tongue. It seems like this is mostly a teaser move and your wife will likely pull you in for more pressure.
  • Suck her clit. Take the whole area into your mouth and suck. This will often pull the clit out of her hiding place and expose her to your tongue, but you can use your hand as well if necessary. The suction will pull blood into the clit and make it more sensitive, just like when she sucks on you.
  • Two-finger slide. Place your index and middle fingers on either slide of her clit and squeeze, sliding up and down. You can also slide them down into her vagina periodically just to keep her guessing. The diagram above doesn’t show it, but the nerves in the clitoris are actually shaped like a wishbone and go down deeper into her body under the lips on each side, so the two-finger slide can help stimulate the full length.
  • No retreat. This can be tricky and you want to be careful not to hurt her, but once you have the hood pulled back from her clit you can gently pinch the hood above her clit to prevent her from retreating. This move will let you use a little more force on the clit herself without her being able to get away.
  • Curl your tongue. It depends on your genes, but if you can curl your tongue you can surround your wife’s clit on every side.
  • With penetration. If your wife is like mine, she’ll come a lot more easily with you inside her. Put your penis or fingers in her while you rub or lick, and find the depth that works best with what you’re doing on the outside. This is the adult version of rubbing your head and patting your stomach at the same time. See also: Zoom Technique.
  • Variation. In my experience it’s good to vary your technique and movements while your wife is warming up, but as she gets close to orgasm it’s best to stick with one pattern until she comes.

If you’ve got any tips to share please post them in the comments! I’m always eager to learn something new.