This post is also available as a podcast: Podcast #005: Yes, You Should Swallow
One of the most gratifying aspects this blog is when we get feedback from a couple whose marriage has benefited from something we wrote. As follow-up to this post about swallowing, in the comments to this Q&A about swallowing and enjoying it, “K” writes:
K
So… I gave it a go and swallowed for the first time today. Thanks for the inspiration!Sexy Corte
That’s great! Thanks for letting us know. Was your husband excited?K
He was thrilled!It was an amazing way to bond- more than I could have imagined. You guys are awesome- don’t stop writing!!
That’s good to know that a wife has benefited from these Post’s as my wife is noticing this also and more willing to go for it
Let us know how things work out for you and your wife!
Wonderful. Heather is very much more willing having finally swallowed but I find it more satisfying to cum inside her. Knowing she is willing is a huge turn-on.
I agree — most of the joy of swallowing is mental!
Before we were married, my girlfriend swallowed me a couple of times and I loved it. After getting married, she refused and said it was gross. She’ll blow me but immediately go to the sink and spit me out. I watch videos of women swallowing and fantasize being with them. I feel that if someone says they would swallow me, I might would let them. Jeopardizing my marriage for sure.
You’re not the first man who has complained about a “bait and switch” from dating to marriage.
First of all, though, let me strongly encourage you to stop watching porn. I know you know you shouldn’t be doing it, so I will echo your conscience.
Second, I encourage you to talk with your wife directly. Many husbands get zero blow jobs, so don’t approach your wife with an accusatory attitude. Tell her that you appreciate oral sex and value your sexual relationship. Say something like, “I enjoy what you’re doing, and it would really mean a lot to me if you swallowed instead of spitting.” Explain your own reasons, but I suspect that your feelings on it are similar to mine: swallowing is extremely intimate and makes you feel accepted; spitting is a rejection.
Third, see if either of you are interested in ejaculating onto her body. That can be a good alternative.
Fourth, be thankful that you get oral sex :)
I agree that you’re above average getting to have an orgazm in her mouth. Most men either don’t get oral at all, or have to finish with Ms. Kleenex. Really takes the fun out of the ending when you are grabbing tissues and hoping none gets in her mouth cause she’ll be grossed out. A spitter is better than nothing.
What I love most about my wife’s lovemaking is knowing that she loves going down on me more than any woman ever has. I know it because of how she moans “uhuh uhuh!” while I drain into her mouth.
I have been “swallowing” since a teen. Now in my 60’s I find it very satisfying both for my man & for me!
I’m a Christian woman in my 40s, married with 3 kids and have an enjoyable sex life with husband. I want to please him and swallowing his semen has seemed like a big step to take. We enjoy oral sex a lot and I enjoy giving very much. We progressed to me first tasting and finally swallowing his sperm and it was very strange, like venturing onto new territory sexually. Like having sex for the first time, I was really nervous, wondering how it would taste and feel like. It’s such a powerful act, ejaculation, that I was afraid of “taking it’s full force” in my mouth. I’m glad I did, he enjoys it a lot and it has brought us closer together. Now I almost insist on swallowing every occasion I get! He likes how I embrace this seed of his that he produces, and I enjoy tasting his most intimate flavors and even enjoy the taste with the variation in taste and texture.
That’s fantastic that you and your husband are in such accord! Thanks for sharing your experience.
@ Rita:
That is a great account of how you worked up to be able to swallow comfortably. More wives need to be willing to give things a try and see how it works out. It really is not such a big deal after all. And, yes, swallowing can and does bring a wife and her husband closer. It is beautiful shared intimacy.
You are an awesome wife for having the desire to swallow! Your husband is very lucky. Thanks for sharing!
I have only tried swallowing my husband once and it was on our honeymoon about a year ago. It ended with me running to the bathroom to spit it all out lol and us having a funny memory we have cherished since then. After reading this blog and these articles, I wanted to try again. Same results. I just can’t bring myself to swallow. We laughed again, but I apologized for just not being able to do it. I asked my sweet husband if swallowing is actually important to him, because if it was I would keep trying. His response was that it doesn’t matter to him if I swallow or not. He could care less. And I mean I really tried to get a yes out of him, but he honestly does not care. So I just wanted to add that while I’m sure most men prefer their wife to swallow, not all do, or not all men care as much as implied in the post and comments. When I offered to try swallowing again, his face did not light up like someone who had been suppressing the secret desire to do so and was suddenly given permission. It lit up like a husband about to get a blow job from his wife.
Thanks for sharing your experience! Every person is different. Good on you for wanting to please your husband and for having great communication with each other.
I wish my wife would try just once. We are cristians and she barely performs oral sex. My hat off to you for at least trying.
My wife has been willing to swallow when she gives me oral sex, perhaps because from day one I have asked her to share the taste with me in kisses afterwards. How can I ask her to swallow if I’m not willing to do the same?
Comments?
This article is great, and now if I could just get my wife to gain some interest regarding OUR sex life as a couple. Taking an interest sure would make OUR lives better all the way around. She claims to be a Christian, but she is one of those boring christians from back in the early 1915’s kind of boring. I have some seriously talented love making skills and she does not even care about a quality sex life let alone finishing a blow job to the point of swallowing. What does a man do when his wife has been ruined regarding what is and what is not a healthy sex life for married couples and in my opinion christians should have a better sexual experience than non-christians. My prude of a Christian wife needs some help with her thinking when it comes to marriage and having a memorable experience regarding what is and what is not a quality sexual relationship with your significant other. I truly have lost all hope regarding this subject, we are never going to be even remotely close to what we can be. I lLOVE eating her out and would do it any time she wanted but put the shoes on her feet and they are not even close to the right size. It makes me sad and mad as hell to be honest. Lost and confused about how it works for health concious couples, when only half of the relationship cares?!?
Hi Mitch, it sounds like you’re very frustrated and I can understand why. I know it can be helpful to vent on the internet, but as a practical matter you will probably develop more intimacy with your wife if you restrain your frustration when you talk with her. I am willing to bet that she is frustrated as well.
We believe that it is God’s will for every married couple to have a satisfying sex life. Have you been praying for it? I’d recommend talking to God at least 10x as much as you talk to your wife about sex. It’s not my place to judge you, but I will say that when you use words like “ruined” to describe your wife and “seriously talented” to describe yourself, you should consider whether you are approaching your marriage with the level of humility required for intimacy.
Since you posted here, I feel at liberty to give you some advice. Being eager to perform oral sex on your wife is great, but let’s take a broader view for a minute. Consider that the Bible uses marriage as a picture of Christ’s love for the church, and then read Philippians 2:1-11. Don’t just read it once… read it three times a day for a month. Meditate on Christ’s humility.
I believe that your sex life with your wife can be great! You can’t control her, but you can control you. I prayed for your marriage just now. Please let me know how things develop.
Hear, hear brother!
El Fury frequently replies with ”
We believe that it is God’s will for every married couple to have a satisfying sex life.”
I could not agree more. And our “church” will pay lip service to this but do absolutely NOTHING beyond that. Basically everything is man’s fault. Well to this I say you can lead a horse to water, it takes two, pick your cliche’.
I didn’t see how long you have been married, but for me it is 35 years, now, of “Holy Deadlock”.
I have tried it all at one time or other over the decades of misery and none of it has worked. When I tried the “take the pressure off” advice it was over 6 months before she even noticed we hadn’t had sex in a while then she accused me of cheating. I asked her when because I all I did was work, commute, sleep and work on her never-ending list of “projects” that I swear she dreams up to try and make me to exhausted for sex. To which I told her ain’t NEVER going to work because I am a MAN. I could be in a COMA and still want sex. HA!
She even turns down “freebies”. Yep. Lay back and enjoy is met with “not interested”.
I don’t know what else to do but hope that my cancer comes back and finally grants me release from this hell-on-Earth everyone else calls “wedded bliss”! HA! Or even better a nice quick heart attack.
Before I was married I always hoped I would die in the sack. One last romp with my “loving” wife.
El fury what this guy is trying to get at is a common “Christian” problem. The only sex education the “church” is peddling is DON’T. I have even told preachers I don’t want to hear any more man bashing without also covering “do not deny” for the women as well. I have heard the “christ loved the church” sermon at least once a month for years. I cannot recall a single one on Proverbs 31 or ANY other passage that would hold wives feet to the fire. And NOT a single one on Song of Solomon. Ever. Not even in a “marriage” class. It is like they wish it would go away.
We cannot fight for a decent marriage and “city hall” too! I am exhausted but not too much to turn down a romp if “the miracle” happens. HA!
I hear you. Not every church is like that. And even aside from your church, you and your wife can study and read together! For example, check out “Sheet Music” by Dr. Kevin Leman.