Doctors and Scientists Agree: Bras Are Bad for Breast Health 1

Doctors say that bras may be bad for breast health. Hey, it’s science!

Ditching a bra could make your breasts perkier, experts have claimed.

Women’s health specialists and plastic surgeons have suggested that the tight pressure from a bra can weaken tissues around the breasts over time, causing them to droop.

The uplifted look is also said to be due to the gradual strengthening of back muscles that happens when you’re unsupported, improving posture.

If only some scientist were courageous and dedicated enough to devote a lifetime to studying breasts. Oh wait!

A 15-year study conducted by Dr Jean-Denis Rouillon, a sports science expert from the University of Besançon, France, revealed that bras did more harm than good when it came to perkiness.

In the study, he examined changes in the breasts of hundreds of women over many years.

He concluded that women who didn’t wear bras had nipples that were seven milliliters higher than those who did.

Dr Rouillon said in a radio interview: ‘Medically, physiologically, anatomically—breasts gain no benefit from being denied gravity. On the contrary, they get saggier with a bra.’

What about personal testimony?

Dr Lucky Sekhon, a board-certified OB/GYN and reproductive endocrinologist, told Well+Good that people have long believed the opposite – that not wearing a bra causes drooping.

This, she says, is a common misconception.

Women who have gone long periods without wearing a bra often report that this leads their breasts to being firmer, rounder, and perkier over time.’

So there you have it — unless you hate health and science, you should stop wearing a bra.

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Sex Q&A: Aroused While Sharing a Hotel Room with Friends 2

Wife “NN” writes:

I had a very uncomfortable situation recently. My husband and I went for a weekend away with our really good friends, and we decided to save some money by sharing a hotel room. We made a rule: no sex while both couples are in the room. We agreed we would give each other time alone during the trip. Anyway, the first night we go out and we all get pretty drunk, especially my husband. That night, I woke up in the middle of the night and I could hear our friends whispering. I peeked out from under my covers and could not believe my eyes. They were clearly having sex.

At this point, my husband was completely passed out and I pretended to be sleeping. My girlfriend was trying to be quiet but I could clearly hear her moaning. I must have dozed off again, and when I opened my eyes my girlfriend was facing me and her husband was spooning her. What was worse was the blanket was off and her legs were open and I could see everything, including his penis going in and out of her vagina. I had no idea what to do so I pretended to sleep, and this continued for a hour or more. In the morning my husband was oblivious to what I witnessed, and he went to the gym. I went to the bathroom and when I came out my girlfriend was standing completely naked in front of me and hugged me. I am so embarrassed. I want to tell my husband but he will just laugh. Along with all this embarrassment, I really got turned on by watching them and I’m not sure what to do. Help?

This does sound like an awkward situation. I think it’s ok to talk to both your friend and your husband about it. It’s good to have boundaries, and it sounds like your friends crossed yours. You don’t have to dwell on what happened, but acknowledging it can clear the air and then you can move on in your relationship. If it’s still bothering you after some times has passed, talking about it with your husband and laughing together might help you move on.

As for being aroused, I don’t think you need to feel bad about it. Your body responded to what it was seeing. If your mind is dwelling on it, try to turn your thoughts towards your husband and your sex life with him. We can’t always control what happens to us, but we can use every experience in life for God’s glory.

Please use the contact pages for Sexy Corte and El Fury to send us your questions. We will only share your question if you give us permission, and we’ll never reveal your name or any other identifying information. You can ask questions anonymously, or use a free anonymous email server like Mailinator.

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A Wife's Guide to Navigating the Penis: Head, Shaft, Frenulum, and Balls 3

Wife “ER” writes:

I noticed that you guys had an episode for husbands on how to navigate the clitoris. Do you have one for penis’s that maybe I’m missing? If you don’t have one, I’d like to see you guys create one for the wives!

Your wish is our command!

Humans have been representing the penis in art for thousands of years. From the Obelisks of Egypt to the Rockets of Jeff Bezos to “unique roman artifacts”, our fascination with the phallus is enduring. For those of us without a rod, or staff, or Johnson, the penis can be a tricky place to navigate.

The balls are a great place to begin with foreplay. Licking the balls all around is like soothing an ache. El Fury describes this as luxurious. Use the tongue for foreplay and your hand for an accessory to aid in orgasm. Cup the balls while he uses his hand, or if you are performing oral.

At the opposite end is the head of the penis. The head is the most sensitive area, so it is important to be gentle and avoid direct hand contact. Treat the head as the playground of the tongue. Swirl, flick, lick — the tongue can do anything to drive the head of the penis crazy. There is a spot on the under-side of the head (ball side) called the frenulum. With enough time and attention a man can orgasm just from extended focus in this area. The head is also a great place to tease when the wife is on top. Allow just the head inside the vagina and see how long it takes before the husband loses control. It’s fun to bounce up and down with the slightest movement, plus it feels great.

Connecting the balls and penis is the shaft. This area seems to be the least sensitive, but craves attention in order to orgasm. During sex or oral, taking the shaft in deep will push him over the edge. In a technique that El Fury calls “Around the World” the wife can start on the head, then take her tongue down the shaft, around the balls and back up the other side. The shaft is where to hold during a hand job.

Similar to the clitoris, the penis can vary from man to man. It’s important to explore together. It means a lot to a husband if the wife loves and appreciates his penis.

Wives, if you have any great tips for navigating a penis please share them in the comments!

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New Year's Sexolutions 4

Happy New Year! New Years is a time of looking back and looking forward, resembling a cycle of death and rebirth. The old year has come to an end. The new year stretches ahead of us like a field of possibility. A lot of people make resolutions. There is hope for change, for something new, for something better. I think it is the potential that is the most exciting. When God created us with free will He gave us the ability to shape our futures. What an incredible gift! El Fury and I take New Years as an opportunity to discuss the past and future in an effort to enhance the present. We look at the past year and discuss what we are thankful for, what we could improve upon, and what went really great. Then we look forward and discuss our goals, how we want to grow, what we want to do. As you are making your resolutions, make sure to set goals with your spouse. Include some sexy goals!

Have a discussion with your spouse to help you shape what your sexolutions can be:

  • If both of us have the sex life that we dream of, what does that look like?
  • When we look back at the end of 2024 and thinking, we had a great sex life, what were the things that happened to make that true?
  • What did we feel to make that true?
  • What did we do to make that true?
  • What did we avoid to make that true?
  • What are the things we should start? Stop? Continue?
  • What would you be willing to give up this year to have an awesome sex life? Is that time? Alcohol? Sleeping in?
  • What would you be willing to change about yourself? Look inward, specifically about yourself. Don’t ask what the other person could change.

In your discussion, focus on being positive, forward looking. This isn’t the time for the airing of grievances. You are shaping your future with your spouse, make it exciting and joyful.

Here is a list of sexolutions that you can try with your spouse in 2024:

  • Have 1 more orgasm per week than what you are already having. This might require some effort. You might have to get up a little earlier. You might have to muster up the desire. If anything is worth putting effort into, it’s your marriage. You will never regret having an orgasm with your spouse!
  • Introduce novelty into your sex life. Try one of the games on our site. Try having each of you write down 6 ideas and draw them randomly once a month through the year.
  • Date. Go out. Pick a frequency. Once a month, once a week, once a quarter. Ask a babysitter to commit to a regular time.
  • Have sex outside once this year.
  • Have sex in a different room of your house.
  • Have sex at a different time of day.
  • Try a different style of music during sex.
  • At least once this year try something that is outside of your comfort zone.
  • Talk about your sex life with your spouse. Most of the questions we get on our site would be solved with communication. The more you talk about sex with your spouse the easier it gets.

Be specific. Try not to just say ‘have more’ or ‘do less’. If your goals are more specific you are more likely to achieve them. Write them down. Set reminders to check them. We pray that when 2025 begins you can look back on 2024 and be able to confidently say that it was one sexy year.

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Decorate Your Bodies for Christmas 5

Celebrate Christmas by adorning your spouse’s body with sexy and seasonal decorations! In a comment on “The Origin or Spanksgiving” wife Lucy wrote:

I would love more posts about how to play around with spanking as foreplay – specifically, I appreciate how you often present it as a way you’re appreciating your wife’s body and enjoying sensations together; it doesn’t have to be about punishing or embarrassing someone. I get people are into that, but for me I just get excited by the fact my husband especially likes handling that part of my body. I don’t need to play out that this is some kind of discipline to enjoy him being stronger and eager to grab me.

Sexy Corte and I aren’t particularly into “punishment” play, but I sure do like her butt. So this Christmas season I’ve been using markers to decorate her butt with festive drawings and messages such as:

  • Christmas trees, lights, and decorations
  • “Merry Christmas!”
  • “Naughty and nice”
  • “Who wants cookies?”

Here are a few ideas for spicing up your decoration experience:

  • Draw while having sex in doggy style or jockey position.
  • Have the wife guess what was drawn on her butt (or vice versa if the husband was the canvas)
  • Draw long-lasting elements with sharpies, and augment them daily with washable markers. For example, draw a Christmas tree with a sharpie, and then add new ornaments every day with washable colored markers.
  • Keep a tally of your sexual accomplishments, for example: number of orgasms for each spouse, list of positions you’ve done, or a bucket list to check off as you do it.
  • Write out the lyrics to your favorite Christmas carol and sing-along together.
  • Flash the decorations as required to create a festive holiday food.

If you’ve got any other ideas for decorating your bodies for Christmas, share them in the comments!

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We Need Better Sexual Haptic Technology 6

It’s amazing that vibrating haptic suits can help deaf people enjoy music, but it makes me notice that sexual haptic technology seems to be pretty stagnant.

After a year of research, Belquer’s team finally settled on a haptic suit — similar to the one used for virtual reality or video games — with 24 vibrating plates or actuators. Twenty are attached to the vest, which fits snugly around the body. The remaining four are wrapped around each wrist and ankle.

A software program allows musicians and DJs to easily integrate the haptic suits into their program. While the vibrations are not synched to the songs, they complement the music experience.

We Need Better Sexual Haptic Technology 7

Vibrators have been around for 200 years and there a million kinds of vibrators and dildos… and that’s about it. Sure, there are other novelty haptic sex toys for both men and women, but none of them seem to be particularly popular or effective. People are working on sex robots, but the best “sex robot” we’ve seen has been the one that vacuums our floors. I suppose that adding remote control capability to vibrators was a significant advancement, but it seems like so much more can be done! Here are some user stories for sexual haptics, written from the perspective of a husband — but all these stories could be written from a wife’s perspective also.

  • Hold Hands. I’d like to hold hands with my wife remotely.
  • Kissing. It’s sure hard to imagine how this one would be possible, but I’d like to be able to kiss my wife remotely.
  • Hugging and holding. I’d like to be able to hug and hold my wife remotely.
  • Detect arousal. I’d like to know my wife’s arousal level remotely.
  • Finger tracing. I’d like to be able to run my fingers over my wife’s skin remotely.
  • Gaze alerts. I’d like my wife to know when I’m looking at her breasts or butt, or otherwise checking her out.
  • Fingering. I’d like to be able to finger my wife’s clitoris and vagina and feel her wetness and arousal remotely.
  • Squeezing. I’d like to be able to squeeze my wife’s breasts or butt remotely.
  • Direct stimulation. I’d like to be able to remotely control my wife’s level of sexual arousal.

We get a ton of emails from husbands and wives who are geographically separated for various reasons (e.g., military service) and struggle to maintain intimacy, and we don’t have a ton of good advice for them. It might seem far-fetched to imagine that haptics could ever bridge this gap and facilitate true intimacy, but there are literally millions of marriages that would benefit from more advanced sexual technology.

(The image at the top of the post is of the TESLASUIT, which is available for $13k and doesn’t appear to have any sexual technology.)

Is there anything I missed in my list above that you’d want to do with sexual haptic technology? Leave a comment and let us know.

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Male Sexual Health Episode on Huberman Podcast 8

If you’re a man or married to one you’ll probably benefit from this episode of Andrew Huberman’s podcast about Male Sexual Health. Huberman has Dr. Michael Eisenberg as a guest and they discuss the two primary dimensions of male sexual health: fertility and potency. The episode has lots of great… uh, tips… and ideas for what to discuss with your doctor and how to understand the meaning of various tests and procedures.

If you’re a husband, you have a responsibility to take care of your sexual health, both for your own benefit and for the benefit of your wife.. There are a few negative stereotypes that sometimes work against husbands:

  • Men shouldn’t go to the doctor unless it’s an emergency
  • Erectile dysfunction is shameful and shouldn’t be discussed
  • A decline in male sexual health is an inevitable consequence of aging
  • Fertility is primarily a female problem

It’s important for us husbands to overcome these stereotypes so that we can talk with our wives and doctors about our health and then take action to protect and improve our sexual health. The Bible is clear that a husband has a responsibility to satisfy his wife’s conjugal rights:

1 Corinthians 7:2-5

2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. 3 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

Husbands: we’ve got a job to do, and we have to keep our tools primed and ready!

(Note: We wrote in 2014 that the term “conjugal rights” includes a lot more than only sex, so go read that post for a deeper understanding.)

Podcast Notes has a good summary of the male sexual health episode; here are their key takeaways:

  • Obesity is a risk factor for lowering testosterone and sperm quality
    • Fat aromatizes testosterone into estrogen
  • Testosterone and sperm quality are barometers of health in men
  • Taking exogenous testosterone without medical need can dramatically reduce endogenous testosterone and sperm count & quality
  • Semen quality doesn’t just relate to fertility – it’s an excellent marker for overall men’s health
    • Men with higher semen tend to live longer, go to the doctor less, and have lower rates of cancer
  • Less than 10% of erectile dysfunction is due to a hormonal issue (e.g., low testosterone); most are related to restricted blood flow and could be a foreshadowing of cardiovascular health
    • The first path of treatment (if all else is healthy, not obese, not smoking, etc.) is oral therapy like Viagra or Cialis
  • Don’t assume sperm is healthy just because you ejaculate – about 50% of men have low semen quality
  • To improve sperm quality: avoid heat (sauna, hot tub), don’t smoke, use alcohol in moderation (or avoid it altogether), avoid drugs (especially benzodiazepines and opioids), use marijuana minimally, stay active and at a healthy weight

If reading this post has made you discouraged, don’t be! We don’t have to be perfect, we just have to work towards the best possible version of ourselves. Each of us can take small steps towards improved sexual health, and over time we can maintain and increase our well-being.

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Visual and Mental Attraction 9

The video seems to be targeted at men and the thumbnail says “UNDERWEAR” over the image of a beautiful woman —  so is that visual or mental stimulation?

In A Little Wager we wrote about a bet between me and Sexy Corte, and if I win she has to show me he breasts every time she comes into my office. I look forward to winning the bet and collecting my visual stimulation as payment, but the mere prospect of winning the bet has provided me with months of mental stimulation already.

As for Sexy Corte, my impression is that if she’s not already aroused then she’s most likely to be stimulated through touch.

What about you and your spouse? How are you each most apt to be stimulated?

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Divorce Lawyer James Sexton on the Number One Predictor of a Break-Up 10

Sexy Corte and I just listened to divorce lawyer James Sexton on the Lex Fridman podcast, and he offered a bunch of interesting relationship advice from his perspective as a person who has had a front-row seat to thousands of divorces. (We shouldn’t need to say it, but we will: we don’t endorse all his advice!)

Sexton says that the number one predictor of a break-up is disconnection — when spouses stop trying to impress each other and stop doing the little things that demonstrate their love for each other. He illustrated this idea with a story called “granola and blow jobs” that you can read on his blog.

I was speaking with a female client once, during a long wait in Family Court before a divorce was finalized. I asked her when she knew her marriage was officially over and she told me, in an uncharacteristically nostalgic and melancholy tone, that it was NOT when she caught him texting with his mistress, and NOT when she found the bank records that showed he was gambling his entire bonus rather than bringing it home. It was months before all that when she noticed, for the first time, that he stopped buying her granola.

“There was this particular brand of granola that I like and when we were first dating and married he would always notice when I was running low on it and get me a new bag of it when he would go to Whole Foods for lunch (he worked in the Time Warner Center above the Whole Foods). I never mentioned it to him – I don’t know that I really noticed all that much that he did it – but it was a nice feeling – that he noticed I was low on my favorite granola, and that he knew it was my favorite, and that he was thinking of me while he was in Whole Foods and brought it home for me and didn’t even think to point it out and try to “get credit” for all of that. It was just something he did because he was thinking of me and knew this silly small unique thing gave me pleasure. One day I noticed I was out of that granola and he hadn’t bought it for me. I was a little surprised but I didn’t think much of it. The next time I ran out I left the bag on the counter as a subtle hint – but he never bought it for me again. I think there was a part of me that knew, at that moment, I was no longer on his radar and things were heading south.”

I asked her if there was anything like that on her end of the relationship and she replied flatly:

“Blow jobs.”

I almost spit out my coffee.

“I know it sounds silly and it might be inappropriate to say – but I used to give him blow jobs a few times per week. It took all of five minutes in the morning and for the rest of the day he was all giddy and happy. I got a kick out of how much he enjoyed it. But after some time married I started sleeping in a bit more and I just didn’t think to take that five minutes to do it. Plus I had this feeling of, I don’t know, resentment – like I don’t OWE him a blow job and I’ve got 50 things to do today – he can wait until I get home tonight and we can have sex so both of us enjoy it. But I guess that was his granola in some ways. I don’t know.”

So there it is. Granola and blow jobs.

What are the little things you do for your spouse that demonstrate your love? Don’t forget to consider your love languages (and podcast episode)! If you want your spouse to feel loved you should try to speak in their love language, not only your own. If you want to feel more loved, learn to recognize when your spouse is trying to show you love in their native love language, even if it’s not your own.

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"If good sex is clean water, women live in a swamp and men live in a desert" 11

This quote from a Reddit user was aimed at single men and women, but the metaphor is from the Bible. Proverbs and Song of Solomon both use the imagery of refreshing water to represent the sexual life of a married couple.

Proverbs 5:15-18

Drink water from your own cistern,
running water from your own well.

Should your springs overflow in the streets,
your streams of water in the public squares?

Let them be yours alone,
never to be shared with strangers.

May your fountain be blessed,
and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.

Song of Songs 4:12-15

You are a garden locked up, my sister, my bride;
you are a spring enclosed, a sealed fountain.

Your plants are an orchard of pomegranates
with choice fruits,
with henna and nard,
nard and saffron,
calamus and cinnamon,
with every kind of incense tree,
with myrrh and aloes
and all the finest spices.

You are a garden fountain,
a well of flowing water
streaming down from Lebanon.

The idea behind the quote from Reddit is that women can have as much bad sex as they want (swamp water), and men can’t get any (no water). We can’t speak for single people, but unfortunately this lament isn’t far off from what we hear from many married Christians! In Level-Up Your Sex Life we quoted emails from a bunch of readers who gave two-pronged advice:

If you’re looking to level-up your sex life consider taking these tips from our readers: as many orgasms as the wife wants, and oral sex for the husband.

Every person is different and every marriage is different, but what we hear from our readers most of the time is that Husbands Want Quantity, Wives Want Quality. As Sexy Corte wrote:

Quality is better than quantity. That statement is beneficial in many ways. But what if quantity is the quality? Husbands often view sex through that lens. We get a lot of emails from readers asking about frequency. Men want their wives to have more sex. Women wonder why their husbands want to have sex so much, and often comment that they don’t enjoy it. Here are some thoughts on how to improve the quality and the quantity.

God wants sex with your spouse to be an overflowing fountain of pure, refreshing water! What can you do to bless your spouse with abundant refreshment?

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