If you’re a husband like me, then you love giving your wife a huge, body-shaking, scream-inducing orgasm. There’s just about nothing better. Most advice for more and better orgasms focuses on techniques you can use in the bedroom, but some researchers have looked in a different direction: qualities of men who give great orgasms. Here are the male traits that lead to more and better orgasms for their partners, as identified by the study, along with some related links from our site.

The researchers wrote: “Orgasm intensity was related to how attracted (women) were to their partners, how many times they had sex per week and ratings of sexual satisfaction.”

“Those with partners who their friends rated as more attractive also tended to have more intense orgasms.”

“Sexual satisfaction was related to how physically attracted women were to their partner and the breadth of his shoulders.”

“Their partner’s sense of humor not only predicted his self-confidence and family income, but it also predicted women’s propensity to initiate sex, how often they had sex and it enhanced their orgasm frequency in comparison with other partners.”

It’s important to realize that all of these qualities are relative. You don’t have to be the richest, handsomest, funniest man in the world — you just have to display some measure of these qualities to your wife! Husbands, however you rate yourselves now, consider ways to move up a notch. Lay off the snacks. Lift some weights. Do some power poses in the bathroom before you go to bed. Buy some shirts that fit.

Some great posts to link to this week. I almost linked to a post about spanking that was pretty explicit, but then decided not to.

Gain confidence in the bedroom — Nothing is sexier than enthusiasm and responsiveness: embrace your sexuality!

“And felt grateful my husband and I had made love last night. God must have known I needed it.” — Making love makes more love.

Does the way you avoid sex add to the emotional disconnection? — “Not right now” is an acceptable answer sometimes, but it’s better to just say so than to passive-aggressively avoid sex.

Why did God make sex so hard? — (Haha, “hard”. Ok, I’m childish.) But why should something great be easy?

“It’s Getting Hot in Here” Sex Game — Who doesn’t like sex games?

Husbands, do you text with your wife from work? — SC and I text pretty much every day, but it’s mostly mundane rather than sexual.

Why do men think sex is a reward? — Because it’s something we want, and sometimes it’s scarce. I previously wrote that sexual favors can be one kind of prize for the winner of a sex game, but that idea is controversial. Should sex never be used as a reward?

Female anatomy and orgasm from PIV sex — “your ability or inability to orgasm during intercourse is because you were born that way”.

Ten 30-minute date ideas — Or spend five hours doing them all in a row!

On the topic of edging — Edging is fun and can lead to huge orgasms.

Got another link to share? Leave a comment!

Amy Cuddy describes how your body language can affect your hormones, thoughts, and behaviors. Tiny tweaks can lead to big changes.

The specifics of her experiment apply to feelings of power and confidence, so they’re at least indirectly applicable to sexuality. Here’s an excerpt that describes some of her results. The 20-minute video is worth watching in full.

So this is what we did. We decided to bring people into the lab and run a little experiment, and these people adopted, for two minutes, either high-power poses or low-power poses, and I’m just going to show you five of the poses, although they took on only two. So here’s one. A couple more. This one has been dubbed the “Wonder Woman” by the media. Here are a couple more. So you can be standing or you can be sitting. And here are the low-power poses. So you’re folding up, you’re making yourself small.This one is very low-power. When you’re touching your neck, you’re really protecting yourself. So this is what happens. They come in, they spit into a vial, for two minutes, we say, “You need to do this or this.”They don’t look at pictures of the poses. We don’t want to prime them with a concept of power. We want them to be feeling power. So two minutes they do this. We then ask them, “How powerful do you feel?” on a series of items, and then we give them an opportunity to gamble, and then we take another saliva sample. That’s it. That’s the whole experiment.

So this is what we find. Risk tolerance, which is the gambling, we find that when you are in the high-power pose condition, 86 percent of you will gamble. When you’re in the low-power pose condition, only 60 percent, and that’s a whopping significant difference. Here’s what we find on testosterone. From their baseline when they come in, high-power people experience about a 20-percent increase, and low-power people experience about a 10-percent decrease. So again, two minutes, and you get these changes.Here’s what you get on cortisol. High-power people experience about a 25-percent decrease, and the low-power people experience about a 15-percent increase. So two minutes lead to these hormonal changes that configure your brain to basically be either assertive, confident and comfortable, or really stress-reactive, and feeling sort of shut down. And we’ve all had the feeling, right? So it seems that our nonverbals do govern how we think and feel about ourselves, so it’s not just others, but it’s also ourselves. Also, our bodies change our minds.

Take-away: try some power poses before sex and see how it affects you and your spouse. Bonus points for posing together!