Turn-offs

We talk a lot about sex and what turns us on, so I thought it would be good to address the flip side of that. I want to say first that this is not a retaliation post directed at El Fury.

  • Swearing/vulgarity – This is very unattractive for both men and women. I have always appreciated that El Fury doesn’t swear. He doesn’t need obnoxious filler words to express what he is saying. Now, in the right moment, talking a little dirty can be pretty sexy. Choose those moments wisely.
  • Low self esteem – There is a difference between this and humility. I think you can still be humble and have confidence.
  • Arrogance – While low self esteem is unattractive, don’t go over-board. Cockiness is just as bad. Again, a quiet confidence is very hot. From a woman’s perspective, It assures me that you are going to be able to make good decisions for our family, as well as take charge in the bedroom. I am sure this is just as unattractive on a woman.
  • Rejection – I am an affection giver. I frequently like to give hugs, pats and kisses to El Fury whenever he is within reach. If he is working in his office I like to give drive-by affection. On occasion if this isn’t well received, I feel a sense of rejection. It makes me uninterested in later sexy time. If you can’t accept a peck on the cheek now, why should I want to engage when it’s convenient for you? You should never be too busy that you won’t welcome a love pat from your spouse.
  • Disrespect – I am disappointed at how I see people treat their spouses sometimes. The way they talk to them or about them can be very disrespectful. No one will respect your spouse more than you do.
  • Take a shower! – Even if you can’t smell yourself, your spouse can. Plus, there is nothing better than the feel of clean skin on skin.
  • Laziness – It means a lot when spouses help each other out.

Next time your spouse isn’t acting very amorous towards you, stop and think if you’ve done something to turn them off. Then figure out a way to turn it back on!

2 comments

  1. I’m glad to see you and your husband sharing writing responsibilities on this blog. It works well on Sex Within Marriage and I see no reason why it won’t here. I like that you do separate posts too. I like you female and wife’s perspective on things. Rejection is so easy for men to be guilty of. Since we are so task oriented and not often good at multitasking (really don’t like that term) that drive-by affection.can easily be received as disrupting to the process and we tend not to invest ourselves in it emotionally. I don’t mean we do that in a highly cognitive way with any real intent behind it, but that is how our brain perceives it and processes that event. “Yeah, okay fine. Love you too,” at best. It takes much conscious effort to break that cycle. As a wife you don’t want to ask, “Can you stop for just a second and tell me you love me or appreciate what I just did?” but that is what you want. If you have to ask for it though, I has no value. UNLESS he catches himself and offers a very sincere apology acknowledging his unintentional slight.

  2. I love that SC writes on here too! Our posts and discussions about them (before and after) have already led us to a bunch of great conversations. Thanks for your comments!

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