Sexy “Would You Rather”

We’ve linked to some great tools that can help you and your spouse discover new sexual activities that you might enjoy, and today I want to share a game-like tool that will help you and your spouse discover your preference levels for various sexual activities. The game is played like “would you rather…?”, with the addition of a tournament layer that will help your top preferences float to the top. Don’t worry, it’s easy.

(If you’re interested, the game is basically a pairwise preference assessment that uses a tournament rather than a matrix to generate a loose ordering. If you want to do the work, feel free to use the matrix method!)

Don’t be intimidated! Just follow these steps and you’ll be sharing your most intimate desires with your spouse in no time.

0. Be in a sexual mood! Consider each activity in its best light for you, rather than just how you feel at the moment.

1. Make your list of sexual activities and write them on index cards. The activities should include things you do now, things you want to try, and things you think your spouse may want to try. You can both contribute cards to the deck, or one person can write them all. For activities with a “giver” and “receiver”, be sure to specify which role the card is referring to. For example, don’t just write “oral sex” — you should have two different cards: “give oral sex” and “receive oral sex”.

2. Decide which spouse will go first — this person will be the responder until you finish the game and start over; the other spouse will be the asker. You don’t take turns during the course of the game.

3. The asker shuffles all the cards face-down to create a draw deck.

4. The asker draws two cards from the draw deck and asks the responder: “would you rather X or Y?” (Where X and Y are the activities on the two cards, of course.)

5. The responder picks one card over the other. Even if you like both or hate both, the responder has to pick one to win. The winning card goes into a new pile of cards called the winning deck, and the losing card goes into a new pile called the losing deck.

6. Continue steps 4 and 5 until the draw deck is empty. Then, the winning deck becomes the new draw deck — shuffle it, and repeat steps 4 and 5 until the deck is gone.

7. Repeat steps 4, 5, and 6 until you have one winning activity!

8. Since you haven’t shuffled the losing deck yet, the cards near the top of the losers should also be activities that the responder really likes. (Of course, a favorite might also have been eliminated early, but that’s just the luck of the draw!)

When you’re done, you have a few options:

  • Whatever activity won, do it!
  • Begin the game again by swapping roles.
  • Begin again and keep the same roles, playing through the losing deck to pick another winner.
  • Separate the “give” and “receive” cards to discover your favorite ways to both give and receive pleasure.

I know that’s a lot of steps, but hopefully you get the idea. To inspire you, after the break is a list of activities that I’ve written down for Sexy Corte and myself.

Note: Give/receive list items should be made into two cards, one with “give” and one with “receive”.

10 comments

  1. Boy am I dense! It took me a few times to read through the directions before I got your details.

    I understood the premise at first, but the details lost me for a bit.
    Overall I think this is a tremendous idea, especially for couples who are having communication issues.
    You two rock!
    Jerry Stumpf recently posted…Local 2 Hour FREE Marriage WorkshopMy Profile

  2. I live this idea. I actually found a quite comprehensive Google sheet that was all setup with a ton of different activities that both the husband and wife would rate (on different sheet, not having to share their ratings if they don’t want). The ratings were structured in how often you’d prefer to do an activity. So you would have 5 levels from ‘Never’ all the way to ‘all the time’ or something like that. Once both partners had completed the ratings, a push of the button would create a ‘random encounter’s weighting your own ratings and that of your spouse and exclude any ‘Never’ on both sides. I’ll see if I can dig up a link.

      1. Love to here how it goes. It’s quite an investment rating each item. My wife still needs to go through it so we haven’t yet tried it.

  3. The “game” by SPL has a lot of very “out there” sexual activities such as having another person or couple watch you have sex. There are also other “items” which your audience may find down right crude. SO be VERY WARNED by the events they suggest.
    Personally I like the questions offered through the free eBook on my “sex Tips” page which will also stimulate a lot of spicy dialogue.
    Jerry Stumpf recently posted…33 stimulating questions to tighten your marriageMy Profile

    1. One nice benefit is that you can both rate those as zeros and they will never come up for you. My wife and I have whole sections like that. You can also, if proficient enough, edit the items or add new ones. I’ve actually done this for ours. Note, there a number of hidden sheets. Displaying these will put you on the path of editing/updating.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

CommentLuv badge