Staying in a hotel is great! But less fun if you’re sharing a room with your kids. Fortunately if your kids are young you can still get in some adult activities after they fall asleep or in the middle of the night. Obviously you don’t want to disturb your precious little ones as they slumber, but you can’t be expected to keep your hands off each other for the whole trip, right?!

This isn’t rocket science, but here are a few tips for having sex while you’re sharing a hotel room with your kids.

  • Be quiet. Well duh. Bite your lips, and stifle your moans into your spouse’s neck.
  • Two queen beds. Obviously you don’t want to share a king bed with your kids while you’re getting it on.
  • Darkness is your friend. Turn off all the lights and close the curtains. Most hotel rooms can be made very dark, so do it. That way if the kids do hear something at least they won’t see anything.
  • Turn the temperature down as cold as possible. This keeps the fan going (to cover any noise you make) and it also keeps you comfortable while you’re writhing around under the covers.
  • Missionary position is good because you can do it under the covers and the movements required are pretty minimal. Girl-on-top positions will be much harder to conceal.
  • Or you can always do it in the shower with the door closed!

Unfortunately the need for stealth may make it hard for the wife to orgasm. Obviously this will depend on the woman, and if you have any tips for getting her off silently then please share them in the comments.