Bifecta: Café Fellatio 1

This post is also available as a podcast: Podcast #012: The Bifecta – Combining Sex With Another Activity

I love coffee and oral sex, but until now I hadn’t thought of combining them! We’ve written before about one kind of bifecta (television and casual oral sex) and here’s another: Café Fellatio.

A bar set to open in Geneva, Switzerland, later this year will have the most-bizarre offering. It will offer its customers oral sex and coffee, albeit at a high price. Customers will have to shell out a lot more than an average brew to enjoy the cuppa, and at the same time get comfortable at the cafe’s bar. It is believed that customers will be charged £42 (AU$80) for the combo. An additional AU$7 will be charged as surplus for the drink.

Obviously this idea is exploitative and immoral as a business, but it sounds like a fun treat to enjoy with your spouse!

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Best Christian Sex Links of the Week 2

I don’t know about you all, but this month has been crazy busy for our family! Here are a bunch of great links that have been piling up in my inbox.

Eye candy — Tasty and low-carb. Watching Sexy Corte undress or do anything naked is awesome, especially chores or cooking — probably because acts of services is my primary love language.

Fun things to do in the nude — For when you have the house to yourselves. Why wear clothes on your stay-cation?

How often are healthy couples having sex? — More sex leads to better sex, and we recommend building a habit of daily sex.

Should you get a sex pillow? — We have two wedge pillows with clips to attach cuffs. Very versatile.

Foreplay moves that will actually turn you on — And husbands, yes, it’s worth shaving.

Rear entry with her on top — We enjoy doggy style, but haven’t tried it much with Sexy Corte in the more active role.

How your marriage can benefit from technology — Other than vibrators or sex robots of course! Always use discretion when bringing any outside influence into your marriage.

Growth spurt fellatio technique — The best way to wake up. What’s your favorite thing you wife does during oral sex? Mine isn’t on the poll: it’s when Sexy Corte has an orgasm with me in her mouth.

Adding slang to your sex life — Check out the history of sexual slang.

Romantic Jenga — Here’s a list of sexy activities you can use for your blocks.

Have a great week! Share any more great links in the comments.

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Numbing Sprays and Lube: Are They Safe? 3

A reader’s wife recently suggested that she try using a numbing spray to help her overcome her gag reflex, and I wrote back that such use is generally safe. But what about numbing sprays and lubes more generally?

In addition to cough sprays and cough drops that are intended for other uses (sore throats) there are also products that are intended to numb during sex. There are several different potential applications, and each type of use has it’s own considerations. The most important thing to remember is that pain was designed by God to warn us about injury. Numbing agents can be used to reduce discomfort, but shouldn’t be used to mask pain. Here are the three major applications, in order of least risky to most risky.

  • Penis: Numbing spray can be used on the penis to mitigate premature ejaculation. This is generally safe and somewhat effective. It is unlikely that a topical numbing agent will prevent a man from feeling pain in his penis.
  • Throat: Numbing spray is generally safe to use on the throat to reduce discomfort during oral sex. There are also flavored, numbing lubes that can be used for the same purpose. Of course, applying numbing agents to the penis will make it harder for the husband to orgasm! The wife can use the throat spray a few minutes before starting oral sex to avoid accidentally applying it to the penis. The mouth and throat are pretty tough, and as long as the wife is careful it’s unlikely that her husband’s penis will cause injury.
  • Anus: There are numerous kinds of lube designed to aid anal sex, including some with numbing agents. Numbing lube shouldn’t be used to mask pain! Anal sex should not be painful. If used wisely numbing lubes should be safe, but don’t use them to fool yourself and risk injury.

Even though numbing lubes and sprays are generally safe, they definitely aren’t necessary for oral or anal sex. If you practicego slow, and use lube you can avoid pain and discomfort without risking the use of numbing agents. Numbing lubes and sprays seem like a short-cut, but sex with your spouse isn’t a race! Take your time and enjoy yourselves.

What’s your experience with numbing sprays or lubes? Have you used them? Do you like them? Leave a comment!

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Sex Q&A: Overcoming Your Gag Reflex 4

This post is also available as a podcast: Podcast #005: Yes, You Should Swallow

Reader “T” asks:

I was talking to my wife the other night about swallowing during oral sex and it was very informative. During the talk I asked why she didn’t care for swallowing. She said that she has a strong gag reflex,  and there are times when I have a lot of semen and she gags or she can’t deep throat because of her gag reflex. She mentioned the possibility of using numbing sprays for her throat and I was wondering if you or Sexy Corte had any thoughts about that.

If only semen tasted like chocolate! Alas!

(Note: We are not doctors and we are not responsible for your health and safety.)

Let’s directly address T’s question first: yes, it it is generally safe to use numbing sprays to help overcome your gag reflex. However, in my opinion there’s a better option: practice.

I recognize that this advice may seem self-serving, as a husband on the receiving end, but the gag reflex can be desensitized over time by repeated exposure. This will be a bit of work for the wife and require some determination, but hopefully it will be pleasurable. The basic principle is simple: the wife should practice taking the husband’s penis into her mouth and throat as deep as possible, over and over. She should focus on herself and work at improving her depth and time, rather than trying to bring her husband to orgasm. Like any physical training, it will take time and effort to see improvement.

Wives, your reaction to this idea of practice and improvement may be along the lines of: screw that, he should be glad I go down at all! That’s fine, it’s up to you. I’m only pointing out that physical training will improve your gag reflex if you want to. It’s exercise you can even do while watching television!

Please use the contact pages for Sexy Corte and El Fury to send us your questions. We will only share your question if you give us permission, and we’ll never reveal your name or any other identifying information. You can ask questions anonymously, or use a free anonymous email server like Mailinator.

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How to Stop Hiccups 5

I got a terrible case of the hiccups when I was paying for dinner — I could barely talk to the server! I did everything I could think of to make them go away: drinking water, holding my breath, and so forth. Nothing worked. It was agonizing.

We finally paid, loaded the kids in the car, and started driving home. My hiccups were worse than ever when Sexy Corte whispered to me: “I’ll give you a BJ if you stop hiccuping right now.”

And the hiccups stopped immediately! I was doubly happy, and SC thought it was hilarious.

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Tips for Vagina-to-Mouth Transitions During Sex 6

It really turns me on when Sexy Corte  goes down on me during or after we’ve been having vaginal sex — it’s even more intimate than standard oral sex. It’s not that the physical sensations are any different on their own, but it feels naughty and edgy — even a little dirty. (Of course, it’s just as safe and not-dirty as when I perform oral sex on her.)

Oral sex is great foreplay, but it doesn’t have to be sidelined when you start the main event! Here are a few reasons you should introduce vagina-to-mouth transitions into your sex life.

  • Variety. It’s fun to use more than one position per sexual encounter, and if you’re willing to go from her vagina to her mouth with his penis (and not just the other way around) then you’re multiplying your options.
  • Easier oral sex. Oral sex can be a lot of work and they generally don’t lead to an orgasm for the wife, but vagina-to-mouth sex can improve that. After the wife has climaxed, the husband can finish where he wants, and if he wants to ejaculate in her mouth it won’t be as much work because he’ll already be stimulated from intercourse.
  • Easier clean-up. If you’re having sex in a public place, clean-up can be easier if he ejaculates in her mouth.
  • Contraception: If you’re using a condom for birth control, ejaculating in the wife’s mouth could be a more satisfying conclusion than finishing in the condom.
  • Teasing and edging. Switching between forms of stimulation can prolong a sexual encounter and drive the receiver crazy. Either spouse can be the receiver of the teasing, it just depends on who is in control.
  • Natural lubrication. If you don’t have lube handy — or don’t want to use it — then saliva can serve the same purpose, either to get things started or to help out later. (Unflavored lubes don’t taste good, so if you’re doing vagina-to-mouth you probably won’t want to use them anyway. Of course, there are flavored lubes.)
  • Edgy and naughty. Maybe it just sounds hot because it’s a little outside your comfort zone! Incorporate some bondage, shibari, or even use vagina-to-mouth play as a sexual reward.

And everything above applies to a husband performing oral sex on his wife, too! There’s no reason he can’t pull out and go down on her.

So what do you think of it? Do you play with vagina-to-mouth sex?

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Where Does the Term "Blow Job" Come From? 7

The term “blow job” as slang for oral sex performed on a man, or fellatio, pretty much rules the roost. There are plenty of other terms for the act, but “blow job” is by far the most common. It’s such a strange bit of slang: there’s no blowing involved, and though it can be a bit of work it’s an act of love, not labor. So what’s the deal?

Here are a couple of analyses that purport to explain the origin of the term — I’ll try to quote the less graphic parts. Click the links at your own risk, but the etymology is quite interesting.

The inestimable (and late) Christopher Hitchens wrote that “blowjob” is Victorian in origin.

The crucial word “blowjob” doesn’t come into the American idiom until the 1940s, when it was (a) part of the gay underworld and (b) possibly derived from the jazz scene and its oral instrumentation. But it has never lost its supposed Victorian origin, which was “below-job” (cognate, if you like, with the now archaic “going down”).

However, Chelsea G. Summers writes that no-one ever connected “blow job” with “below-job” until Hitchens wrote it. She digs deeper into the seventeenth century to inspect terminology used to describe oral sex. She decides that “to blow” has a long history as a euphemism for orgasm (i.e., to explode), and that “job” descends from many other labor terms used as sexual slang.

And it’s not just Americans: the English-speaking world at large has enjoyed a long, filthy history with “blow.” An explosion, a hard hit, or the act of producing a sound from a horn instrument, “blow” is already a versatile word, and slang takes full […] advantage of its flexibility. “Blow” meaning “fellate” dates to 1930, but the word has been doing sexy duty for centuries. “Blow” meaning to achieve orgasm came about in 1700; “blow” meaning to bring to orgasm showed as early as 1650; and “blow” meaning [sex] appeared in a 1644 edition of Mercurious Fumigosus, a weird, smutty zine-style newsletter produced by John Crouch, a Royalist journalist imprisoned during the British Interregnum. While other terms have lost their erotic luster with time, “blow” has held firm. Dudes have blown their loads only since 1993, but we’ve got more than three hundred years of people achieving orgasm with “blow.”

Sex slang through the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries was deep into play. People engaging in sexual intercourse would “dance on a rope,” “play at mumble-de-peg,” or “frisk,” while “larking” was the earliest slang term for oral sex. True, “job” as slang for [having sex with] dates to the early sixteenth century, and both “business” and “work” to the early seventeenth, but the sheer number of play terms vastly outweigh labor terms until the early twentieth century. Then, “job” proliferates—hand, mouth, brown, finger, rim, and non-specific “sex job” grow like mushrooms in the shade of “blow job.” In modern times, sex slang is all work and decreasing play, and “blow job” leads the way towards labor.

So there you go: two options for the history of “blow job”. “Fellatio” descends directly from Latin for “to suck”, but unless you really must discuss oral sex in polite company it seems unlikely that “blow job” is going anywhere anytime soon.

What do you and your spouse call it?

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Best Christian Sex Links of the Week 8

Spring is in the air!

How did we miss Lips Appreciation Day?

The clitoris is not a doorbell — For best results, I suggest touching everything else first, and only moving to the clitoris when she begs you to.

Admiring his manhood — Yes, men can have body issues, and yes, it’s pretty hot when our wives admire our manly bits.

How to Have “Vacation Sex” – Even When You’re Not on Vacation — Be prepared!

Sexual intimacy and grief — Intimacy with your spouse can be a powerful source of comfort and healing, when the grieving spouse is ready to receive it.

“Wives either feel loved or used” — “If they feel loved they can be okay with being valued for sex BUT if they don’t feel loved, they see it as being valued only for sex.”

What I Truly Believe About Men — a valuable mention of love languages, plus insight into how women view men. I guess we’re as confusing as they are.

Three oral sex techniques: Tip Top, Gummer, and Lip Gloss.

Sleeping naked will do wonders for your marriage — Wives, if you get too cold just buy a pair of thigh-high socks. That still counts as naked in my book.

We often don’t have time to link to every great thing that Jay Dee writes:

How can a lady feel turned on around her husband? — Plus tips for how to get in the mood in a hurry.

10 ways to signal “yes” to your husband — Don’t forget secret message panties and coins in a bowl. Or, you know, just use words.

Enjoy some time outside in the sun with your spouse!

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Sex Q&A: How Do I Get My Wife to Shave "Down There"? 9

This comes from reader “PL”:

Any suggestions on how to get my wife to shave “down there”? She tried once when we were first married, but she said it itched SO bad that she’d never do it again.

I LOVE giving her oral…but sometimes the jungle is unbearable.

I recently read that introducing new activities to your spouse is like “breaking in a horse”. The concept is that you try something a little bit at a time until it becomes comfortable. Then you go a bit further. Is that how to approach this, or…?

Her other two comments/objections about shaving are: 1) she would look like an adolescent (which I never thought about until she mentioned it, and that’s something I wish I could erase), or 2) that I must have seen the idea somewhere (porn or whatever). So I was quite disheartened because all I wanted was a nicer landscape to traverse… not anything weird.

Any help/suggestions/insight would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks for the email! You know, I understand because I also don’t like to shave all the way. However, I have found that if I remove everything except a “landing strip” it is a lot more comfortable. This is also called a “French” style, and it leaves a strip of hair visible in front. Hair is removed from the areas you need to clean, but left on the area where I find shaving to be most bothersome and itchy. It might be a good compromise for her. Like you said, she can remove a little bit of hair at a time based on her comfort level.

You should also definitely explain to her that hair gets in the way with oral — it can be very distracting, especially when it gets stuck in your teeth! I feel the same way when El Fury hasn’t shaved for a while and I’m licking his balls. As an added bonus, El Fury and I have both experienced greater sensitivity after we shave. Your skin feels so clean and smooth, your spouse’s touch or tongue feels amazing!

Please use the contact pages for Sexy Corte and El Fury to send us your questions. We will only share your question if you give us permission, and we’ll never reveal your name or any other identifying information. You can ask questions anonymously, or use a free anonymous email server like Mailinator.

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Put a Chair in Your Bedroom 10

We’ve written that your master bedroom is for sex (and part 2) and if you’re like most people, that’s probably where you do it the most. You’ve probably got all your fun sex stuff hidden away in there, ready for action… but maybe you’re missing one thing: a blowjob chair!

Of course, your bedroom chair isn’t just for oral sex. Chairs are very versatile pieces of furniture!

And you’ll find more fun things to do once the chair is in place! If you’ve got any more ideas, leave a comment.

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