Sexy Corte has written about egg vibrators previously, and they’re definitely our most-used sex toys. However, egg vibrators aren’t ideal for every situation! Sometimes the little egg just doesn’t give you enough to hold on to, and in those situations you need to have a wand vibrator handy. There are a lot of different brands, but really only three key features that we’ve come across:

  • Rechargable. Get a model with a built-in rechargeable battery. Plug-in vibrators never run out of power, but the cords just get in the way when you’re using them.
  • Variable power. Every model we’ve seen has a variable power setting, but make sure you don’t buy one without.
  • Standard size head. Check the size of the massaging head and make sure it matches the “standard” size of the Hitachi Magic Wand. Hitachi doesn’t even make the Magic Wand “massager” anymore, but all the vibrator accessories you’ll find will be sized to fit this classic sex toy.

Here are some tips for getting the most out of your wand vibrator.

  • Reach. A wand vibrator can be used in positions that don’t work with an egg, like doggy style. It’s hard for the husband to reach all the way around to keep an egg in place, but with a wand vibrator the wife can hold it in place herself. Any sort of rear penetration position can benefit from the enhanced reach of a wand vibrator.
  • Duration and diffusion. The head of a wand vibrator is a lot larger than an egg vibrator, which can be good or bad. It’s bad if the wife needs focused power on her clitoris to reach orgasm, because the wand vibrator may not be direct enough even if it’s powerful. However, for teasing games or bondage sessions that are intended to last a while, the larger vibration area of the wand head can be less intense and more pleasant.
  • Accessories. There are a ton of accessories for “standard” wand vibrators! Some of them look quite… alien… but there’s certainly no lack of variety to explore.

wand vibrator accessories 1

wand vibrator accessories 2There are even accessories for husbands!

wand vibrator accessories 3

 

So even if you have an egg vibrator, a wand vibrator is a completely different toy and well worth picking up. If you’ve got any questions, tips, or recommendations please leave them in the comments!

For the wives: maybe you want to get your husband worked up all day, or maybe you’re feeling a little shy, but here’s a fun idea for using your panties to send a secret message to your husband.

Basically, the concept is simple – she picks (or randomly chooses) a specific color of panties to wear that day / night when she wants to do something specific. Then she figures out the “menu” and sends it to me via a text or hands me a dirty note. This is my signal that the game is on. It might read:

  • White means slow and gentle
  • Red means go hard and fast, don’t worry about me
  • Blue means lick me til I cum
  • Grey means I want your cum all over my face
  • Green means I want something in my ass but I’m afraid to ask
  • Black means I want to tie you up
  • Polka Dots means use a toy
  • No panties means anything goes
  • Etc. (you can kink up or kink down based on your personal preferences)

Then when we get suitably in the mood, I just pick up on what she’s feeling based on her choice of underwear without ever having to awkwardly discuss how kinky she is feeling that particular night.

You can add a little mystery by getting dressed in the dark, or by making your husband work to catch a glimpse of your panties after sending him the menu.

Welcome to another edition of our link round-up from around the marriage blogosphere!

What message does your sleepwear send? Wives, if you’re cold at night in the winter try some thigh-high socks (and nothing else). And while we’re being nakeder, why not walk around the house naked with your spouse?

“I want to stop sexual gatekeeping, but how?” Along the same lines, is it time to quit trying and start doing? (With a Yoda reference.)

The importance of sexual discipleship. The world is masterful at modeling its version of sexuality to your family.

How can husbands initiate sex without making their wives feel like a piece of meat. You can do better than, “The kids are asleep, let’s bang.”

Sex, sleep, or exercise? And we husbands expect our wives to do all three!

Write a letter to your teenage self. What would you tell your teenage self about sex and marriage?

If you’ve got another link to share, put it in the comments. Find a way to surprise your spouse this evening!

Having frequent sex throughout a woman’s monthly cycle boosts her immune system and increases the chance of conception. No mention of whether men benefit from more sex, but I’m going to guess yes.

The researchers also found that during the follicular phase of the menstrual cycle—the period of time before ovulation—Type 1 T-cell count surged in sexually active. This helps the body safeguard against illnesses and infections that could ultimately inhibit a woman’s chance of becoming pregnant.

The second paper looked at immunoglobulin antibody levels in women who were sexually active and compared them to the levels in those who were not. These antibodies are produced by white blood cells and are critical to fighting off bacteria, viruses and other microbes. The researchers found that sexually active women had higher levels of certain antibodies at different times of their cycle, and the pattern reflected the body’s efforts to ramp up its protective defense to prepare for the potential for pregnancy. The researchers did not observe the same fluctuations in T-cell counts and immunoglobulins in non–sexually active women.

Short version: have more sex if you want to get sick less or are trying to conceive.

Winter is coming, and wives are facing the annual dilemma: how can I sleep warmly and still ensure that my lady bits are available to my husband? Flannel pajamas are warm and comfy, but so frustrating for cuddly husbands! The top isn’t much of a problem if he can sneak his hands up underneath, but the bottoms are total killjoys. What’s a loving wife to do?

Great news! You can keep warm on a cold night and still sleep sexy with thigh-high socks! They’re the perfect compromise for nights when it’s too cold to sleep naked. Throw on a comfy top, some thigh-highs, and nothing else — everyone wins. You’re guaranteed to sleep well and wake up refreshed.

Update:

Commenter Marriagecoach1 points out that women have an easier time reaching orgasm when their feet are warm.

thigh high socks 3

 

Since we posted on the topic of jaw pain during oral sex we’ve received a flood of questions with a similar theme, from both husbands and wives:

  • How do I get my wife to swallow?
  • How do I learn to enjoy swallowing my husband’s semen?

If your sex life with your spouse is otherwise good, the issue with swallowing semen might come down to communication. After El Fury told me how much it meant to him that I would swallow his semen, I figured I at least needed to try it — it’s already in my mouth anyways, so there’s just one more step! It was a little strange the first time I did it, but over time it got a lot easier. Husband, be open and honest with your wife about how important it is to you, and ask if she will at least try it a few times. If your wife has a hard time with it and does it anyway, you would be wise to express how much it means to you. If she gives it an honest effort but still doesn’t want to swallow, you might have to let it go. You don’t want to put so much pressure on her that she becomes reluctant to do oral sex altogether.

Wives: if you want to learn to enjoy it, you have the right intention at heart. My hope is that that desire is all you will need to overcome your difficulty swallowing. But, what are some more practical tips?

My first bit of advice is to at least try it. You might have a mental block simply at the thought of it. I remember how strange it felt the first time El Fury asked me to swallow. After a few times it became familiar and really wasn’t a big deal anymore. I actually thought it was easier than holding it in my mouth and rushing to the bathroom to spit it out right after.

Second, keep in mind that this could be an issue that is near and dear to your husband’s heart, so you really should have an open mind and give it a try.

Third, if you make up your mind to do it, then just do it. Don’t think about it when he ejaculates, just swallow it fast. You should be able to tell right before he comes, so be ready. If you still can’t get past it after a few attempts, your husband should be understanding and at least appreciate that you tried to like it. There are so many fun sexual experiences to have with your spouse that we shouldn’t get hung up on one issue.

Please use the contact pages for Sexy Corte and El Fury to send us your questions. We will only share your question if you give us permission, and we’ll never reveal your name or any other identifying information. You can ask questions anonymously, or use a free anonymous email server like Mailinator.