If you said, “he ejaculates!”, then you’d better keep reading.

Most people think that female sexuality is more complicated than male sexuality — I love this illustration.

man-woman_machine

And… ok, it’s probably true! But there are still nuances to a husband’s sexuality that may not be obvious to his wife. For example, did you know that your husband’s orgasm isn’t over when he starts ejaculating? Most people equate ejaculation with orgasm, but a man’s orgasm actually begins a few seconds before ejaculation and can last for up to a minute after. There are two different things going on when a man has an orgasm.

First: Emission. Emission occurs several seconds before ejaculation, when the man’s vasa deferentia squeeze sperm out of the epididymis into ducts near the urethra. Men can feel this emission keenly — it’s very pleasurable — and this is the “point of no return” after which the man cannot stop the orgasm from happening. In these ducts the sperm is mixed with fluids from several glands to create semen. This all happens inside the man’s body and is probably unnoticeable to his wife (unless he’s giving you cues).

Second: Ejaculation. A few seconds after the semen is mixed and in position, ejaculation proper begins with repeated contractions by the bulbospongiosus muscle. These contractions move the semen through the urethra and shoot it out of the body. The contractions and spurting of semen are probably the most notable events for the wife, but ejaculation actually occurs only a few seconds into the orgasm — the whole orgasm can then last up to a minute longer.

After ejaculation the muscle contractions continue with decreasing frequency and strength and the penis gradually loses sensitivity as the orgasm winds down. It varies from person to person, of course, but post-orgasm sensitivity seems quite different between myself and Sexy Corte. After she has an orgasm, SC’s clitoris often becomes so sensitive that further stimulation is unpleasant; after my orgasm, I enjoy continued stimulation for a while until the sensations eventually become rather neutral.

As with everything, the key is to talk with your spouse about what he or she enjoys! Wives, you can use this little bit of biological knowledge to maximize your husband’s pleasure when you are leading a sexual encounter: don’t stop what you’re doing right when he ejaculates. Keep going for another minute or so and he’ll melt.

If you’re trying to get pregnant or you enjoy the almost-mystical properties of semen then you husbands need to get off the couch and get some exercise! A recent study indicates that moderate intensity continuous training (MICT) has all sorts of benefits for your swimmers:

The results of the study, published in the journal Reproduction, showed that men who exercised had improved sperm at the end of the training, regardless of which group they were in.

But those men who took part in MICT had the best results.

Compared to men who did no exercise, those in the MICT group had 8.3% more semen volume, 12.4% higher sperm motility, 17.1% improved sperm cell shape, 14.1% more concentrated sperm and 21.8% more sperm cells on average.

The researchers found that the benefits for sperm started to tail off within just a week of stopping the exercise programme.

For this study, MICT was basically jogging for 30-40 minutes, four or five times a week. We already have a responsibility to stay healthy and attractive (within the limits of our ability) for our spouse, and improved semen is a big additional benefit.

Another recent study indicates that watching too much television has a big negative effect on sperm.

A new study suggests men who spend too much time binge-watching TV have lower sperm counts compared to men who don’t watch the boob tube, according to researchers at the University of Copenhagen in Denmark.

The study found men who watched five or more hours of TV per day had 29 percent lower sperm concentration, and 34 percent lower sperm counts than men who weren’t binge-watching.

Lying around increases the temperature of the scrotum — which has a negative impact on sperm production, the researchers said.

Also, couch potatoes tend to be overweight or drink excessively, two more factors in lower sperm counts and production, according to the study, published in the November issue of the American Journal of Epidemiology.

Men who played on a computer for the same amount of time didn’t experience a dip in semen levels.

So husbands, get out there and run! If your wife is already pregnant, your semen can cure her morning sickness. Even aside from pregnancy, your semen can improve your wife’s health and mood. If you want your wife to be healthy and happy, you have a husbandly duty to exercise!

It really turns me on when Sexy Corte  goes down on me during or after we’ve been having vaginal sex — it’s even more intimate than standard oral sex. It’s not that the physical sensations are any different on their own, but it feels naughty and edgy — even a little dirty. (Of course, it’s just as safe and not-dirty as when I perform oral sex on her.)

Oral sex is great foreplay, but it doesn’t have to be sidelined when you start the main event! Here are a few reasons you should introduce vagina-to-mouth transitions into your sex life.

  • Variety. It’s fun to use more than one position per sexual encounter, and if you’re willing to go from her vagina to her mouth with his penis (and not just the other way around) then you’re multiplying your options.
  • Easier oral sex. Oral sex can be a lot of work and they generally don’t lead to an orgasm for the wife, but vagina-to-mouth sex can improve that. After the wife has climaxed, the husband can finish where he wants, and if he wants to ejaculate in her mouth it won’t be as much work because he’ll already be stimulated from intercourse.
  • Easier clean-up. If you’re having sex in a public place, clean-up can be easier if he ejaculates in her mouth.
  • Teasing and edging. Switching between forms of stimulation can prolong a sexual encounter and drive the receiver crazy. Either spouse can be the receiver of the teasing, it just depends on who is in control.
  • Natural lubrication. If you don’t have lube handy — or don’t want to use it — then saliva can serve the same purpose, either to get things started or to help out later. (Unflavored lubes don’t taste good, so if you’re doing vagina-to-mouth you probably won’t want to use them anyway. Of course, there are flavored lubes.)
  • Edgy and naughty. Maybe it just sounds hot because it’s a little outside your comfort zone! Incorporate some bondage, shibari, or even use vagina-to-mouth play as a sexual reward.

And everything above applies to a husband performing oral sex on his wife, too! There’s no reason he can’t pull out and go down on her.

So what do you think of it? Do you play with vagina-to-mouth sex?

Reader “E” asks:

My wife and I have been reading your blog for a couple months and we are fans of your style. My wife and I recently introduced mutual masturbation into our relationship. We both enjoyed it but felt a bit out of our comfort zone. We were wondering what you and Sexy Corte’s take on mutual masturbation is, both from a Biblical and enjoyability standpoint.

At the risk of being overly graphic: We recently introduced masturbating to orgasm together, in front of one another. It was actually not something we planned, we were engaging in foreplay and she began touching herself and asked if I liked what I saw. I did and decided to go along with her idea and we both ended up finishing together. We were discussing afterword and we both agreed we enjoyed it, but she expressed some awkwardness about having me finish on her (rather than inside as usual).

I think I would enjoy working this “into the rotation”, but it certainly isn’t a replacement for sex. I don’t know how I feel if she’s not comfortable being finished on. I told her I would find it extremely fun to finish on her breasts but she seems uneasy. This confuses me because we both regularly engage in oral sex and she has been finishing me in her mouth for some time.

I suppose why we are really reaching out is how to handle the awkwardness and issues with where to finish, as I don’t think I’d be totally game for kleenex/towel/shirt etc.

There are at least two topics here, so let’s take them one at a time!

First: mutual masturbation, is it wrong? I think the answer is clearly no, there’s nothing wrong with you and your spouse masturbating together, as long as the activity is consensual, mutually satisfying, and done in faith. Sexy Corte and I recommend that you don’t let mutual masturbation dominate your sex life with your spouse — there’s nothing wrong with putting it “in the rotation”, but we think it’s still important to frequently engage in intercourse.

Second: where to finish? Semen is a very powerful symbol and I completely understand your reluctance to ejaculate into a towel. If your wife enjoys oral, then one obvious suggestion is to finish in her mouth and ask her to show it to you on her tongue before she swallows. However, if the visual aesthetics of finishing on her body is specifically important to you, then there are a few ways you might relieve her anxiety.

  • Do it right before she’s planning to shower anyway.
  • Give her a washcloth to hold before you get started.
  • Ensure she’s in a position that feels “safe” — laying on her back might be more comfortable than kneeling in front of you.
  • Promise that you won’t get it on her face, hair, eyes, or wherever she’s sensitive about.

As for enjoyability, your mileage may vary. Until we received your question, Sexy Corte and I had never experimented with me ejaculating on her body — thanks for bringing it up!  So we did it, but honestly it wasn’t a huge turn-on for either of us; it’s more pleasurable for both of us when I ejaculate inside her. The sight of her ready and willing to receive my semen was very sexy, but ultimately the experience was nothing special. Still, husbands are visual creatures, and your wife should be the pinnacle of sexuality in your eyes, so it isn’t surprising that many husbands find it intensely erotic to ejaculate on their wives. Nothing wrong with that!

Finally, I must add that I applaud you and your wife for experimenting outside your comfort zones.

Please use the contact pages for Sexy Corte and El Fury to send us your questions. We will only share your question if you give us permission, and we’ll never reveal your name or any other identifying information. You can ask questions anonymously, or use a free anonymous email server like Mailinator.

This probably strikes most wives as a strange topic, but maximizing the quantity of our semen is often a matter of pride and fun for men. What’s the deal?

More semen symbolically means more of all these things. In addition to the power of semen as a symbol, more semen can also have some some physical significance. Here are some facts.

  • Most men ejaculate about 5 milliliters of semen at a time. That’s about a teaspoon. Of course, there’s wide variation among men.
  • Semen and sperm are different. Semen contains sperm, but it also includes a host of healthy ingredients.
  • Semen quantity and sperm quantity are related, so more semen generally means more total sperm ejaculated; this can increase your chance of conception.
  • More semen often means that the man had a longer orgasm, which is certainly an indirect benefit.
  • As with most things in life, heredity plays a huge role in the quantity of a man’s semen.
  • Pills and supplements are extremely unlikely to affect the quantity of your semen. Save your money.

There are a few things a man can do to maximize the quantity and quality of his semen. I say maximize rather than increase because a man can move towards the top of his natural range, but he can’t change his physiology. So what can a man do?

  • Hydration. Semen is mostly water, so make sure you’re drinking enough. Unless you’re dehydrated though, drinking more water probably won’t increase your semen volume.
  • Edging. Here’s our big post about edging, but the idea is simple: long-duration stimulation that gets you to the edge of orgasm. The longer and more intense the stimulation, the more semen will be locked and loaded.
  • Excercise your pubococcygeus muscleWomen do Kegel exercises to improve their orgasms, and men can do them too. Strengthening your pelvic floor will improve your orgasms and give you more control over when you orgasm. (Make sure you practice contractions and extensions.)
  • Maintain your fitness. Exercise improves circulation, and improved circulation will improve the strength of your erection and orgasm. (Not to mention all the other health benefits of lifting.)
  • Reduce ejaculation frequency. As you’ve probably noticed, there’s more semen when you haven’t ejaculated for a couple of days — but is that a price you’re willing to pay? I’d rather have more sex with my wife than less sex with more semen per orgasm. However, increased semen volume can be a pleasant benefit when you come back together after being separated for a couple of days. It seems that a man builds up his maximum amount of semen in two to three days, so there’s no benefit to waiting longer than that.
  • Make it look like more. Since the desire for more semen is mostly about the symbolism, increase the power of the symbol by making your semen look like more. Spread your semen around when you ejaculate. See if your wife is open to you shooting it on her face, breasts, or stomach. When you ejaculate in her vagina, take a look before she cleans up. When you ejaculate in her mouth, ask her to show it to you before she swallows.
  • Enjoy what you’ve got. Talk about your semen with your wife. Before sex, tell her that you can’t wait to come inside her. Tell your wife you’d love her to beg for your come during sex or a blow job. After sex, savor the view of your semen on your wife, in her vagina, or in her mouth. Touch it, rub it around, taste it. Later, tell her how hot it is to you that your semen is still inside her or leaking into her panties. Wives: tell your husband that you love his semen, that it tastes amazing, that you want it all over your body, that you need it inside you. Make a show of enjoying your husband’s semen after he ejaculates. Revel in his power and masculinity!

So, husbands and wives, what do you think? Do you have any tips to share? Anything kinky we need to try?

Since we posted on the topic of jaw pain during oral sex we’ve received a flood of questions with a similar theme, from both husbands and wives:

  • How do I get my wife to swallow?
  • How do I learn to enjoy swallowing my husband’s semen?

If your sex life with your spouse is otherwise good, the issue with swallowing semen might come down to communication. After El Fury told me how much it meant to him that I would swallow his semen, I figured I at least needed to try it — it’s already in my mouth anyways, so there’s just one more step! It was a little strange the first time I did it, but over time it got a lot easier. Husband, be open and honest with your wife about how important it is to you, and ask if she will at least try it a few times. If your wife has a hard time with it and does it anyway, you would be wise to express how much it means to you. If she gives it an honest effort but still doesn’t want to swallow, you might have to let it go. You don’t want to put so much pressure on her that she becomes reluctant to do oral sex altogether.

Wives: if you want to learn to enjoy it, you have the right intention at heart. My hope is that that desire is all you will need to overcome your difficulty swallowing. But, what are some more practical tips?

My first bit of advice is to at least try it. You might have a mental block simply at the thought of it. I remember how strange it felt the first time El Fury asked me to swallow. After a few times it became familiar and really wasn’t a big deal anymore. I actually thought it was easier than holding it in my mouth and rushing to the bathroom to spit it out right after.

Second, keep in mind that this could be an issue that is near and dear to your husband’s heart, so you really should have an open mind and give it a try.

Third, if you make up your mind to do it, then just do it. Don’t think about it when he ejaculates, just swallow it fast. You should be able to tell right before he comes, so be ready. If you still can’t get past it after a few attempts, your husband should be understanding and at least appreciate that you tried to like it. There are so many fun sexual experiences to have with your spouse that we shouldn’t get hung up on one issue.

Please use the contact pages for Sexy Corte and El Fury to send us your questions. We will only share your question if you give us permission, and we’ll never reveal your name or any other identifying information. You can ask questions anonymously, or use a free anonymous email server like Mailinator.

Are you pregnant and suffering with morning sickness? Great news! Swallowing your husband’s semen will cure your nausea! Well, maybe… but better safe than sorry, I always say.

So what does Gallup say is the real culprit behind nausea and vomiting in early pregnancy? Semen. More specifically, unfamiliar semen. To understand where he’s coming from, we need to think back to the maternal immune system’s response to the fetus. Because half of the DNA the fetus is carrying comes from the father, the mother’s body may initially treat the organism as foreign tissue or an infection. This response, Gallup says, triggers an immune reaction that is commonly experienced as nausea, vomiting, and malaise (aka morning sickness). The best cure for this type of sickness, says Gallup, is, strangely enough, the same thing as its cause. The more exposure a woman has to her partner’s semen—that is to say, the more often she’s inseminated prior to conception and during the early stages of the pregnancy—the more tolerance her body develops to his genetic material. This tolerance generalizes to a tolerance for the fetus and leads to successful maternal immunosuppression—and subsequently allows her to feel less like an infected zombie with serious stomach troubles.

Swallowing your husband’s semen also appears to reduce the risk of preeclampsia.

Normal pregnancy is thought to be associated with a state of tolerance to the foreign antigens of the fetus, whereas in preeclamptic women this immunological tolerance might be hampered. The present study shows that oral sex and swallowing sperm is correlated with a diminished occurrence of preeclampsia which fits in the existing idea that a paternal factor is involved in the occurrence of preeclampsia.

So, dear readers: go do some research and report back.

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All Christian sex bloggers eventually get around to the question: should a wife swallow her husband’s semen? As usual, the answer is “if she wants to”. Well that’s fine… no one should be coerced into doing anything against her will… but I’m going to go a bit farther for wives and claim that you should cultivate a desire to swallow.

Why? Well, let’s get inside your husband’s head for a minute. As I’ve written before, we men like to mark our territory — and depositing his goo into your body is one of the primary ways your husband marks you. If you reject his semen, you’re rejecting him as your mate and as the potential father of your children. Even though it’s your mouth, refusing to swallow is basically the same as insisting that your husband wear a condom when you have intercourse.

On the flip side, when you do swallow, you create intimacy between you and your husband. You demonstrate love and acceptance on a very primal level that goes beyond words. If you want to drive your husband crazy don’t just suck him off — dive into him like a woman wandering through a desert who has just spotted an oasis. Not like you have to swallow, but like you crave him and will die if he doesn’t shoot himself down your throat right now.

And finally: God himself describes the passion of oral sex better than I ever could.

Bonnie Wallace says that semen is the perfect food for a wife.

In addition, it also has some great mind-altering effects.  It boosts melatonin, which helps you sleep, and oxytocin, which increases affection and boosts your mood.  You know how they say that breast milk is the most perfect food for an infant?  Well, semen is a pretty darn close comparison for the perfect sex food for a wife.

She also gives some helpful tips, so I recommend that wives head over to her place and read the whole article.

Ok, I’m not going to say that it is easy to swallow the first time you try to do it.  Depending on how often you have sex, a LOT may come out down there.  I’ll admit that my technique initially was to try to get it all in my mouth then swallow all at once to “get it over with” and that usually ended up making a really big mess.  Instead, it works better to drink it like a water fountain, swallowing and drawing more into your mouth at the same time.  Granted, there still may be too much to get it all, but it works a lot better this way than the other.

Since this topic generates a lot of email for us, let me also point you to these related posts: