We hope the winter weather isn’t getting you down! Here are a few links that might warm things up for you.

Dancing for my husband: finding my inner sexy — Sexy dancing is sexy, and the appeal is the enthusiasm as much as the optics.

She loves foreplay — If he isn’t enjoying foreplay too, maybe you’re doing it wrong. Check out Old Faithful or any of our sex games.

Be a better lover, go out of your comfort zone — Make the most of your sexuality, you only live once.

Use multiple choice questions to learn about your spouse — Great idea! Someone needs to put together a list of multiple choice questions.

Instead of saying, “What do you need from me in bed?” I say, “What is the most important thing from me in bed? A) Paying attention to a particular body part, b) letting you do things to me even if I don’t think I’m in the mood, or c) doing something outside my comfort zone?”

5 ways to flirt — I like the “code words” idea… reminds me of secret message panties.

4 ways to love your husband when he’s being unlovable — #4 is “seduce the dude”, which I can confirm is effective.

Go ahead, be that couple — A little PDA won’t hurt anyone.

Time and sex — Suggestions for being more direct, which may seem unromantic but could nevertheless be helpful in this busy age.

Leave a note saying “Sex for both of us till 10, sex for just you till 11:30, and don’t even look at me sideways after midnight.”

Sleeping arrangements when you’ve got kids — Your bedroom is your sex room, no kids allowed! When I was a kid, I rarely even entered my parents’ bedroom.

Multiple orgasms for men — Kegels, prostate control…. I should try this out, but I’m skeptical. Giving Sexy Corte multiple orgasms is super awesome though.

Wives with higher sex drives — A series with multiple parts. Did women used to have higher sex drives than men?

Love dialects — We’ve written about love languages and sex, and here’s an example of digging deeper into quality time and physical touch.

If you want to share a link or your thoughts, leave a comment!

(Click here to read the whole Sex in Song of Solomon series.)

Song of Solomon, Chapter 6.

In chapter 5 we read about the Beloved’s longing for her Lover, and we see her fantasize about his return. At the beginning of chapter 6 we hear the Chorus ask: where has your Lover gone?

Where has your beloved gone,
    O most beautiful among women?
Where has your beloved turned,
    that we may seek him with you?

And the Beloved responds that her Lover has returned, using flowers again as a sexual metaphor. What is the Lover’s garden? Where is he grazing? I think you know.

My beloved has gone down to his garden
to the beds of spices,
to graze in the gardens
and to gather lilies.
I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine;
he grazes among the lilies.

As a parallel to the Beloved’s praising of her Lover in chapter 5, we now see the Lover’s admiration for his Beloved.

You are beautiful as Tirzah, my love,
    lovely as Jerusalem,
    awesome as an army with banners.
Turn away your eyes from me,
    for they overwhelm me—
Your hair is like a flock of goats
    leaping down the slopes of Gilead.
Your teeth are like a flock of ewes
    that have come up from the washing;
all of them bear twins;
    not one among them has lost its young.
Your cheeks are like halves of a pomegranate
    behind your veil.
There are sixty queens and eighty concubines,
    and virgins without number.
My dove, my perfect one, is the only one,
    the only one of her mother,
    pure to her who bore her.
The young women saw her and called her blessed;
    the queens and concubines also, and they praised her.
“Who is this who looks down like the dawn,
    beautiful as the moon, bright as the sun,
    awesome as an army with banners?”

The Lover is overwhelmed when he meets his the eyes of his Beloved! As beautiful as the Moon and as bright as the Sun, she is the only one for him. You’ll also notice a technique common in Hebrew poetry: the passage ends by repeating the same metaphor it began with — the Beloved is as awesome as an proud army flying its banners. Definitely an image drawn from the mind of a military man.

In response to this praise, the Beloved is stirred with passion and… goes down… to see if there’s any budding or blooming going on…

I went down to the nut orchard
    to look at the blossoms of the valley,
to see whether the vines had budded,
    whether the pomegranates were in bloom.
Before I was aware, my desire set me
    among the chariots of my kinsman, a prince.

And she is overcome by desire to ride the Lover’s chariot.

The chapter finishes with a reflection of its beginning — the Chorus is now asking, where is the Beloved?

Return, return, O Shulammite,
    return, return, that we may look upon you.

And the Lover responds:

Why should you look upon the Shulammite,
    as upon a dance before two armies?

Sorry Chorus, my Beloved is currently unavailable. Two armies are dancing.

Sexy Corte is a dance move in the Tango. As the name implies, it is a very sexy move. It comes from a move simply called the Corte, which is when the dancers pause for a beat, and the woman extends her left leg out and looks over her left shoulder. The Sexy Corte starts with the regular Corte, but then the woman takes her left leg and very slowly slides it up and around her partner’s leg, and back down again. It is very sultry and seductive.

If you are looking for a way to spice up your marriage, I would recommend studying the Tango. El Fury and I took ballroom dancing for a while, and it was a lot of fun. The Tango was definitely our favorite. It is a spiteful, jealous dance that gives you the thrill of pursuing and being pursued. Especially once you learn a few moves and get over the awkward fumbling of beginning ballroom dancing, it is impossible not to feel sexy while doing this dance. It always made me want to rip El Fury’s clothes off right there. We don’t go to class anymore, but once in a while after the kids go to bed you can find us refreshing our Tango moves at home.