We’re pretty frugal and my hair is simple, so Sexy Corte cuts my hair for me on a regular basis. (I don’t blame her for not requesting that I return the favor.) I’m sure many wives do the same, so here’s an idea for making the chore a little more entertaining.
- Tell him you’ll cut his hair after the kids go to bed, and that he’ll get a special treat. Tease him all day, but don’t give away your plan.
- Sit him in the chair, wrap him in a towel, and then take off your top. Don’t be shy, take off as much as you want. He won’t complain.
- Tell him to hold still and keep his hands on the towel. He can look as much as he wants, but no touching!
- Give him a good show — stretch, twist, reach, and bounce in his face.
- When he’s squirming in agony, accidentally brush your breasts across his shoulder or face. Oops!
- When you’re done, bring him the mirror. “Do you like what you see? Would you like to see it from behind? Is my job finished? Are you going to give me a tip?”
- Proceed to your favorite flavor of chair sex.
I’m sure SC isn’t the only amateur barber! Does anyone else have a story to share about sexing up a chore?
Nothing says “welcome home!” like a warm embrace from your spouse. Travel can be frantic, and if you have to travel for work it can be a stress on your marriage. Sexy Corte and I are fortunate that we don’t have to travel separately all that often, but when we do the old saying definitely holds true: absence makes the heart grow fonder. Or, as Solomon wrote three thousand years ago:
Proverbs 13:12 — Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.
Whether you’re separated for a long time or just a couple of nights, there are lots of things that the traveler and the spouse at home can do to make the reunion extra special.
- Sexting. Nothing gets me and SC as excited to see each other as some flirtatious texting. You can be as graphic as you like with your spouse, but we usually focus on words and not images. Telling your wife what you’re going to do to her when you get home, or your husband that you need to feel him inside you is sure to prime the pump.
- No kids. It really depends on your logistics, but you can really get things going if the kids away or in bed when the traveler gets home. If the traveler is really missing the kids, the one at home can still get them ready for bed so that the traveler can see them before switching the couple time.
- Food. If the kids are in bed, Sexy Corte and I usually have sex before we make time for eating. But, however you sequence things, having some food ready for your traveler will always be welcome. After the kids go to bed you can have a stay-date to celebrate your reunion and have a grown-up meal, even if the kids had chicken nuggets an hour ago.
- Grooming. When I’m traveling I usually use the last night of the trip to shave my man bits. It’s somewhat time consuming and doesn’t need to be done very often, and we find that smooth skin makes our homecoming sex all the sweeter. You can read more at the link — husbands, if you haven’t tried it you’re missing out. Both spouses should make an effort to clean and prepare themselves for sex, before the traveler gets home if possible. Airplane travel especially feels gross, so wash your hands and face when you get off the plane and don’t walk in the door like a stinky slob.
- Naked greeting. I love it when SC greets me naked at the door when I come home. Sometimes she can’t — darn kids! — but it’s extra-special when she does. After several days of sexting and flirting and longing, being greeted at the door by a spouse who’s ready and eager for sex is the best.
- Bonus. If you make time to have sex right when the traveler gets home then you can do it again before bed. Bonus sex!
Do you have any tips for welcome home sex? Leave a comment!
XXX Church has a post with some tips for great sex in your marriage (thanks for the pointer, SC). There’s definitely no shortage of tips on the internet, but here are my top two from this post:
#1 Twice a week.
#5 NO More Excuses.
For #1, I think twice a week is pretty modest. I guess if you’re at twice a month then quadrupling that would seem like a bonanza (or a hassle), but really, this is a very low bar. Sexy Corte and I have young kids, jobs, hobbies, etc., and we do it 8-10 times a week. If that sounds crazy to you, then one of both of these is true:
- You don’t want to have sex that much
- Your spouse doesn’t want to have sex that much
If it’s both of you, then great. I’d still recommend having sex twice a week, but whatever. If you both want to miss out then that’s up to you.
If your spouse wants it and you don’t, then you need to check yourself before you wreck your marriage. Introspect. Maybe your spouse can “improve” something to increase your libido, but honestly, your lack of desire is primarily your problem to fix. So get on it. This is #5 above: no more excuses.
If you’re desperate for sex and your spouse isn’t interested, then maybe there are some things you can do to help the situation. Here are some basics:
- Hygiene. Seriously, are you clean? Are your sexy bits clean? Do you shower, or stink? How’s your breath? This is pretty basic, but it’s worth mentioning.
- Grooming. Do you make an effort to be attractive? Do you shave your face or legs (or balls)? Do you put on something sexy? Or do you expect your spouse to swoon for a slob?
- Attitude. Is your attitude crappy? Do you complain a lot or pick fights over stupid stuff? Are you grateful for your spouse, or bitter? Are you helpful and understanding, or dismissive and impatient? Are you like Christ?
- Enthusiasm. When you initiate sex are you demanding, resentful, whiny, desperate… or enthusiastic? Everyone loves to have fun, so be excited! “Want to try something crazy?” “Look what I just read on Married Christian Sex!” “I can’t wait till we’re alone together later….” Be flirty and fun. Build up anticipation.
- Pray! Yes, God cares about your sex life, and He wants it to be awesome. If it isn’t all you want it to be, then pray about it. Confess your sins, look inside yourself and change what needs to change. Pray that God would be at work in your spouse too. Pray that God would give you a great sex life, and that your spouse will want it as much as you. God works through prayer.
I’ve still got to write my post about enthusiasm….