Q&A: Mutual Masturbation and Finishing on Her Body

Reader “E” asks:

My wife and I have been reading your blog for a couple months and we are fans of your style. My wife and I recently introduced mutual masturbation into our relationship. We both enjoyed it but felt a bit out of our comfort zone. We were wondering what you and Sexy Corte’s take on mutual masturbation is, both from a Biblical and enjoyability standpoint.

At the risk of being overly graphic: We recently introduced masturbating to orgasm together, in front of one another. It was actually not something we planned, we were engaging in foreplay and she began touching herself and asked if I liked what I saw. I did and decided to go along with her idea and we both ended up finishing together. We were discussing afterword and we both agreed we enjoyed it, but she expressed some awkwardness about having me finish on her (rather than inside as usual).

I think I would enjoy working this “into the rotation”, but it certainly isn’t a replacement for sex. I don’t know how I feel if she’s not comfortable being finished on. I told her I would find it extremely fun to finish on her breasts but she seems uneasy. This confuses me because we both regularly engage in oral sex and she has been finishing me in her mouth for some time.

I suppose why we are really reaching out is how to handle the awkwardness and issues with where to finish, as I don’t think I’d be totally game for kleenex/towel/shirt etc.

There are at least two topics here, so let’s take them one at a time!

First: mutual masturbation, is it wrong? I think the answer is clearly no, there’s nothing wrong with you and your spouse masturbating together, as long as the activity is consensual, mutually satisfying, and done in faith. Sexy Corte and I recommend that you don’t let mutual masturbation dominate your sex life with your spouse — there’s nothing wrong with putting it “in the rotation”, but we think it’s still important to frequently engage in intercourse.

Second: where to finish? Semen is a very powerful symbol and I completely understand your reluctance to ejaculate into a towel. If your wife enjoys oral, then one obvious suggestion is to finish in her mouth and ask her to show it to you on her tongue before she swallows. However, if the visual aesthetics of finishing on her body is specifically important to you, then there are a few ways you might relieve her anxiety.

  • Do it right before she’s planning to shower anyway.
  • Give her a washcloth to hold before you get started.
  • Ensure she’s in a position that feels “safe” — laying on her back might be more comfortable than kneeling in front of you.
  • Promise that you won’t get it on her face, hair, eyes, or wherever she’s sensitive about.

As for enjoyability, your mileage may vary. Until we received your question, Sexy Corte and I had never experimented with me ejaculating on her body — thanks for bringing it up!  So we did it, but honestly it wasn’t a huge turn-on for either of us; it’s more pleasurable for both of us when I ejaculate inside her. The sight of her ready and willing to receive my semen was very sexy, but ultimately the experience was nothing special. Still, husbands are visual creatures, and your wife should be the pinnacle of sexuality in your eyes, so it isn’t surprising that many husbands find it intensely erotic to ejaculate on their wives. Nothing wrong with that!

Finally, I must add that I applaud you and your wife for experimenting outside your comfort zones.

Please use the contact pages for Sexy Corte and El Fury to send us your questions. We will only share your question if you give us permission, and we’ll never reveal your name or any other identifying information. You can ask questions anonymously, or use a free anonymous email server like Mailinator.

8 comments

  1. After 15 years of marriage my wife and have become more open and liberated in our sex life. Much of this has been due to dealing with issues and brokenness both individually and collectively. Some of this is due to having an adventurous spirit and a willingness to talk and experiment. Certainly having the security of Christ at the center of our marriage is a major factor. One of the interesting results of this process has been my wife’s relatively recent intense interest in the visual experience of sex. She now finds it very arousing to watch me lube up or masterbate for her and she frequently asks for it during foreplay. We find mutual masterbation to be a big thrill because we can gratify each other visually while still having the physical stimulation. My wife had to develop a relaxed attitude about her body and needed some reassurance from me before getting there. On a couple of occasions I have finished on her chest which she really enjoyed. I think it was actually much more of a thrill for her and she orgasmed with me. She gets so turned on that she needs more orgasms from me manually after I gently clean her up. If the wife is a visually stimulated lady, she may enjoy watching her hubby ejaculate in a variety of ways. I think it’s worth discussing and a spice that might add some extra flavor to a couples sex life.

    1. That’s a great story, thanks for sharing from your marriage.

      It seems that most women aren’t as visually stimulated as most men, but I’m sure there’s a subset who are. Sounds like it works out great for you two.

    2. This is something both of us have incorporated into our marriage of 23 years. I did this for the 1st several years and I was doing it with my wife not around. Then we finally started doing it together after about 7 years. She uses an accuvibe and sometimes a silver 7 inch insertable vibe which she is still a bit apprehensive about using. But it is so incredibly sexy watching her penetrate herself and making herself cum. She encourages me to do it now as I have her in mind. We have read articles on the health benefits of masturbation and we celebrate May which is Masturbation Month and try to celebrate Masturbation Monday’s… Just do it! I can totally relate to wildcat post…

  2. Mutual masturbation is a staple in our marriage bed of 45+ years. Both of us enjoy the dual delight of visualizing and hearing each other ramping up our pleasure. My pleasure builds her pleasure and vice versa. We vary our routine. Sometimes we’ll edge repeatedly until one or the other deperately needs release, and then engage in PIV. Or we may assist each other to full release or take over for the other to reach full release. Any of these techniques of mutual masturbation have created increasing freedom and intimacy for us. Also, there are times during PIV that either my wife gets too sore or lubrication does not provide enough friction, so I’ll masturbate to an O or she will do so for me.

    We’ve learned to use a towel under us, given both our ability to ejaculate (she produces FE regularly) so we never worry about the mess, in fact, we enjoy the mess. We also enjoy the options of where my ejaculate ends up: inside her, in a sock, on her, or on both of us – something we have come to enjoy a lot of late. We engage in our masturbation and enjoy my ejaculate with freedom and delight – an important and sacred principle.

    1. Nicely said the couple of 45 years…keep it up! Masturbation when incorporated properly can be such a great experience with and for each spouse. Remember to celebrate May. We try to average at least 1 per day between us for the whole month. It sure does get tougher the older we are getting.I think several years ago we had over 40 between us and still were able to have sex. My wife turns me on.

  3. This is something both of us have incorporated into our marriage of 23 years. I did this for the 1st several years and I was doing it with my wife not around. Then we finally started doing it together after about 7 years. She uses an accuvibe and sometimes a silver 7 inch insertable vibe which she is still a bit apprehensive about using. But it is so incredibly sexy watching her penetrate herself and making herself cum. She encourages me to do it now as I have her in mind. We have read articles on the health benefits of masturbation and we celebrate May which is Masturbation Month and try to celebrate Masturbation Monday’s… Just do it!

  4. This is my favorite and important part of the blog. It is important wives do this for their husband!…
    “If your wife enjoys oral, then one obvious suggestion is to finish in her mouth and ask her to show it to you on her tongue before she swallows”

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