Some great posts to link to this week. I almost linked to a post about spanking that was pretty explicit, but then decided not to.

Gain confidence in the bedroom — Nothing is sexier than enthusiasm and responsiveness: embrace your sexuality!

“And felt grateful my husband and I had made love last night. God must have known I needed it.” — Making love makes more love.

Does the way you avoid sex add to the emotional disconnection? — “Not right now” is an acceptable answer sometimes, but it’s better to just say so than to passive-aggressively avoid sex.

Why did God make sex so hard? — (Haha, “hard”. Ok, I’m childish.) But why should something great be easy?

“It’s Getting Hot in Here” Sex Game — Who doesn’t like sex games?

Husbands, do you text with your wife from work? — SC and I text pretty much every day, but it’s mostly mundane rather than sexual.

Why do men think sex is a reward? — Because it’s something we want, and sometimes it’s scarce. I previously wrote that sexual favors can be one kind of prize for the winner of a sex game, but that idea is controversial. Should sex never be used as a reward?

Female anatomy and orgasm from PIV sex — “your ability or inability to orgasm during intercourse is because you were born that way”.

Ten 30-minute date ideas — Or spend five hours doing them all in a row!

On the topic of edging — Edging is fun and can lead to huge orgasms.

Got another link to share? Leave a comment!

As you may have noticed, Sexy Corte and I really enjoy creating and playing sexual games. We enjoy games in general, and sex games are great foreplay. In the end, everyone wins and gets to have sex! It can be fun to raise the stakes a little by offering a prize to the winner, but let me start off by recommending something that you don’t use for a prize:

Don’t ask for something your spouse won’t enjoy giving.

It’s very temping to suggest, “If I win, you have to *blank*”, where *blank* is something you want that your spouse just doesn’t like. Asking for a prize like this is manipulative, and it will taint the whole game. Don’t try to use a game to coerce your spouse.

Instead of using prizes to get something from your spouse that she doesn’t want to give, we suggest that you pick rewards that are amusing, embarrassing, teasing, or even non-sexual. It’s important to note: for a given game, the prize doesn’t have to be the same for each spouse. He may want one thing if he wins, and she may want something else. Both spouses should agree up front to the prizes, to ensure they’re relatively fair.

So, without further ado, here are a few ideas for giving the winner something special. (Instead of a loser, I’m going to call the spouse who doesn’t win the giver.)

  • Do it longer. Winner receives some sex act for longer than usual and luxuriates in it. This could be 30 minutes of oral sex, a full-body massage, or extended teasing or edging.
  • For a week. Winner receives some sex act every day for a week. Not something the giver dislikes, but something the winner wants more of. Maybe it’s a certain preferred position like doggy style, a time of day, a location (or public place), sleeping naked (or almost), or blow jobs every day. Whatever it is, the winner shouldn’t have to remind the giver — be proactive!
  • Giver initiates. This is probably a prize for the higher-drive spouse: the giver has to initiate sex. Maybe just once, maybe for a week, or whatever seems fair. The giver needs to be looking for opportunities to initiate sex faster than the winner gets horny.
  • Put it on. The winner picks an outfit and the giver puts on a show putting it on. The clothes can be something sexy to wear around the house, or a favorite outfit that the winner wants the giver to wear on a date or to church. The winner may also choose to dress up the giver in something ridiculous or embarrassing and go out in public, but make sure to set the ground rules before the game.
  • Take it off. The winner picks some music and the giver performs a striptease or sexy dance. The giver should really go slow and ham it up.
  • Yes sir! Or yes ma’am! The giver calls the winner sir, ma’am, or some other honorific in private for a day or a week. You could also pick some other show of submission for the giver, such as: standing whenever the winner enters the room, sitting at the winner’s feet instead of on the furniture, or asking permission before leaving the room. It’s a submission game, and it’s the giver’s responsibility to remember and obey the rules.
  • Say please. The giver must ask permission to orgasm, and then wait to receive it. Ask, beg, plead, give the winner a show.
  • While sex. The winner picks a situation to have sex while doing something else. Maybe it’s a television and oral sex bifecta, the story distraction game, fingering under her dress at the movie theater, wearing a vibrator in public, a topless haircut, or eating her out while she’s on the phone. Pick a mundane activity and add something sexy.
  • Pamper me. Giver treats the winner to some grooming and TLC. The giver can trim the winner’s nails, wash her in the shower, rub her with lotion, massage her body, head, and feet, shave her legs or his face, or cut his hair. Husbands, you may think this prize is just for wives, but try it out!
  • Roleplay. Winner picks a scenario to roleplay with the giver, and the giver gives it all she’s got. Dress the part, do the accent, get into it, ham it up.
  • Pick the next. Winner picks the next restaurant, movie, TV show, book, Bible study, board game, sex game, paint color, kid’s name, or vacation destination. Better than flipping a coin!
  • Skip a chore. Giver does a chore that the winner would usually do, for a day, a week, or whatever. The giver should make sure to do it up to the standards of the winner.

We add to this list as we think of more possible rewards. Please share your ideas in the comments!

Since Sexy Corte just brought up our Sexy-Time check list I may well elaborate on our game of Naked Marco Polo. In case you aren’t familiar with the family-safe version of the game, the basics are simple: one person is blindfolded and has to catch the other; whenever the seeker says “Marco”, the evader has to say “Polo”. Then you run around the room taking turns trying to catch each other and escape.

Naked Marco Polo is much more fun, because the seeker gets a reward when he catches the evader. For Sexy Corte and I, the rewards started with 30 seconds of foreplay for the seeker: some licking, rubbing, kissing, or whatever the seeker wanted. Then we handed off the blindfold and swapped roles.

We were playing in the Sex Room (i.e., the Master Bedroom) and it was pretty easy to catch each other. The rewards quickly turned into sex, and the game ended in a predictable fashion. A good time was had by all, but next time we play we may have to use the whole house after the kids go to sleep.