“Sex robots” are everywhere in the media these days, from television, to movies, to the news.

In HBO’s series “Westworld,” humans pay for sex with robots in an anything-goes Wild West-inspired theme park. In the movie “Her,” a man falls in love with his Siri-like operating system. And in AMC’s show “Humans,” a husband has an affair with his pretty robotic assistant.

It’s the stuff of science fiction. But could a world in which robots are at our sexual beck and call be nearer than we think? What would that mean for humanity and for our sex lives?

Most experts agree that we’re at least decades away from a true “Westworld” scenario. We just don’t have the technology to create robots that can function as realistic sex partners, but we may be getting closer.

You might think that’s icky, but I’ll bet many of you already have a sex robot in your bedroom…

Vibrators, dildos, and other toys can be great fun and enhance sex with your spouse, as long as you’re careful to make sure they don’t replace your spouse!

Well guess what? We just got a sex robot of our very own! It’s awesome in the bedroom, of course, but we’ve already used it in every room of the house. Say hello to our cute little Xiaomi Mi Robot Vacuum. It’s basically like a Roomba, but better.

How does a robot vacuum relate to sex, you ask? Does it have some… uh… special attachments? No, even better: it saves Sexy Corte two hours every week and a ton of stress. Vacuuming while surrounded by toddlers is a lot of work, and now the robot does almost all of it. She can spend those hours doing all sorts of other productive things, including sexy stuff with me!

So, husbands, would you like your wife to have less stress and more time and energy for sex? Consider buying her the ultimate sex robot, a robot vacuum: the robot that helps you have more sex with each other. And wives, every time that robot zooms past, make sure to give your husband a little vicarious “choreplay” credit for the work its doing.

Sex robots are almost here! Uh… really?

Back in 2007, artificial intelligence researcher David Levy from the University of Maastricht told LiveScience that people could be marrying robots – and consummating their vows – by 2050.

Although it might not appeal at first, he said, “once you have a story like ‘I had sex with a robot, and it was great!’ appear someplace like Cosmo magazine, I’d expect many people to jump on the bandwagon.”

In his PhD thesis, Intimate Relationships with Artificial Partners, Levy stated that the more human-like robots become in terms of personality, function and appearance, the more likely they are to form romantic partners for real people.

“It may sound a little weird, but it isn’t.

Actually, it is weird. (And the image above is pretty creepy.)

However, to be honest, I don’t see much to worry about. Lots of people already use primitive “robots” to augment their sex lives.

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Making a robot more like a human doesn’t actually make it human. Robots are just things, and like any other things they can be used for good or ill.

Will lifelike sex robots fundamentally change the sexual dynamic of humanity? Maybe! But lots of other things have done that in the past, and we’ve survived.

  • Monogamy, marriage, divorce
  • Prostitution
  • Birth control in various forms
  • Paternity testing (blood typing, DNA, etc.)
  • Pornography (from cave paintings to the internet)

I don’t see anything qualitatively different between a human-like sex robot and a vibrator — if they ever exist, use with discretion.