We’ve written about how make the most of the size you’ve got, but today we’ll discuss how deeper isn’t always better. Shallow penetration is a fun rest-stop between foreplay/outercourse and deeper sex, so don’t speed past without checking it out. There are lots of ways to have fun with shallow penetration, and even some definite advantages.

  • That feeling when it goes in: The moment of initial penetration is amazingly intimate, physically and emotionally! We call it “burrowing in” when I’m on top, and I use tiny thrusts to gradually work my way inside. The feeling of my wife’s body softly yielding to my penis is indescribable. With shallow penetration, you can keep repeating this experience over and over.
  • Where the nerves are: 90% of the nerves in the vagina are in the first one-third of the depth. Similarly, the head of the penis has more nerves and denser receptive fields than the shaft. (The head of the penis has about the name number of nerves as the clitoris.)
  • Last longer: Stimulation on the head of the penis feels great, but it often isn’t enough to lead to a quick orgasm. Orgasm tends to be accelerated by squeezing pressure around the shaft, especially towards the base. Shallow penetration that focuses stimulation near the head can be a useful technique for delaying orgasm.
  • Reach her clitoris: When your bodies aren’t mashed together it’s easier for the husband to reach his  wife’s clitoris with his thumb or a vibrator. Shallow penetration leaves enough space for the husband to drive his wife crazy!
  • More possible positions: There are a lot of positions that just don’t lend themselves to deep penetration, mostly because your pesky legs get in the way. You’ll enjoy that crazy new position more once you realize that you don’t have to finish that way — you can transition to a more traditional position to achieve orgasm.

So what are some ways to enjoy shallow penetration?

  • Shallow thrusts near the vaginal opening are a great way to edge, and will eventually drive you both crazy. Who can stand it the longest? Make her beg for it!
  • In and out: While thrusting or riding, let the penis withdraw completely from the vagina, letting the head nestle just between the vaginal lips. Let the head slip in and out, repeatedly recreating the feeling of initial penetration.
  • Explore the territory outside the wife’s vagina. Use lube if necessary and rub the husband’s penis around her clitoris, lips, and inner thighs. Great motivation to shave your vulva and penis/balls.
  • With the wife on top she can rub her lips and clitoris over and around her husband’s penis, stimulating herself and the husband’s shaft and frenulum in between bits of short and shallow penetration. The wife can also gyrate her hips with just the head of her husband’s penis inside her, giving him a unique form of stimulation.
  • Use your hand to stimulate your wife’s clitoris while thrusting. Alternatively, in doggy style the wife can stimulate herself while the husband focuses on varying his thrusts to build up the tension.
  • Surprise deep thrusts: Whoever is on top can throw in a nice, hard, deep thrust every once in a while just to change things up, and enjoy the gasps of pleasure from their spouse.
  • Grab her hipsEven when the husband is on bottom, he can grab his wife’s hips or butt to hold her up and control the depth of penetration. If you love to hear your wife moan in desperation, keep her shallow when she’s expecting deep and you’ll get it! Just make sure your timing doesn’t ruin her escalation to orgasm.

What do you do to enjoy shallow penetration in your sex life? Leave a comment and let us know!

Happy Autumn! For Sexy Corte and I, this is our favorite time of year. October weather is amazing, and the holidays roll over you in an avalanche of fun — Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year. Good times.

But, oh no! Autumn isn’t all fun and games. Married couples face two serious challenges to their sex lives in this time of year. Yes… Autumn marks the end of the glorious summer penis and the beginning of the dreaded winter vagina! These are serious marital issues that you might not even have known about, but don’t worry, we’re here to help. First, let’s analyze the problems.

Wives, I’m sorry to tell you, but you’re going to have to say good-bye to the summer penis you’ve been enjoying for the past few months.

Summer penis is an elusive phenomenon that answers to the sway of the seasons. No barbell can boost it; no foodstuff can fill it. Summer penis is a temporary dick fluctuation that, thanks to the heat and warmth, gives you a months-long leg-up on shaft size. It’d be like if a woman’s boobs suddenly got huge from May to August.

But now it’s gone, and you’re going to have to make do with your regular non-summer penis!

And say hello winter vagina.

Chilly weather can make our lips chapped and skin dry – so Vaseline soon becomes a beauty staple in the winter months.

A midwife has now issued a warning to women as apparently this “drought” can extend to EVERY area of our bodies, causing ‘winter vagina’.

Mary Burke, a former NHS midwife and senior clinical nurse at the London Bridge Plastic Surgery & Aesthetic Clinic reveals the reasons why this happens.

“Dry autumn and winter air depletes moisture from our bodies, leaving our skin dehydrated and cracked, and our sinuses parched,” she said to The Sun.

“And while it’s an issue few will want to discuss openly, our vaginas can enter ‘drought mode’ during this time, too.

“When we spend a lot of time in air conditioned rooms, or with the heating on, we’re living in air which carries very little moisture.”

What’s a married couple to do in these harrowing circumstances? If only there were a way to warm up your penis and moisturize your vagina at the same time.

Well here are a few ideas.

  • Have sex in the water. Taking a bath or shower together is the quickest way to get things warm and wet.
  • Leave the bathroom fan off. If your bathroom is connected to your master bedroom, leave the fan vent off when you take a hot shower. The heat and humidity from the shower will permeate to your bedroom and improve the atmosphere. Using the vent wastes all that precious heat and humidity!
  • Crank up the heat. Yes, it’s expensive to turn up the thermostat all winter, so just crank it up for an hour before you have sex. Don’t be shy — turn it up high enough that instead of shivering, your wife will be eager to take off her clothes.
  • Humidifier. When you turn up the heat, you’ll also want to use a humidifier to increase the moisture in your bedroom. A cheap hygrometer can be used to optimize the humidity in your house.
  • Lubricant. You may not need it all the time, but keep it handy for when you do.
  • Moisturize. Find the right lotions for your sexy bits and you’ll both benefit during the cold, dry months.

Do you have any other tips for sexing it up through this horrible season? Leave a comment!

We touched on this topic several months ago while writing about period sex, but it’s worth highlighting because we get so many questions about oral sex. You may be surprised to learn that the questions aren’t all from husbands who want more oral from their wives — we get similar emails from wives. We also get emails from wives (and husbands) who are lukewarm towards the idea of giving more oral to their spouse, and the number two reason given comes down to the feeling that performing oral sex is boring. (The number one reason is *drumroll* reluctance to swallow semen.)

So here’s a simple idea: make sure both spouses are being stimulated while one is performing oral! How can you make that happen?

  • Play with each other: The positions we call Old Faithful and New Faithful enable the husband to use his fingers or vibrator on his wife while she is performing oral on him. The Sixty-Nine position seems obvious thanks to pop culture, but it’s not very practical — the top spouse holds his/her body up for a long time while the bottom spouse gets buried and struggles to breathe. Better in theory than in practice.
  • Play with yourself: The husband can use his hand on himself while his head lies between his wife’s thighs. The wife can use her hand or vibrator on herself while she kneels and performs oral on her husband. If the giver is having fun I can virtually guarantee that the receiver will have fun.
  • Non-sexual stimulation: The stimulation doesn’t need to be sexual! Try a bifecta: watch your favorite show or read a book out loud while playing with each other. Bonus: here’s a new way to decide what to watch: whoever is giving oral picks the show. Your husband will discover a newfound love for romantic comedies.

Before you start, it’s important to set expectations for when each spouse is going to orgasm. Is the oral sex just foreplay? If so, then the receiver should hold off orgasm until the right time. Are you performing oral to completion? If so, then the giver should get a chance to have an orgasm also. (It’s super hot when Sexy Corte has an orgasm when I’m in her mouth, and I bet your spouse would enjoy that too!)

Do you have any other ideas for making the gift of oral sex more enjoyable to give? Leave a comment.

A lot of readers come here looking for something new to do in bed, but their spouses may not be up for trying bondage or sexy games quite yet. Well, here’s an idea that might add a new twist to your comfortable sex routine without being too “out there”: position your bodies to get (and give) a better view of the penetration. Why is this fun?

  • Husbands especially are visual creatures, and we like to watch — I’m sure some wives do, too! It’s not only highly arousing to look at your spouse’s parts during sex, but it also gives you an opportunity to watch how his or her whole body reacts to stimulation.
  • Moving bodies around gives the husband an opportunity to take control, and gives the wife an opportunity to be submissive.
  • Showing yourself off is an opportunity for vulnerability, which builds intimacy.
  • Even small changes in position create a sense of novelty — but don’t sweat it if you need to fall back on your “standard” position to actually reach orgasm.

So how do you do it? Here are a few tips.

  • Turn on the lights. You can’t watch if you can’t see.
  • Spread her legs. In a face-to-face position, the husband can grab his wife’s knees (which may normally gripped tightly around his waist) and spread them open as far as they’ll go. This may make the wife feel vulnerable and exposed, but isn’t that exciting? Don’t be shy.
  • Perpendicular bodies. Keep your torsos at a right angle instead of pressing together. It’s less intimate, but unless you have x-ray vision it’s the only way to see the action. Positions like doggy style (arch your back) or wife-on-top can be good, especially for the husband to see the penetration. The wife can also lay on her back near the edge of the bed while the husband stands on the floor.
  • Take it slow. You’ll see more if you move slowly, and shallow thrusts will keep space between your bodies and maintain line-of-sight.
  • Oral sex. Mouths and fingers are hot to penetrate and penetrate with, and often easier to see.
  • Mirrors. If the wife wants to see much, you may want to use a mirror (or two). Sexy Corte isn’t as visual as I am, so we haven’t tried this.
  • Take a picture. We haven’t done this either — make sure to lock your phone.

Do you like to watch yourselves have sex? Leave your best tips in the comments.

This guy is rad — you can tell from the girl’s eyes that she is surprised and impressed with his mastery. The man’s thumbs-up at the end says it all: no big deal.

Nothing’s hotter than expertly popping off your wife’s bra and getting your hands on her sweet, sweet breasts. It’s true: men love boobs. But unfortunately, our wives’ breasts are often imprisoned out of our reach.

Sure… your wife could remove her bra herself… but that’s like letting someone else unwrap your birthday present! No, you must have the glory of uncovering her breasts… but there’s a problem! Your wife has been unhooking bras for years and is very experienced at it. If you fumble, you’ll look foolish during your moment of victory! What to do?

Step 1: Scout the terrain. The “hook and eye” is the most common type of bra clasp, but as you can see in the diagram below there are many others. I know bras aren’t that interesting when your wife’s boobs aren’t inside, but go check out her collection and see how her various bras work. Take special note if she has any front closure bras — these are the worst! You can fumble with the strap in back forever until she delicately informs you that the clasps aren’t even there. Get familiar with her bras, and you you won’t be surprised later when the pressure’s on.

Step 2: Practice before the game. Now that you know what kinds of clasps are on your wife’s bras, take a few minutes to practice opening them. Then do it with your eyes closed! Learn to recognize the clasps by touch, because when you do it for real you may be in the dark or reaching around her body. Lucky for us husbands, bra clasps are all designed to be openable with one hand, so practice that way. To practice: lay the hooked bra face-down on a flat surface (with the clasp up) and reach out to open it in one smooth motion. You may need to put some tension on the straps while they’re hooked in order to create a realistic simulation.

Step 3: Go slow to go fast. This part is key! When you’re actually in position to take off your wife’s bra, don’t rush yourself. You don’t have to flick the clasp open the second your touch her bra. Your wife doesn’t know that bra removal has begun until your fingers begin manipulating the clasp! So before you start trying to open it, run your fingers over the clasp in the course of rubbing your hands across your wife’s back. She’ll think you’re merely touching her for arousal, but you’re also using the opportunity to identify her bra. After you know what kind of bra you’re dealing with, practice opening it in your mind. When you’re ready for the big moment, move your hand away from her bra for several seconds (or longer), and then move back in and unclasp her bra with a single confident motion. Moving your hand away after scouting and then back will make the unclasping seem like a fast, expert, effortless maneuver.

Step 4: Enjoy! Your mastery of her bra has impressed your wife and earned you access to her intimate delights. Claim your just reward and enjoy the fruits of your labor.

Do you have any tips to share for husbands trying to conquer that most frustrating of undergarments? Leave a comment!

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All Christian sex bloggers eventually get around to the question: should a wife swallow her husband’s semen? As usual, the answer is “if she wants to”. Well that’s fine… no one should be coerced into doing anything against her will… but I’m going to go a bit farther for wives and claim that you should cultivate a desire to swallow.

Why? Well, let’s get inside your husband’s head for a minute. As I’ve written before, we men like to mark our territory — and depositing his goo into your body is one of the primary ways your husband marks you. If you reject his semen, you’re rejecting him as your mate and as the potential father of your children. Even though it’s your mouth, refusing to swallow is basically the same as insisting that your husband wear a condom when you have intercourse.

On the flip side, when you do swallow, you create intimacy between you and your husband. You demonstrate love and acceptance on a very primal level that goes beyond words. If you want to drive your husband crazy don’t just suck him off — dive into him like a woman wandering through a desert who has just spotted an oasis. Not like you have to swallow, but like you crave him and will die if he doesn’t shoot himself down your throat right now.

And finally: God himself describes the passion of oral sex better than I ever could.

Bonnie Wallace says that semen is the perfect food for a wife.

In addition, it also has some great mind-altering effects.  It boosts melatonin, which helps you sleep, and oxytocin, which increases affection and boosts your mood.  You know how they say that breast milk is the most perfect food for an infant?  Well, semen is a pretty darn close comparison for the perfect sex food for a wife.

She also gives some helpful tips, so I recommend that wives head over to her place and read the whole article.

Ok, I’m not going to say that it is easy to swallow the first time you try to do it.  Depending on how often you have sex, a LOT may come out down there.  I’ll admit that my technique initially was to try to get it all in my mouth then swallow all at once to “get it over with” and that usually ended up making a really big mess.  Instead, it works better to drink it like a water fountain, swallowing and drawing more into your mouth at the same time.  Granted, there still may be too much to get it all, but it works a lot better this way than the other.

Since this topic generates a lot of email for us, let me also point you to these related posts:

For whatever reason, Sexy Corte’s period is often one of the times in her cycle that she is especially amorous, which can obviously lead to frustration for both of us! The topic of period sex probably deserves its own post, but since we don’t have time to write it right now we wanted to share something new that we did a few weeks ago.

Actually, it’s not entirely new: we wrote about “Old Faithful” almost four years ago! What’s new is that we realized that we can do this position pretty effectively while Sexy Corte is using a tampon without making a big mess if we use a vibrator instead of my fingers. To refresh your memory on the position:

I lay on my back while Sexy Corte kneels over my body at a 90-degree angle with her legs spread. I play with her lady bits while she performs oral sex on me. I’ll use my fingers to play all around outside and inside her body (see: Zoom Technique) to the point that she usually loses focus and forgets what she’s supposed to be doing.

Old Faithful can be carried to completion and it’s one of the best positions for getting Sexy Corte off with my fingers. Sometimes she has a hard time reaching orgasm if I’m not inside her, and Old Faithful makes this possible. From my perspective, there’s almost nothing hotter than my wife having a powerful orgasm with me in her mouth.

Using a vibrator instead of my fingers makes the orgasm faster and easier for Sexy Corte (which can be very important when you’ve got kids), and there’s less movement to dislodge the tampon and make a mess. Sexy Corte generally has a better orgasm when I’m in her vagina (obviously), but having me in her mouth is more stimulating for her than when we’ve tried fingers or vibrator on their own.

As for me, I get some bonus fun: I love it when Sexy Corte has an orgasm while I’m in her mouth. Don’t get me wrong, her orgasms always feel great to me, but it’s a special treat for me when she climaxes while performing oral sex. It feels amazing physically, but it also drives me crazy mentally to feel and see and hear her pleasure while she’s going down on me.

There are several other things we do to make period sex work for us that we’ll write about in a later post, but we wanted to share this one now because it was so surprisingly fulfilling for both of us. Let’s hear your thoughts in the comments!

I bet more wives than husbands use loofahs when they shower, but that might change if your spouse transforms into a human loofah! You don’t need a loofah costume (although you could use one), you just need your naked body and some soap. The idea is simple: the wife covers herself in soapy bubbles and then washes her husband by rubbing herself all over his body. Then they switch roles and the husband washes his wife in the same way. Fun and efficient!

Here are a few ideas for making the most of your human loofah experience.

  • No hands. Using your hands is easy-mode!
  • In the dark. Turning off the lights will enhance the experience for your other senses, especially touch.
  • Mirroring. Use your corresponding part to wash your spouse — e.g., wash her chest with your chest, and her butt with your butt.
  • Sexy parts. Wash your spouse’s whole body using only your sexy parts.

You might want to read up on how to have sex in the water before you get started, because all this rubbing is likely to lead in that direction. A well-prepared husband will be ready for anything if he keeps silicone lube and a water-proof vibrator handy.

Husbands, now that you’re married you don’t “pick up” girls anymore, right? Well, your wife’s heart may flutter if you pick her up literally. Would you like your wife to react to you like Rachel does in this clip? (Starting at 0:55.)

If you’re both in reasonably good shape you should be a lot stronger than your wife and able to easily impress her with feats of strength — and few actions underscore your size difference more than lifting your wife off the ground. (Obviously your man-strength should only be used for good, to serve and protect your family, never for evil.) Here are a few ideas:

  • Lift her legs up around your waist. When you’re standing up and kissing, bend down and lift her by the backs of her legs. Wrap her legs around your waist and hold her while you kiss. You can theoretically have sex in this position, but there’s a high risk of penis injury if she slips — so set her up on the counter.
  • “Honeymoon” carry. Like in the stereotypical honeymoon, pick her up and cradle her with one arm behind her back and the other under her knees.
  • Throw her onto the bed. Nothing says “it’s business time” like being tossed onto the bed.
  • Throw her over your shoulder. If you’re carrying her very far this is the easiest way to do it (other than a fireman carry, which doesn’t seem very romantic). Great opportunity to spank her butt a few times.
  • Piggy-back ride. Fun, but this generally requires her to actively climb aboard, rather than you picking her up.
  • Squats. Again, she has to climb on, but your wife will probably be impressed when you do squats with her on your shoulders.
  • Grab her by the hips. Not exactly lifting, but still a show of strength.

Most wives want a big, strong husband! You’ve got to be gentle and measured with your strength, but your wife will be probably like it if you show off a little. (And she may enjoy it if you’re a little rougher, but ask first and set expectations.)

Your mom was right: posture is important! I love scientific studies that reaffirm the obvious: men and women are both attracted to arched backs.

The curve in the spine that allows the lower back to bend inward toward the belly is called lordotic posture. Previous studies have showcased the role the posture plays in signaling a female’s readiness to mate among a variety of animals, including rats, guinea pigs, sheep, cats, ferrets and primates.

“The perception of attractiveness and visual attention to the hip region suggests that lordosis or the arching of the back might signal human females’ proceptivity or willingness to be courted,” Pazhoohi said. “This also might explain why women wear high heel shoes and why wearing high heel shoes increases womens’ attractiveness.”

The research showed that an arched back increases attractiveness from any viewing direction, but especially from the side and rear.

Just to avoid confusion, an “arched back” and a “rounded back” are opposites. The image below is an arched back — this is what you want.

The next image is a rounded back — this is not what you want.

An arched back enhances attractiveness in any body position (standing, sitting, kneeling, lying down) as long as you maintain “normal body angles” and don’t arch in a ludicrous manner.

In addition to visual appeal, the angles of the wife’s back and pelvis are major elements of sexual positioning. For example, arching her back during doggy style will allow for deeper penetration — but in missionary position, arching will likely be counter-productive. By mastering the rotation of her back and pelvis, the wife will gain a lot of control over her sexual pleasure and help her husband consistently hit “the right spot”.