We’ve seen some great posts over the last month or so, but haven’t had time to post them all yet… so here we go!
In Song of Solomon 5:1, God interjects and approves of marital intimacy by saying, “Eat, friends; drink and imbibe deeply, O lovers.” — This reminds me… I need to finish my long-running series about Song of Solomon!
Dear wife, you deserve a great sex life too! — If a husband wants better sex for himself, one of the best ways to get it is to focus more on his wife.
A huge list of things many husbands would like to try with their wives — also, be willing to be adventurous — wives, science says that you may not even know what arouses you.
Average penis size by country, and a helpful tip for a wife who wants to measure her husband surreptitiously. Husbands, don’t worry: women don’t seem to care as much about size as we do.
Enthusiastic sex = greater intimacy — we also wrote about the importance of enthusiasm.
More about frenulum orgasms — here’s our post about the frenulum. For him, also try prostate massaging.
Move mismatched sex drives towards better — sex and marriage take effort.
Why you should try doggy-style — and here are some tips for the doggy-style position.
How to make sex into a great workout — use all your muscles!
Sex toys for Valentine’s Day — we really enjoy our wedge pillows and remote-controlled vibrator.
Be visually generous — if your husband his feeling down, just ask if he wants to touch your boobs.
Oral sex survey results — every sex blogger’s favorite topic. Husbands and wives apparently want to give more oral sex than they currently do.
Overcoming fellare phobia, the fear of giving oral sex — “He was thrilled!” — Swallowing and Enjoying It. Semen doesn’t taste like chocolate, but hey, you can always add chocolate!
Ask your husband to choose your panties for the day — alternatively: secret message panties.
Plus, 20 more great links from Forgiven Wife.
Whew, that’s a lot of stuff! If you’ve got another link to share, leave a comment.
We finally had our date night and tried the remote controlled vibrator! It was a naughty adventure. Going out with your spouse and having a sexy secret between the two of you is intoxicating. It doesn’t have to be a remote control vibrator. It could be lingerie, no panties, etc. Or it can be something you plan and share with your spouse partway through the date. One of my all-time favorite dates with El Fury was going out in a skirt, then writing “I’m not wearing panties” on a napkin and sliding it across the table to him. Completely changed the tone of our night together.
Back to last night. The first few times he buzzed me, it was startling and I jumped and gasped a little. So I recommend giving it a few test runs before you’re actually out in public. The car ride to our date location was very distracting (for both of us). It was definitely arousing, but not enough for me to orgasm. I thought it was really sexy to know that EF was thinking about pleasuring me, and loved seeing the sly smile on his face whenever he would use the remote control. Whenever we found a quiet corner I pulled him to the side to make out and fondle him a little. Letting him have that control was a huge turn-on. At one point he let it go so long I started unintentionally touching him to the rhythm of the vibrator. I felt very close and connected to him.
Needless to say, we had sex when we got home!
(Part 1, Part 2, and Sexy Corte’s account of being on the receiving end.)
Wow, part 1 was written in October of 2014! Finally, almost a year-and-a-half later the stars aligned. We may not be so picky next time, but we wanted things to go smoothly the first time.
- The right kind of event: public, and loud enough to avoid attention.
- Alone in a crowd: we weren’t going with anyone we knew.
- Sedate: no physical exertion required besides walking.
- Health and wellness: no colds, periods, or exhaustion to contend with.
This is the vibrator we used: Sensuelle Wireless Bullet 10-Function. I’m not sure if this specific one is available anymore, but the brand has other options.
Overall, we were very pleased with the vibrator.
- High quality construction.
- Decent power. Not as strong as a AA-battery egg vibrator, but more than strong enough to get Sexy Corte’s attention. The first few times I turned it on she jumped and yelped. (So. Hot.)
- The ten functions were fun to play with! There’s no way to tell what function you’re on from the remote, but when we held hands on SC’s lap I could feel the vibration pattern through her body. (So. Hot.)
- The battery life was good, but not great. I’d estimate about 30 minutes of vibration time total.
The entire experience was extremely sexy. I loved the control aspect of being able to buzz her at will, and it was sexy as heck to watch her face flush as she got turned on. There were two times during the night when we were sitting for extended periods and I let the vibrator run for 5-10 minutes straight; I could tell SC was getting worked up from her breathing and the way she was leaning into me and rubbing my hand. Just knowing how aroused she was in public was a huge turn-on for me, and wonderfully distracting for both of us.
The only slight negative to the experience was due to two factors: duration and friction. I had installed the vibrator in SC’s panties so that it was directly in contact with her skin, for maximum stimulation. However, our date was four hours long and the friction of the vibrator surface rubbing against her sensitive bits for that long caused some irritation by the end of the night. (It wasn’t the vibration that was irritating, just the long-term friction of the surface against her skin.) I’ve ordered some panties with a built-in cloth pouch that I hope will mitigate this problem in two ways: first, the the vibrator won’t be in direct contact with her skin; second, the vibrator will be easy to insert and remove. (See the image at the top of the post.)
The whole experience was amazing. Watching, hearing, and feeling my wife respond to the vibrator under my control was insanely sexy, and we’re excited to do it again.
(Stay tuned for Sexy Corte’s perspective tomorrow.)
Wives, what’s the worst thing about going out in public? The answer is obvious: when you’re in public, you’re not having sex with your husband. (Unless you are.) So, in an effort to make boring public events a little more bearable, here are a few ideas for how to turn your husband on while you’re around other people.
- Take off your panties. Excuse yourself for a moment, slip them off, and subtly stuff your panties into his hand when you come back. “I won’t be needing these anymore.” I guarantee he won’t be thinking of anything else for the rest of the night. This works especially well when you’re ready to leave and your husband isn’t taking the hint. Bonus points: secret message panties.
- Flash some skin. Once those panties are off, give him a sneak peek. Or find a private corner and flash your boobs. Bonus points for letting him touch.
- Talk dirty. Pull him aside as if you need to talk about the kids, and then whisper something sexy to him. “I need you inside me”, “I’m so wet right now”, “I can’t wait to suck you off”.
- Text dirty. Even easier than talking! You can even send a sexy pic that you took earlier.
- Remote vibrator. Give him the remote control for the vibrator you’re wearing.
- Sit on his lap. This is pretty innocuous, but a little strategic wiggling can have a huge effect. Bonus points if your panties are already in his pocket.
- Under the table. Rub high on his leg under the table, or pull his hand up your inner thigh. Drop something under the table and ask him to get it, then flash your panties (or lack thereof).
- Put up your hair. This requires that you condition your husband to expect oral sex when he sees this. Wink.
- Secret sex reminders. Wear or carry something that isn’t obviously a sex toy, but that your husband will recognize. For example, a bracelet made from your shibari rope. You can also mention mundane aspects of recent sexy time activities. I always know what she means when Sexy Corte mentions trivia night or poetry reading.
- Meet me in two minutes. Scout out a place for a quickie. After you’ve got him turned on using one of the above methods, tell him to meet you there in two minutes.
Maybe it goes without saying, but don’t forget to deliver on your promises when you get home!
We’d love to hear your ideas in the comments.
For the wives: maybe you want to get your husband worked up all day, or maybe you’re feeling a little shy, but here’s a fun idea for using your panties to send a secret message to your husband.
Basically, the concept is simple – she picks (or randomly chooses) a specific color of panties to wear that day / night when she wants to do something specific. Then she figures out the “menu” and sends it to me via a text or hands me a dirty note. This is my signal that the game is on. It might read:
- White means slow and gentle
- Red means go hard and fast, don’t worry about me
- Blue means lick me til I cum
- Grey means I want your cum all over my face
- Green means I want something in my ass but I’m afraid to ask
- Black means I want to tie you up
- Polka Dots means use a toy
- No panties means anything goes
- Etc. (you can kink up or kink down based on your personal preferences)
Then when we get suitably in the mood, I just pick up on what she’s feeling based on her choice of underwear without ever having to awkwardly discuss how kinky she is feeling that particular night.
You can add a little mystery by getting dressed in the dark, or by making your husband work to catch a glimpse of your panties after sending him the menu.
One of my most memorable dates with El Fury involved our car, a napkin, and a skirt. We had had a crazy day with the kids and both of us needed a little break. Last minute we asked a friend to watch them so that we could get out for a few hours. I threw on a skirt and a nice top, we dropped the kids off and went out for ice cream. El Fury didn’t know that I had a little trick up my sleeve.
In the middle of our date, I wrote him a note on a napkin and slid it over to him. He unfolded it, read it, and got a sly smile on his face. The note simply said, “I’m not wearing any panties”. He was too distracted after that, so we immediately finished our ice cream and got out of there. We drove to the nearest dead end we could find. All he had to do was pull down his pants a little, and all I had to do was hop on. We had amazing sex, definitely in my top 5!
I love it when El Fury is thoughtful and romantic. For him, and probably most men I would guess, it meant a lot to him that I thought out and planned a sexual surprise. He likes knowing that I think about and initiate a lot of our sexy time. Something so simple can go a long way. Women, think of a way to surprise your husband sexually.