We touched on this topic several months ago while writing about period sex, but it’s worth highlighting because we get so many questions about oral sex. You may be surprised to learn that the questions aren’t all from husbands who want more oral from their wives — we get similar emails from wives. We also get emails from wives (and husbands) who are lukewarm towards the idea of giving more oral to their spouse, and the number two reason given comes down to the feeling that performing oral sex is boring. (The number one reason is *drumroll* reluctance to swallow semen.)

So here’s a simple idea: make sure both spouses are being stimulated while one is performing oral! How can you make that happen?

  • Play with each other: The positions we call Old Faithful and New Faithful enable the husband to use his fingers or vibrator on his wife while she is performing oral on him. The Sixty-Nine position seems obvious thanks to pop culture, but it’s not very practical — the top spouse holds his/her body up for a long time while the bottom spouse gets buried and struggles to breathe. Better in theory than in practice.
  • Play with yourself: The husband can use his hand on himself while his head lies between his wife’s thighs. The wife can use her hand or vibrator on herself while she kneels and performs oral on her husband. If the giver is having fun I can virtually guarantee that the receiver will have fun.
  • Non-sexual stimulation: The stimulation doesn’t need to be sexual! Try a bifecta: watch your favorite show or read a book out loud while playing with each other. Bonus: here’s a new way to decide what to watch: whoever is giving oral picks the show. Your husband will discover a newfound love for romantic comedies.

Before you start, it’s important to set expectations for when each spouse is going to orgasm. Is the oral sex just foreplay? If so, then the receiver should hold off orgasm until the right time. Are you performing oral to completion? If so, then the giver should get a chance to have an orgasm also. (It’s super hot when Sexy Corte has an orgasm when I’m in her mouth, and I bet your spouse would enjoy that too!)

Do you have any other ideas for making the gift of oral sex more enjoyable to give? Leave a comment.

For whatever reason, Sexy Corte’s period is often one of the times in her cycle that she is especially amorous, which can obviously lead to frustration for both of us! The topic of period sex probably deserves its own post, but since we don’t have time to write it right now we wanted to share something new that we did a few weeks ago.

Actually, it’s not entirely new: we wrote about “Old Faithful” almost four years ago! What’s new is that we realized that we can do this position pretty effectively while Sexy Corte is using a tampon without making a big mess if we use a vibrator instead of my fingers. To refresh your memory on the position:

I lay on my back while Sexy Corte kneels over my body at a 90-degree angle with her legs spread. I play with her lady bits while she performs oral sex on me. I’ll use my fingers to play all around outside and inside her body (see: Zoom Technique) to the point that she usually loses focus and forgets what she’s supposed to be doing.

Old Faithful can be carried to completion and it’s one of the best positions for getting Sexy Corte off with my fingers. Sometimes she has a hard time reaching orgasm if I’m not inside her, and Old Faithful makes this possible. From my perspective, there’s almost nothing hotter than my wife having a powerful orgasm with me in her mouth.

Using a vibrator instead of my fingers makes the orgasm faster and easier for Sexy Corte (which can be very important when you’ve got kids), and there’s less movement to dislodge the tampon and make a mess. Sexy Corte generally has a better orgasm when I’m in her vagina (obviously), but having me in her mouth is more stimulating for her than when we’ve tried fingers or vibrator on their own.

As for me, I get some bonus fun: I love it when Sexy Corte has an orgasm while I’m in her mouth. Don’t get me wrong, her orgasms always feel great to me, but it’s a special treat for me when she climaxes while performing oral sex. It feels amazing physically, but it also drives me crazy mentally to feel and see and hear her pleasure while she’s going down on me.

There are several other things we do to make period sex work for us that we’ll write about in a later post, but we wanted to share this one now because it was so surprisingly fulfilling for both of us. Let’s hear your thoughts in the comments!

We hope you all had a Merry Christmas and are looking forward to 2018. To finish up the year here at Married Christian Sex, we want to share some emails we’ve gotten from our readers — mostly questions for Sexy Corte that have piled up! We love reading your comments and questions, so please shoot us a message (El Fury or Sexy Corte) and we’ll do our best to get back to you. As always, we won’t share anything on the blog without your permission, and we never share names or email addresses.

We especially love to hear from people who have been blessed by our blog! Husband “ONN” writes a very encouraging note:

We came across your blog about a month ago and started reading all the articles you have. We had a very good marriage and a wonderful sex life and didn’t think it could get much better than what it was. We have started applying some of the things we read and have stepped our marriage up to a whole new level. We have decided that we will try new things with an open mind to see how it feels and then decide if we like it or not. Now that you have opened our minds to some of the scripture it is easier to do some of things that are considered taboo and not feel like we are sinning or shameful. We are more relaxed and don’t miss a day without having sex at least once. Now our expectation is that we are having sex every night and we look forward to it. The article that started us was the one titled “yes you should swallow”. After reading that and showing my wife the article we began talking about it and left it up to her for the final decision. When she finally decided to do it I was amazed and very excited about it. This opened up our minds to trying new experiences and techniques. We have decided that as long as it helps our marriage and only involves the two of us we will try it and see if we like it.

Thank you for posting these articles and helping people have a more fulfilling sex life the way God intended it to be.  This is all I have time to write, it is time for us to go have sex now!!

Wife “GP” asks Sexy Corte about shaving:

I’ve been married for 6 years. I perform oral sex for my husband a good bit and we both enjoy it. However, I really want him to perform oral on me too. He’s mentioned it a good bit during intimate moments but I just brush it off. I’m a little embarrassed for him to because of my hair. If I shave, I break out in bumps bad. Any advice?

And SC replies:

Hair definitely gets in the way of oral! 🙂 I don’t shave completely because of the bumps, but leave a little ‘landing strip’ so that it doesn’t get rough.

Questions about shaving come up a lot, including from wife “IT” who includes some encouragement for us:

I’ve got a question about shaving. I’m using hormone replacement therapy (BHRT) that really improves my libido, but also causes my hair “down there” to grow faster. I like to keep it bare, but do I need a personal shaver or something?

Also, I just wanted to say how much I appreciate how candid you two are on your blog! I had never considered using a vibrator before… it had to be “wrong”. I had always been able to reach orgasm from my husband’s touch, but over time he has had to work harder and harder to get me there. After reading your blog we decided to use an egg vibrator, and we both love it! It’s easier for both of us, and the sex is great! I bet lots of wives would be more motivated for sex if they knew how much fun it could be.

We love these emails! SC responds:

Thanks so much for the encouragement! Our whole goal is to help married couples find joy in sex. I’m so glad our site has been a blessing to you!

Shaving is tricky, and everyone is different. I totally understand about the prickly thing, which is why I always leave a “landing strip” (which is like a little runway of hair where it would otherwise never totally shave smooth). I do trim that hair, but haven’t ever liked shaving it completely off. I hadn’t seen the personal shaver before, but if you don’t have luck with your razor it might be worth a try. I do just fine using my regular razor, and as long as I keep up on it every few days it works great. We have a small ledge in our shower that I can put my foot up on and that helps a ton with being able to see what I’m shaving, and push things around to get to the right spot.

You know, I used to think a vibrator or sex toys were “wrong”, but I think it’s where your heart is. A vibrator has completely changed our sex life, and it enhances our intimacy. My focus, even when using a vibrator, is on EF — my love for him, how he is making me feel. An orgasm is an incredibly powerful thing, and I’m so thankful there is a way I can experience that during sex. It makes me want my husband, not a vibrator!

Wife “LL” asks Sexy Corte about being dominant in bed:

My husband and I have been married 6 years and have a good relationship in general but our sex life is lacking at times, especially since he really enjoys me being dominant over him and using bondage and I struggle with being dominant and can’t really come up with anything creative to do so I just end up playing out basically the same scene over and over. I want to do better so he and I can both enjoy sex more. Any advice? Thanks for all you and your husband do. I really appreciate your website and all the articles you have to encourage Christian couples in their sex lives. This world needs it.

To which SC replies:

It’s great that you are willing to try this for your husband! Maybe start small and try to be dominant in other ways so that you build up some confidence for the bigger stuff. Grab him in a tight embrace and kiss him in an unexpected moment. Write a note telling him what you are going to do to him later (it doesn’t even have to be something bondage-related). Taking initiative in smaller things might help you when you are in those bigger moments. EF always likes the professor/student and pirate role-playing.

Husband “JY” asks how to help his wife enjoy sex more:

My wife and I have been married for almost two years. Before we were married I was not deep in my faith, I watched porn, and had sex. My wife knew this, and helped me become a better man. When we started to date I stopped watching porn, and we didn’t have sex until our wedding night. We did however dry hump and both of us would climax at relatively the same time. Since our marriage, I can tell that my wife doesn’t really enjoy/ get pleasure from sex. I’ve tried to talk with her, and she tells me that her pleasure is doing it for me. But I want her to enjoy it. When I bring up things like giving her oral or me receiving it she says that those things make her feel gross. We’ve talked and I have expressed my interest in expanding our sex life, but she doesn’t seem interested. I honestly just want her to enjoy sex the way that I do. She hasn’t had an orgasm for over two years, because I don’t believe she is stimulated during sex, and won’t let me try things that could stimulate her. I’m not really sure what else to do. I love my wife very much, and I know that god made sex something for husband and wife to enjoy, and I’m afraid she is missing out on such a pleasurable feeling and intimacy. Any ideas or thoughts from either of you would be very much appreciated.

SC replies:

If you and your wife have good communication, I would in a very non-threatening way ask her if she has ever had an orgasm. It’s possible she hasn’t. Ask if she would be willing to let you focus on her. There are a number of things you can try, but focus on her clitoris, not just penetration. It takes me a good 20 minutes of clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm, and that’s with EF starting with his hand and finishing with a vibrator. If EF uses his hand it’s probably more like 45 minutes. Use lube as well.  I would also try to pay attention to her cycle. Two weeks after the start of a woman’s period is when they typically ovulate, and that’s when sex drive is the highest. For me, it’s much easier to have an orgasm during this part of my cycle.

Wife “SL” asks how to learn what turns her on:

Hello! My husband and I have been enjoying your blog since we got married in May 2015. Our sex life isn’t awful (thanks to God blessing us with good communication), but it definitely isn’t what we know it can be. This is largely due to the fact that my husband has a large vocabulary of sexual things he likes and really knows what turns him on and I don’t. We have tried to explore lots of things and your blog has been very helpful, but I still struggle with knowing my likes and turn-ons. I think not comparing my sex drive/desires to my husband and expecting myself to be just like him is my biggest hangup. Any suggestions of how to explore and figure out what my turn-ons are? Questions I should ask myself? Books that might be helpful?

SC replies:

I think it’s ok if you don’t have a “large vocabulary”! I don’t think I will ever get tired of the standard, me-on-top to orgasm. We do that position at least twice a week and it still thrills me. So finding something that works really well and sticking with it is definitely fine. I’m hoping you know what gets you to orgasm best — and if you don’t, that is a matter of trying different things until you find something that works. For us, we were at least a year into marriage before we figured out what really worked for me. I also think throwing in the occasional new thing keeps your sex life exciting, and it sounds like your husband needs that. Since you are already good with communication (that is a great blessing!) talk about your expectations and what each of you can do to make sure you both have a fulfilling sex life.

You may also want to check out the “Would you rather?” game that we’ve posted, and make some index cards based on that list. It will help you and your husband discover new things.

That’s all the letters for now! We pray that God will bless your marriage, and use your marriage to be a blessing to others. Thanks for a fantastic 2017, and join us in the comment section below.

 

It’s (past) time for another roundup of Christian sex links! Check out these blogs, we’re sure you’ll find something you like.

Your wife doesn’t always know when she’s aroused — Her indications of arousal aren’t as obvious (to either of you) as is a husband’s erection!

Several links about initiating sex:

Wives, don’t be afraid of your husband’s manhood!

How to have “vacation sex” when you’re not on vacation — Be prepared and bring your own lock when you’re actually on vacation!

Your husband needs a girlfriend — Hint: it’s you!

Ten minutes and lube — Quickies alone don’t make a great sex life.

Talk about sex outside the bedroom — Interesting advice for preserving the tranquility of your sex room.

Submission and headship, with handy four-quadrant diagrams — Definitely hard concepts to understand in our modern culture.

“When I orgasm, I shake all over” — Intense, uncontrollable sexual responsiveness from the wife is really hot.

Memorable first thrust technique — “Many women, once aroused and full of anticipation for intercourse, consider the first thrust to be their favorite part of intercourse.”

Don’t miss the good part of her cycle — It’s something we’ve started planning around!

Take advantage of every opportunity to talk with your kids about sex — “When our kids are curious and comfortable talking about sex, we think they are too young and by the time we think we should talk to them about sex, they are embarrassed.”

Three posts with wedding night tips for virgin brides: “What do I do?”, making the mental leap from “no” to “yes”, and “how to I avoid pain?” — Also great for new husbands to read.

Is your spouse really showing you all of his or her sexuality? — Fear/avoidance of rejection is common, even in marriage. How can you assure your spouse that he or she can really share any desire with you?

Erotic wisdom in Proverbs 5 — Hint: “fountains”, “wells”, and “cisterns” are symbolism.

If you have any links you want to share, leave them in the comments!

We’ve been using the New Faithful position an increasing amount — especially in the morning — and I quickly discovered something that I really like: penetrating Sexy Corte’s mouth and vagina at the same time. We’ve done this a zillion times with Old Faithful, but it’s a very different experience when I’m on top and in control of the movement. To refresh your memory:

In New Faithful, Sexy Corte lies on her back with her head on her pillow and her right arm outstretched. I get upright on my knees, straddle her outstretched arm, and scoot towards her until my manhood is over her face. From this position she can perform oral on me and I can use my fingers on her how she likes, while she gets to relax on her back. It’s a great position for frenulum technique, tea-bagging, and zoom technique.

While on her back, Sexy Corte can turn her head sideways towards me and open wide, enabling me to thrust gently in and out of her mouth. This is super-hot on its own, but it gets even sexier when I use my fingers inside her vagina at the same time. Wow!

  • Positive feedback loop: When my fingers hit her just right, her moaning and groaning feel amazing on me. Talk about positive reinforcement… every wave of pleasure I give her gets sent right back to me.
  • Filling her up: The psychological high of “filling her up” in both holes is extremely arousing, like I’m engulfing all her sensory input at once.
  • Trust and submission: It’s a huge expression of trust and submission for her to let me thrust into her mouth, and I try to be extremely gentle with her. Sexy Corte’s willingness to be vulnerable and open with me is emotionally and physically sexy.

As I’m writing this, it occurs to me that I also find it very hot to kiss my wife deeply while we’re having sex, and that’s another form of oral/vaginal double penetration. I wonder if it would be fun for her to suck on my thumb or fingers while we’re in jockey position? Maybe something to try tomorrow.

Do you have any thoughts or experiences to share? Leave a comment!

Almost three years ago (!) we wrote about “Old Faithful”, so-named because it is reliable and one of our most frequent positions:

The position is pretty simple: I lay on my back while Sexy Corte kneels over my body at a 90-degree angle with her legs spread. I play with her lady bits while she performs oral sex on me. I’ll use my fingers to play all around outside and inside her body (see: Zoom Technique) to the point that she usually loses focus and forgets what she’s supposed to be doing.

The best part about Old Faithful is when Sexy Corte climaxes with me in her mouth. But, the worst part about Old Faithful is that SC has to do all the work. So, after extensive research we’re excited to announce a new position we’ve created: “New Faithful”!

In New Faithful, Sexy Corte lies on her back with her head on her pillow and her right arm outstretched. I get upright on my knees, straddle her outstretched arm, and scoot towards her until my manhood is over her face. From this position she can perform oral on me and I can use my fingers on her how she likes, while she gets to relax on her back. It’s a great position for frenulum technique, tea-bagging, and zoom technique. As an added bonus, I discovered something new that I like! Because her head is stationary and I’m free to move, I’ve realized that it feels pretty incredible for me to (gently!) thrust in and out of her mouth.

So there you have it: a new sexual position for you to try that no one in all of human history has ever experienced. Have fun!

We’ve seen some great posts over the last month or so, but haven’t had time to post them all yet… so here we go!

In Song of Solomon 5:1, God interjects and approves of marital intimacy by saying, “Eat, friends; drink and imbibe deeply, O lovers.” — This reminds me… I need to finish my long-running series about Song of Solomon!

Dear wife, you deserve a great sex life too! — If a husband wants better sex for himself, one of the best ways to get it is to focus more on his wife.

A huge list of things many husbands would like to try with their wives — also, be willing to be adventurous — wives, science says that you may not even know what arouses you.

Average penis size by country, and a helpful tip for a wife who wants to measure her husband surreptitiously. Husbands, don’t worry: women don’t seem to care as much about size as we do.

Enthusiastic sex = greater intimacy — we also wrote about the importance of enthusiasm.

More about frenulum orgasms — here’s our post about the frenulum. For him, also try prostate massaging.

Move mismatched sex drives towards better — sex and marriage take effort.

Why you should try doggy-style — and here are some tips for the doggy-style position.

How to make sex into a great workout — use all your muscles!

Sex toys for Valentine’s Day — we really enjoy our wedge pillows and remote-controlled vibrator.

Be visually generous — if your husband his feeling down, just ask if he wants to touch your boobs.

Oral sex survey results — every sex blogger’s favorite topic. Husbands and wives apparently want to give more oral sex than they currently do.

Overcoming fellare phobia, the fear of giving oral sex — “He was thrilled!” — Swallowing and Enjoying It. Semen doesn’t taste like chocolate, but hey, you can always add chocolate!

Ask your husband to choose your panties for the day — alternatively: secret message panties.

Podcasts:

Plus, 20 more great links from Forgiven Wife.

Whew, that’s a lot of stuff! If you’ve got another link to share, leave a comment.

Men often wonder what an orgasm feels like for women — there’s no way to directly share the experience, but the frenulum of a man’s penis apparently has very similar nerve endings to those in the frenulum of a woman’s clitoris. What’s a frenulum, you ask?

The frenulum of prepuce of penis, often known simply as the frenulum, is an elastic band of tissue under the glans penis that connects the foreskin (prepuce) to the vernal mucosa, and helps contract the foreskin over the glans.

You’ve got a frenulum in your mouth, too: it’s the elastic band of tissue under your tongue.

tongue frenulum

 

Hopefully that’s enough info for you husbands to locate the frenulum of your penis. Unfortunately the frenulum is often removed during circumcision, but the important nerves may still be present in the V-shaped nook under the head of your penis.

Once you’ve found the frenulum the rest is pretty easy: ask your wife to rub it or lick it until you reach orgasm. Here are a few tips to make the most out of your experience.

  • Light touch. Your wife should focus her touch on the frenulum and avoid stimulating the rest of your penis. She can use her tongue, one or two fingers, or her thumb, whichever is most comfortable for her. (Considering how long a frenulum orgasm can take to build up, she might decide to start with her hand and then finish with her mouth.)
  • Don’t squeeze. Refrain from squeezing your pelvic muscles — stay relaxed. As you get more aroused you’re going to feel a strong urge to squeeze, but squeezing will short-circuit the slowly-building orgasm and lead to a “normal” orgasm.
  • Lube. If your wife is using her fingers instead of her tongue, we recommend using silicone-based lube. Water-based lube evaporates pretty fast and she’ll have to keep re-applying it.
  • Communicate. Tell your wife what feels the best, but try not to beg for more intense stimulation. You’ve got to…
  • Be patient. Just like the clitoris, the frenulum builds up stimulation very slowly.The first time we tried this I wasn’t able to climax even after 45 minutes! The second time (after not having sex for 24 hours) I reached orgasm in about 10 minutes. (If you want to speed things up, you can cheat by squeezing your pelvic muscles.) As you do it more, you’ll learn how to reach orgasm from frenulum stimulation more quickly without cheating.
  • Return the favor. You may as well keep your fingers busy playing with your wife while she touches you! Your wife is hopefully pretty familiar with clitoral stimulation and will probably reach orgasm long before you do (if you don’t cheat).

Even though the stereotype is that men are more familiar with their bodies than women are, many men have little experience with their frenulum as a distinct part of their penis. Hopefully this technique will give some husbands and wives a new way to explore and enjoy the husband’s body! If you have any tips or questions, please leave a comment.

Update: Keelie Reason at Love Hope Adventure has posted a 10-minute video about frenulum technique. She’s right in saying that most men have no idea that they can have an orgasm this way, and it’s a great opportunity for a wife to show her husband something new about his body!

We’ve written a lot about how good sex is for your health, so it shouldn’t surprise you that sex is also helpful for reducing the risk and impact of atherosclerosis (the build up of fatty deposits in the arteries that can lead to heart disease and stroke).

According to von Borstel, exerting yourself between the sheets is one of the most beneficial exercises you can do for your heart. “As well as an entire cardiac workout, before and during intercourse there is a big release of hormones that have a protective effect on our cardiovascular system,” he explains.

An orgasm can release 50 different chemical messengers. One substance, oxytocin, the so-called cuddle hormone, triggered by affectionate physical contact, is proven to lower blood pressure, promote the healing of wounds and reduce stress.

Endorphin is another useful hormone released during sex – this helps to lower heart rate and blood pressure to the heart muscle during exercise. Meanwhile, both oestrogen, which is anti-inflammatory, and testosterone, which lowers cholesterol levels in the blood, receive a boost through sex, too. High cholesterol causes fatty deposits in blood vessels to attach to artery walls, causing clogging and arteriosclerosis, says von Borstel, who recommends having “as much loving sex as possible”.

As for garlic, it’s obviously the king of seasonings, but did you know that it’s neither a spice nor an herb? It’s technically an aromatic vegetable like its relation the onion — and a member of the lily family. Lilies? Where have we read about those before?

Song of Solomon 2:1-2

She

I am a rose of Sharon,
    a lily of the valleys.

He

Like a lily among thorns
    is my darling among the young women.

If wood is the ancient metaphor for the penis, the equivalent image for the female is the flower. The Lover’s member is a massive cedar, and his Beloved’s girly bits are a beautiful lily — compared to her, the other young women are thorns and thistles.

Eat up! (Although I grant that “lily” is a more appealing metaphor than “garlic” when it comes to a wife’s intimate parts.)

In addition to tasting great, eating garlic (and onions) can help promote the health of your circulatory system.

“Vegetables and fruits have secondary phytochemicals that have the same effect as different [heart protective] medications but not in a dose that is dangerous for your body,” says von Borstel. He cites ginger, onions and garlic as blood thinners which promote blood flow through vessels and improved blood supply to organ and tissues, and recommends grating a teaspoon of root ginger or two or three teaspoons of grated garlic into a glass of water a day to naturally reduce blood pressure.

“As long as you eat in a balanced way, it is no problem to eat these every day,” he says. Allicin, the key ingredient found in garlic and onions, is thought to act on the kidneys, changing levels of hormones and dilating the blood vessels. Research by the Institute of Food Research found that eating a 100g to 200g serving of onions (one to two onions) had the biggest impact on inflammation.

Eating a “lily” probably wouldn’t hurt either! Can anyone suggest a new heart-healthy bifecta that brings together sex and garlic in a fun and exciting way?

We get a lot of emails from readers asking questions, but I wanted to share an email from Ellie with a list of tips that work for her and her husband. Every marriage is different, but I always find it encouraging to hear from people who have healthy, exciting sex lives. Maybe something in here will give you an idea for edifying your marriage!

Here’s Ellie’s email, with light editing and a few links back to related posts.

These are just my opinions and what works best for me and my husband. We have been married for 12 years and are intimate literally everyday! And usually at least three times a day!

Overall

  1. You are husband and wife. Don’t be afraid to voice your desires. After all his penis has already been in you, I mean how more intimate can it get than that?
  2. Women are like ovens, it takes a while for us to warm up. Do something out of the ordinary, talk about what you’re going to do to her later, or just pull her to the closet and give her a passionate kiss. Girls, wear some sexy underwear or none throughout the day!
  3. Be conscious of her monthly hormones. Women are more likely to try more things when we’re fertile and hormones are raging.
  4. When you have sex, leave on a light! (Men are visual and love to watch.)
  5. Be vocal! Nothing sounds better the sounds of pleasure from your spouse.
  6. Try new positions! After 12 years of marriage we find new ones on accident! This past week his foot ended on my head pressing me to the mattress and believe or not it was amazing.
  7. Make date night or lunch a priority, especially if you have kids! If the kids can crash at the grandparents house take them up on EVERY opportunity!

Oral Sex

  1. Hygiene and shave: it will make it more enjoyable for both!
  2. Watch your diet. Fruits and lots of water will lead to better tasting experience for both. Stay away from asparagus and onions.
  3. If you want her to swallow make sure you are not going to give her a full load. More is not always a good thing in this department. And let her know how much you enjoy it.
  4. Women, practice with your fingers and don’t worry if you gag, I don’t think any man would complain! It actually excited my husband more! If you feel as if you might vomit take a break and concentrate on his friends below — some kisses and licks will do the trick. After you recuperate get back to it!
  5. Make eye contact with your spouse to create a very intimate experience.
  6. Sometimes women do not know how amazing giving oral sex to a man can look. Record it and watch it back together later!
  7. Husbands, don’t forget about her! Ask her where she likes it and let her grab your head to steer you in the right direction.

Anal

  1. When my hubby first asked I thought he was crazy. We both have high libidos and “that time of the month” seems like eternity. I never in a million years thought I would enjoy it, but now we both have had some amazing orgasms this way.
  2. Prep! Just like for any other intimate act, cleaning is essential! Eat less that day. About two hours before sex I always feel better with a water enema to make sure every thing is clean. This might be TMI but I also inject about a tablespoon of organic coconut oil in my anus, right before we begin. That way you won’t have to stop during foreplay to lube up. Plus coconut oil is a natural anti-bacterial! We have used it for years, and it’s great lube for the vagina, too!
  3. Foreplay, and lots of it! Take it slow when you are entering. Very slow! And don’t pound as you would in vaginal sex.
  4. Position: Laying face down and bottom up seems to be easiest for beginners.

Accessories!

  1. One word: Magic wand. She will orgasm uncontrollably and you won’t even have to move! Even better to add during sex. My husband says my vaginal contractions are amazing when we use this. She might ejaculate too so don’t be surprised, she is not peeing! Taste it! It actually taste like sweet water.
  2. Straps! No need to spend a lot of money. Get heavy duty ace bandages and tie them to the bed post. Our favorite position is when I lay on my back and he ties my feet above my head.
  3. Ben wa balls and kegels. It will make sex more pleasurable for both of you and the orgasms will be even stronger!
  4. Doggy style tummy strap!
  5. Chairs! Enough said! Let your imagination run wild.

Got a question for Ellie? Want to share some of your own tips? Leave a comment!

Please use the contact pages for Sexy Corte and El Fury to send us your questions. We will only share your question if you give us permission, and we’ll never reveal your name or any other identifying information. You can ask questions anonymously, or use a free anonymous email server like Mailinator.