“How Do I Get My Wife To” / “How Do I Get My Husband To”

Google’s autocomplete function gives us some insight into what husbands and wives want from each other. The prompts in the pictures below reflect the most common things that people search for based on the words that are already entered. When you go to Google and start typing “how do I get my wife to” here’s what Google prompts you with.

Except for “lose weight” and “shut up”, all these suggestions indicate that husbands long for deeper intimacy with their wives. To be honest, based on emails from our readers, I thought the suggestions would all be about oral or anal sex! Are you surprised?

When you start typing “how do I get my husband to” Google leads you to:

The suggestions for wives are more diverse. “Stop drinking” and “stop cheating on me” certainly reflect two of the most harmful behaviors for marriage. “Leave” is just very sad. “Dominate me” is surprising as the only sexual topic to make the list — I would have expected something like “give me more orgasms”. The rest are very similar to what husbands want: deeper intimacy, attention, and love.

A few of these suggestions may seem amusing, but they reflect heartfelt pleas for help from a husband or wife, thrown into the ether, hoping for an answer from the the faceless, anonymous internet. There’s some good information on the internet (like here!) but there’s one resource that’s even better: prayer. If you’ve found our website via a search like the ones above, we encourage you to bring your need to God, who can actually do something about it. He wants you to have a great marriage and a great sex life with your spouse! I wonder what an “autocomplete” for prayer would look like?

If you have any other “how do I get my wife/husband to” questions, leave them in the comments!

19 comments

  1. How do I get my husband to stop being so freaked out about getting pregnant so that he’ll ejaculate inside me. He’s only done it once in the last 10 years, and that’s because I begged. Between NFP and a diaphragm, he should be ok with it, but he’s not. Everything else is pretty great, but I hate being treated like my fertility makes me a freaking IED

    1. Do you want to have (more?) babies? If not, you might consider a vasectomy or tubal ligation for permanent birth control.

      1. No we don’t want any more kids. We have adolescent children and I’m approaching menopause. We’ve both agreed surgical procedures are off the table. NFP is the form of birth control we agreed on. I didn’t agree to withdrawal as birth control but he does it anyway. And besides, if the Lord wanted us to have more children, it would happen. No man made efforts could stop that!!

        1. Well, I get where you’re coming from… but realistically, natural family planning and diaphragms are not very reliable birth control —- and neither is pulling out! If you don’t want more kids, I can understand why your husband is anxious. Why not address the underlying issue? He’s worried about getting you pregnant, and that’s a reasonable fear. What do you think?

          1. Would be curious why you don’t think NFP/diaphragm combo is realistic birth control, as it worked for us for years, before we switched to trying to conceive… many people confuse NFP with the rhythm method (every pamphlet I’ve ever seen at the gyno for instance) so there’s a lot of misinformation.

            But to the commenter, I might suggest ALWAYS using a diaphragm (I assume you use spermicide as well?) not just during your fertile window based on NFP.

          2. Basically because NFP and diaphragms are harder to use correctly than, for example, hormonal birth control or condoms. Many methods are very effective if you use them consistently and correctly, but some methods are much easier than others to use consistently and correctly.

  2. “all these suggestions indicate that husbands long for deeper intimacy with their wives. To be honest, based on emails from our readers, I thought the suggestions would all be about oral or anal sex! Are you surprised?”

    No, I’m not surprised in the least. Most men have an extraordinarily large capacity for love. The masculinity of men is misrepresented by mainstream society and therefore a lot of women are confused about some fundamental traits of their men.

    1. Yep, I think you’re right. I also think that a husband’s desire for greater intimacy often looks like a desire for more sex. Men seem to derive intimacy from sex, whereas women seem to be more sexual when intimacy is already high.

  3. Ill bet there are more searches for more explicit things like oral and anal, but a couple years ago google switched their algorithms…its not supposed to allow explicit suggestions to protect kids.

    Similarly, you’re not supposed to get explicit images returned unless you include certain key words. So if you type “blow me” you get memes but nothing explicit, but you add the word “porn” to it and it takes off the filter.

    I like where you went here, just not sure its accurate 🙄

    1. To James,

      I believe it is accurate. Having been married for 30 years, been researching, blogging and following blogs for almost 7 years, plus intimate relationships, the majority of men, “…have an extraordinarily large capacity for love. ”

      To put an even more positive spin, I think it’s awesome that if a guy wants to switch out some vanilla and add some different “colours” in their sex life, he’s willing to do the research to figure it out!

      1. I don’t disagree! I do agree that men want more intimacy, etc. And i can understand searching on google to try to reduce rejection to get it.

        I only meant that EF seemed shocked other topics weren’t there based on his email quantity, and i was trying to explain why it might not be showing. I’d love to see the real data!

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