People say it all the time: “it’s only a season”. Seasons come and go. Some are better than others. Rather than wishing time away, we need to learn how to embrace the season we are in. The light parts and the dark. Maintaining a good habit of having sex with your spouse can help shape your outlook on whatever season of life you are in.

Sometimes I’m well into a season before I realize how things have changed. Right now I think I would title the season “over”. Lately I feel a lot of “over-(blank)”. I am starting my third year of being home with three preschoolers. I love our kids like crazy, but toddlers definitely contribute a lot to the tone of a season. Often at the end of the day I feel over-touched, over-stimulated, and over-tired. However, I also feel that I’m in the best time of my life! Children are a blessing from the Lord, but they can zap your energy right out of you. So how do you keep a fulfilling sex life in the midst of raising kids?

Here are some thoughts. Please leave suggestions for what’s worked for you in the comments!

  1. Time of day. The first thing I do when I find myself in a new season of life is reevaluate the best time of day for sex. Pay attention to your body and notice when you feel that urge — be alert. If you are exhausted by the end of the day, try having sex in the morning. It takes more discipline — you need to go to bed earlier, set an alarm, and actually wake up.
  2. Pray! Do you pray for your sex life? You should! Pray for desire, satisfaction, and regularity, for both you and your spouse.
  3. Take a moment. We are all busy, whether at home or at work. By the time the kids are in bed, I am not ready to be touched for a while. Similarly, if you work at a job where you have to talk a lot or are around people all day, you need a bit of quiet when you get home. I’m amazed at how even just 15 minutes alone can rejuvenate me and prepare me to better spend time with El Fury in the evening. Most of the time, this is just a nice hot shower.
  4. Make sex a habit. If sex is a regular part of your schedule, it’s going to happen! The same way you commit yourself to exercise and brushing your teeth, you should treat sex as a priority. If you’re already in the regular habit of having sex, you’re more likely to maintain a good sex life during the different seasons of life. You are in charge of your own time, and if something is important you should be able to carve out 30 minutes for it.
  5. Be flexible. If you have kids you have constant interruptions. They have lots of demands and very little patience. Even when I wake up early, am alert, and in the mood, there are times that things have to halt because there is a tiny person crying at the (locked) door. It’s frustrating, but it’s part of having these wonderful little people in your life. Keep trying. That evening. The next morning. Just keep trying!
  6. Communicate and ask for help. For me, the hours between 4 and 6 can make or break how I feel. Making dinner and cleaning up is often intense. When EF is able to help — with either clean up or baths, or just taking the kids away so I can prep dinner, it makes a world of difference. For less stress, try some slow-cooker meals. Anything you can to make dinner time less overwhelming will help!

Your spouse deserves your best, not just whatever you have left at the end of the day. Adjust yourself and your sex lives throughout whatever season you’re in. And remember, it’s only a season!

Our world has changed so much since I was a kid. There is so much to entertain. Sometimes we even need to be entertained while being entertained! It’s literally at our fingertips. With so much to distract, it’s easy to get into some bad habits. How often do we favor scrolling through our phone than paying attention to our spouse or children? What message are you conveying when your child needs something and you take your time to respond so you can finish reading your article or playing your game? Relationships take effort. Being present speaks volumes of love. It says, you are important, and worth my time. We have made a few decisions in our house to help us make time for being intentional with our family.

  1. No devices at the dinner table. We eat meals together as a family, and everyone sets aside their phones (or toys for the younger ones). Mealtime is probably the most important time of the day to engage with each other.
  2. No TV’s in the bedroom. This was a little more difficult to give up, but I’m so glad we did. The bedroom is for sex, and for sleeping.
  3. Play games! Board games are so different from when we were children. There are so many different kinds of games out there. El Fury and I love playing games together, and it’s a great way to engage with each other. We watch TV sometimes, but that feels more like parallel play. There are a lot of cooperative games out there too, so you can even be on the same team.
  4. We often say to our kids “people are more important” when they want to play on their tablets instead of hang out with our family. It’s a good thing for them to hear, and a good reminder for us as well.
  5. We also try not to be on our phones in the evening. After the kids go to bed it’s our time to hang out. We guard that time. We don’t get on our computers or phones, we spend time together.

When your spouse is talking to you, set your phone aside, and look them in the eye. They should be more important to you. Your relationship is with a person and not a device. At the end of your life are you going to be happy for all the time you spent with your spouse, or are you going to wish you would have spent more time on your phone?

Pregnancy is a special and fleeting time — although I remember while I was pregnant I felt like it would last forever! Looking back I can better appreciate how short a chapter of my life it was. During pregnancy, there are a lot of ups and downs in your sex life, and each trimester needs it’s own adjustments to keep a happy sexy time. Then after baby is born, there are even more adjustments to be made!

1st Trimester

  • When you find out that you and your spouse have made a life together, it is an incredibly intimate feeling. I felt connected to EF in a way I never had before. We shared something together that is at the most primal level of humanity, and that feeling extended into our sex.
  • Shortly after you become pregnant you start to realize that you won’t have your period for a while. This was one of my favorite parts!
  • Also shortly after you become pregnant, the hormones really kick in. For me, this is when I really started to pay attention to how I felt at different times of day. I was fortunate to not feel sick all day. Each pregnancy was different, but with each one there was a time of day that worked best for sex. So that is when we had sex! If you can be flexible and communicate you should be able to maintain an enjoyable sex life even through the more unpleasant parts of pregnancy.
  • Enjoy all the positions that you like, you aren’t really limited by your size.

2nd Trimester

  • Ah, the golden trimester for sex. El Fury loved this trimester. My libido was so high, I think I wore him out! Have sex as much as you can in this trimester.
  • For most of this trimester different positions are still comfortable. We tried to enjoy the Jockey position because we knew soon we wouldn’t be able to do it that way.
  • There isn’t a whole lot to say on this trimester, except have lots of sex and enjoy it!

3rd Trimester

  • Sex gets a little challenging during these few months. This is where I felt like I would be pregnant forever. Husbands, encourage your wives as much as you can during these months. I was super crabby the last two months of pregnancy and needed all the encouragement I could get!
  • Exercise if you are able. At this point I was only able to walk, and I think my level of activity made sex more enjoyable.
  • During this trimester we were pretty much limited sex to two positions: me on top and spooning. Sex while spooning is very comfortable when you are pregnant. The last month especially this was my favorite way to have sex. If you are unfamiliar with this position, it is exactly as it sounds: having sex while the husband spoons the wife.
  • Although it can be difficult, try to enjoy sex because after baby is born most people have to wait a little while until your body is recovered.

Postpartum

  • The first time you have sex after baby is born is pretty monumental. You haven’t had sex for a while, so both of you are pretty worked up. For the wife, it is also pretty scary (at least for me it was). Go slow and spend a lot of time on foreplay. When the husband is entering the wife, go especially slow and make sure she doesn’t have any pain through the process. EF was so gentle, and it meant the world to me that I could trust him in that way.
  • This is yet another time that you have to notice what time of day you want to have sex. Then have sex at that time! This can change rapidly, so listen to your body and embrace it when you want to have sex. Those first few months after our babies were born we had sex at all hours of the day. There were times I would come in from feeding in the middle of the night and be ready to go. EF was flexible enough that he didn’t mind waking up in the middle of the night.
  • Boob sensitivity. Before having kids, my boobs weren’t really an exciting area for me. For EF they were, but I didn’t get much pleasure out of them. I don’t know if anyone else has experienced this, but after having babies and breastfeeding, by boobs became much more sensitive. Now I get very turned on when EF touches me there.

I love looking back and remembering our experience of pregnancy and childbirth together. EF was the only person I wanted to have in that room with me. Going through all that together brought our relationship to a new level of intimacy. I love sharing this journey with him. There are times I feel like our kids are absolutely crazy, and I can look up and catch his eye. We give each other a knowing smile. He is the only person in the world that can understand our life together, and what we’ve been through with adding these little lives to our world: their quirkiness, and the intense love we have for them. Then, when those crazy moments have turned to quiet moments after they go to bed (or in the morning before they wake up), it’s amazing to look into those same eyes while we make love. That, I believe, is how God wanted us to experience this great gift of sex and intimacy.

The results from this study on co-sleeping aren’t surprising in the least!

While some parents find co-sleeping helps to make nights with a baby more manageable, others find the constant caregiving and interrupted sleep to be exhausting.

Beth Day and her husband, of Seattle, slept in the same room with their son and found he started waking more and more frequently around 12 months. As soon as they moved him to his own room, he started sleeping through the night.

“Once I got my personal space back, my relationship with my kid and my husband improved immensely. I don’t think I realized how I had such a feeling of invaded personal space until it wasn’t any more,” Ms. Day said. Getting better sleep helped, too. With the fragmented nights of co-sleeping, “I was really irritable with my son and my husband, and didn’t have the energy to really play or interact” with her baby, she said.

Your master bedroom should be reserved for marital intimacy, which includes sex but so much more!

One of the most common questions about co-sleeping is how it impacts a couple’s sex life. Parents say that when a baby is sleeping in the same room, maintaining intimacy can require creativity.

“We don’t have sex in our bed anymore, but there are other places to have sex,” said Leah Nilson of Vancouver, British Columbia. She and her husband have co-slept with their 2-year-old son from birth. “It has not negatively impacted our relationship in the slightest. Parenting in general has, but bed-sharing is one of the more pleasant aspects of parenting.”

Yes, there are lots of places to have sex besides your bed, but be honest — if you remove your bed from the equation, the frequency of sex is going to go way down.

When you have a new baby it’s easy to become completely focused on that wonderful new life. Babies are awesome! But your marriage relationship should always be your top priority, and it’s hard to prioritize it when you have an infant sleeping in your bed.

Despite how much you love your baby, you need to give yourself and your spouse permission to have your own space. You need to put the kids to bed and make time for yourselves. Keeping Mom and Dad healthy is the best thing for baby, and protecting your marriage will pay dividends for years.

When Sexy Corte and I were struggling with the decision of whether to have another child we asked many of our friends for advice. Some of the couples we asked were very sure of their decision to stop, but their surety wasn’t much help to us because it was often grounded in the specifics of their circumstances (age, health, time, etc.). The couples who hadn’t decided yet were often in the same boat as we were: agonizing indecision.

SC and I prayed a lot about our decision and it could have gone either way — there wasn’t any one determining factor that pushed us to stop. Our inertia was moving us towards having another child — years ago we had agreed on a number, and we were both happy with it. But when it came time to finally decide, we were both uneasy. We took several months to talk with each other, seek advice, and pray. In the end, we decided that either course could honor God and be good for our family, but it was best to stop. This was a very hard decision, but we’re still confident that we made the right choice.

So, how did we decide? This list of questions by Deepak Reju, a Christian counselor, was a great foundation for our discussion. It addresses many Biblical teachings on the topic of children, and then uses those Bible teachings to frame some practical questions. Here are the topics — and our answers — that ultimately led us to our decision.

  • Is your default position to stop or to have more children? Our default position was to have another child. We were struggling because we both felt that inertia was pushing us into a less-wise decision. Not unwise, just less wise.
  • What is your logistical, emotional, and spiritual capacity as parents? Our children are close in age, and we realized together that we were at capacity. If had been younger we would likely have spread our kids out a little farther and reduced the peak workload of young children, but that wasn’t an option. It’s the peak workload that limits your parenting capacity, not the average workload.
  • Are you being responsible to serve and disciple your spouse and children? We wanted to make sure that we’d always have time for each other, and for deep one-on-one relationships with each child. It was already a challenge to find one-on-one time with anyone, and we didn’t want to sacrifice quality for quantity. Our marriage is the most important relationship in the family, and we believed that having another child would add a significantly increased burden. Additionally, each child needs special time alone with each parent, and we love providing that.

So those were the factors that led to our decision. As with many decisions, we believe that God could have been honored either way — He gave us wisdom and discernment for a reason. After we decided, we wrote an email to our future selves that we could look back on if we ever doubted our choice, but so far we’ve had it affirmed in numerous ways… usually during dinner or bath time. In a later post we’ll write about how we made the decision permanent.

How did you make this decision for your family? Are you pondering it right now?

Staying disciplined with our kids’ bedtimes has been one of the best habits that Sexy Corte and I have cultivated during our marriage. We’ve written two posts about protecting your master bedroom from your children and making it a haven for your sexual relationship, and it’s just as important to protect your time as your space.

When you have young children it’s easy for them to dominate every waking second of your life, but your sex life is going to suffer if you let that happen. Maintaining a consistent bedtime for your kids is important for their mental and physical health, your sanity, and your sex life. If your kids wake up and go to sleep when you do, it’s no surprise you don’t have time and energy for sex.

Children need structure and consistency, and they need a lot of sleep.

Among the children who were in bed by 8 p.m., 10 percent were obese as teens, compared to 16 percent of those who went to bed between 8 and 9 and 23 percent of those who went to bed after 9, according to the study, published in The Journal of Pediatrics.

Although the study does not prove that early bedtimes protect against obesity, Dr. Anderson said, “there is a great deal of evidence linking poor sleep, and particularly short sleep duration, to obesity, and it’s possible the timing of sleep may be important, above and beyond the duration of sleep.”

“This provides more evidence that having an early regular bedtime and bedtime routine for young children is helpful,” she said.

We try to have our younger kids in bed by seven every evening, and the older ones in bed by eight. They’re not always asleep by then, but they’re in bed and quiet. We stick to this schedule about six days a week, and the other day we’re likely to have some church or social event that keeps us out a later. Our kids are like all other kids: they stall, delay, and beg to stay up later, but they know the routine and are generally compliant.

This schedule gives me and Sexy Corte at least two hours together almost every evening. It’s very easy to have a babysitter watch the sleeping children while we go on a date (which we try to do monthly) but most of the time we spend the evening playing board games together — and having sex! Sexy Corte’s best time of day for orgasm has moved around over the years, and now the golden hour is right after we get the kids to bed. As you can imagine, I’m pretty motivated to tuck them in!

As our kids get older I’m sure they’ll stay up later, but we still plan to enforce a quiet time in the evening starting around eight. We’ll see how that goes!

We’re frequently shocked to learn that many of our friends have their kids in activities several nights per week, let them stay up until ten, or even let them sleep in the master bedroom. I don’t see how such parents ever find time for themselves. If you’re in this position and you can’t imagine how to change things around, check out our post about creating the habit of daily sex — it contains a bunch of good tips for creating good habits in your life and marriage.

Do you have any good ideas for protecting your time, space, and energy for sex?

Reader “MM” asks:

Intimacy after losing a loved one. This is something I’ve thought about in the past. I want to know your thoughts about this. Do you think it’s taboo to engage in sex soon after losing one’s mother, father, brother, ect., or would you say it’s all right? I would think the comfort from married intimacy in the wake of loss would work wonders, but then, I haven’t found myself in that situation. What do you think?

This is a hard question for me to answer: neither Sexy Corte nor I have been in this position yet. Everyone eventually faces grief in life, so your question is universal.

It would seem to me that the intimacy of sex with your spouse would be very comforting in a time of grief. Far from being taboo, sexual intimacy can be a powerful healing force when one spouse is hurting. However, everyone is different, so I’d follow the cues of the grieving spouse. If Sexy Corte were grieving, I would provide all the comfort I could, and be available for sexual intimacy if she desired it.

Sometimes it’s hard for a grieving person to accept comfort of any kind, and that’s normal. However, as the immediacy and intensity of the grief dulls, it becomes easier to both talk about the loss and to welcome another person into the intimacy of the experience. If your spouse is grieving, I recommend that you make yourself available for whatever kind of comfort she desires, whether that’s listening, conversation, distraction, or sexual intimacy.

If any readers would like to share their experiences with this situation, please do so in the comments.

Update: An anonymous commenter points to a verse I should have thought of: 2 Samuel 12:24. After the illness and eventual death of King David and Bathsheba’s first child, conceived in adultery and murder, the parents are grief-stricken. They find comfort in repentance (Psalm 51) and each other.

Then David comforted his wife, Bathsheba, and went in to her and lay with her, and she bore a son, and he called his name Solomon.

Please use the contact pages for Sexy Corte and El Fury to send us your questions. We will only share your question if you give us permission, and we’ll never reveal your name or any other identifying information. You can ask questions anonymously, or use a free anonymous email server like Mailinator.

Reader “T” writes:

My husband and I are recent empty-nesters and our sex lives have fallen into the predictable and stale category. He has given me hints over the years about certain things he would like to do with me but when I take him up on it, he starts backing off. For instance, he has always hinted that he wants to come in my mouth. I enjoy giving him head so this isn’t a problem for me. What IS a problem is that giving head stimulates me so much that I am usually begging for penetration after a few minutes.

The last time he asked for a blow job, I said, “what happens afterward? I will be miserable with desire and you will be finished.”

He said, “Well, we’ll have to find something else to use for penetration then.”

I took him up on that and suggested that we could look for something together but he acted almost stunned that I would consider using something else besides his penis. On other occasions, he has made comments about spanking me. I would love this but when I said I would like to explore that option, he clammed up. There are lots of other things I would love to do for him and to him but he seems to think that I would be using him with no love involved. We’ve had that discussion. I tell him I love him every day at least once and we’ve been together 37 years. What more can I do? I told him that to me true intimacy is being able to trust a person to the point where you can share your deepest desires and fantasies.

My husband is still very hot to me. He is very handsome and fit. He has always had great genes physically. His pecs, shoulders, back, arms, and butt still make me drool. He is built far better still, than men half his age. He is 60 and I see much younger women eyeballing him whenever we are out. Most people think we are in our mid 40s (lucky us). We have both started taking bio-identical hormones which has increased our libidos and performance but he still doesn’t seem to have the desire that I do. When I let him know that I want him, he seems uncomfortable.

He does occasionally have trouble keeping it up during intercourse. He says he gets distracted but won’t say why. All I know is that here we both are with an empty house where I can moan and scream all I want to and he seems mostly disinterested. We have had kids in the home for 33 years and now that they are gone I want to renew the adventure in our sex lives. I don’t know what to do. Should I just leave him alone and let him think awhile or just drop it altogether?

Thanks for the email! And congratulations on 37 years of marriage, that is amazing! I definitely don’t think you should stop pursuing an awesome sex life. I know in my marriage I have gone through periods of lower libido. It is discouraging in those times because I wanted to want sex! I was surprised by how much having an open, honest conversation with my husband helped. He really tried to understand what I was going through, and we talked about how to help it improve. If your husband doesn’t feel comfortable talking about intimacy, try bringing up the things you want to try during intimate moments.

Right after sex can be a great time to have a positive discussion about your sex life. You could try saying something like, “I really liked it when you did this… maybe next time we could try this….” It could be that your husband feels like he isn’t fulfilling you in a way and that’s why he seems uncomfortable with your desire for more adventure. You could try telling him what he does do that really satisfies you so that he is secure in his ability to please you. Keep the conversation positive and focus on what you like. I will pray for you as you navigate this season of your sex life.

As far as him coming in your mouth, I do understand what you mean about desiring penetration. I find sex more fulfilling when I orgasm with El Fury inside me. But, it is fun to change things up a bit. We have a move we call Old Faithful that we use mostly for foreplay, but sometimes we both orgasm during this move. Basically, I position myself so that I can give EF oral sex while he can play with me with his hand. He can occasionally penetrate me with his fingers while he rubs me. It’s not the same as his penis, of course, but it still feels really good. When we both climax this way, he brings me to orgasm first. He always talks about how sexy it is when I come with his penis in my mouth. It doesn’t take long after I orgasm for him to do the same.

And “T” wrote back:

Thank you Sexy Corte, it helps to know that there are those out there who understand. A lot of what has happened to my libido lately is because of the recent revelation that I’ve had about what a Biblical marriage allows in the marriage bed. We have always been highly appreciative of sex but because of religious taboos, I put out the fire on my adventurous nature concerning sex. After much study and also discovering several blogs on Christian marriage, my views about pleasuring each other have changed drastically. Now I can be on fire at a moments notice. I just don’t think he’s there yet.

You said, “It could be your husband feels like he isn’t fulfilling you in a way and that’s why he seems uncomfortable with your desire for more adventure.” I think you are right. I had that conversation with him last night after reading a blog about what excites women during sex. I told him that as a woman, knowing that he desires me is the biggest part of the turn-on….not simply him going through the motions because he knows I’m horny. I told him that if that was all I wanted, I could have bought a dildo years ago and been perfectly happy. I think he is starting to understand that I want HIM….the whole package, not just a penis. I did purchase some toys to pleasure him with. I am hoping that as I introduce things to give him pleasure, he will see that I am not “using” him, I am “enjoying” him. Thank you for your prayers and your advice as we experiment our way through new territory.

Thanks for the follow-up email. We hope your sex life is as awesome, adventurous, and amazing as God intends!

Please use the contact pages for Sexy Corte and El Fury to send us your questions. We will only share your question if you give us permission, and we’ll never reveal your name or any other identifying information. You can ask questions anonymously, or use a free anonymous email server like Mailinator.

Lately I have been hearing from more and more women a consistent desire that is burning in their hearts. They want and need their husbands to step up and be a spiritual leader to their family. They are weary of bearing the burden of leadership that they were not created to bear. We live in a time that feminism and equal roles are common themes in our households. But this is not what God has intended.

God has blessed us with a lot of scripture to help us fulfill our roles as husbands and wives. My favorite is Ephesians 5:22-33.

22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Scripture makes it very clear — God designed the husband to be the leader of the family. As most Christians learn, when God sets up a model of which to live by, it’s because that is the best possible way. It’s what will bring Him glory, how we will be happiest, and how our lives will function properly. Husbands, you are the leaders. Your wife is to be your helper, your counselor. Lead your wife lovingly and she will happily follow.

So wives, what do you do if your husband is not being the leader you need him to be?

1. Pray. Pray that God would convict him and guide him.

2. Equip him. We are the helpers, the supporters. Start by asking him to make the decisions, and then follow through with the decision he does make. You can also give him the tools and the encouragement he needs to be a good leader. Find a devotional the two of you can do together or with your family. Ask him to lead prayer at meals or bedtimes with the kids.

3. Encourage him. If he does step up and lead, it is probably out of his comfort zone to do so. If your first response is criticism, it will probably make him shut down. Encouragement will build up his confidence to continue leading. Keep in mind his style of leading might look very different from how you would lead. This is where you need to submit and surrender to his leadership.

4. Praise God. God deserves all the praise and glory. I think especially for women, it is easy to put our hope and faith in our husbands. But putting our hope in anything other than God will bring disappointment every time.

5. Don’t get discouraged. Leadership is a learned skill. He’s not going to turn into the leader you dream for your family overnight, and he might not fully step up at once. If he steps up, then falls back into letting you lead, keep praying and keep encouraging him.

The holidays are hectic, and doubly so if you’re going on vacation — maybe triple if you’re going to visit family. With everything going on at the last minute before you walk out the door, sex may be the last thing on your mind… but you’re not going to abstain while you’re gone, are you? Are you? I sure hope not. Travel sex is some of the best sex, but take a few minutes to get prepared before you leave.

A lot depends on where you’ll be staying. If it’s just you and your spouse staying at a hotel, the preparation will be a lot easier than if you’re sharing a room with your kids in your parents’ basement. Here’s a checklist to help you out:

  • Set expectations. Hopefully you’re both expecting to make love on your trip, but when and where? If the babies wake up at the crack of dawn, you may need to retire early to have some time together before you go to sleep. If the kids nap, then maybe you can grab a quickie in the afternoon. If your family stays up till midnight watching movies, you may try to rise early together. If you don’t make a plan, you may end up with one horny spouse expecting some lovin’ at midnight while the other collapses into bed exhausted. In addition to the timing, figure out where you can have sex, and for how long. The wife will probably need more time, comfort, and privacy to have an orgasm than her husband will, so husbands, don’t just plan on quickies for the whole trip and leave her frustrated.
  • Lube. It may not be absolutely necessary, but it will probably make the wife’s orgasm a lot easier. If you’re in a pinch, you might be able to borrow some lotion from your family for your “dry hands”.
  • Sex rags. Bring a few of your own washcloths in your suitcase to clean up after sex. If you’re staying at a hotel this probably isn’t an issue, but do you want your mother-in-law grossing out when she does the laundry after you leave?
  • Sex toys. These will definitely depend on your circumstances. It might be hard to use a vibrator while your kids sleep on the floor next to your bed and your parents are a foot away on the other side of the wall. However, in situations like these you might need to have sex in places other than your sleeping area anyway, and that means that a vibrator might come in very handy to get her off quickly. If you’re doing it in the bathroom you can cover the noise with the exhaust fan. If you “drive to the store” a vibrator can really help in the confines of a car. Speed is often important during family vacation sex, so don’t forget your vibrator. Important tip: take the batteries out before you pack it… otherwise it might turn itself on in your suitcase. That’s fun to explain when your family notices!
  • Portable door lock. Finding privacy can be hard, especially if you’re staying with family and their doors don’t lock.
  • Just do it! When you’re on vacation don’t make excuses, make opportunities!

Do you have any tips for vacation sex? How do you prepare?