Ah, spring is in the air!

Why does my husband want to watch me masturbate?

If at first you don’t succeed… ask for sex again. Why? Sex leads to more sex. As we’ve written here before: great sex comes from frequent sex.

Five ways to pray for your husband.

The sexiest thing you can do for your husband — hint: it’s enthusiasm.

The value of friends. Friends that build up your marriage are a treasure.

Bring sex out of the church closet and four lies about sex the church struggles to talk about.

For the dancing and the dreaming — ok, so I mostly linked this because of the corset.

Reload this page to generate random naughty stories based on the roll-all-the-dice naughty story table.

Your naughty story prompts:

Man:Job seeker, Motive: Grateful
Woman:Queen, Motive: Tranquility
Setting:Stuck in an elevator
Sexual mood:Longing
Foreplay:Tickling
Conclusion:End up clothed, oral sex, quiet orgasms

Use these prompts to inspire your role-playing or to create a sexy story for your spouse.

If you need more inspiration, consult the sex adventure generator.

This is a sequel to the Random Sex Adventure Table and also requires some polyhedral dice. If you don’t have the dice, let our website generate a random naughty story for you! (Printable Random Naughty Story Table PDF.)

The purpose of this table is to prompt your imagination. You can use it to create fantasies to play out with your spouse, or follow the prompts to create a sexy story as foreplay. Write the story for your spouse in an email, or whisper it in her ear.

If you have any ideas for items to add to any of the tables please leave them in the comments!

random-naughty-story-table

Nothing says “welcome home!” like a warm embrace from your spouse. Travel can be frantic, and if you have to travel for work it can be a stress on your marriage. Sexy Corte and I are fortunate that we don’t have to travel separately all that often, but when we do the old saying definitely holds true: absence makes the heart grow fonder. Or, as Solomon wrote three thousand years ago:

Proverbs 13:12 — Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.

Whether you’re separated for a long time or just a couple of nights, there are lots of things that the traveler and the spouse at home can do to make the reunion extra special.

  • Sexting. Nothing gets me and SC as excited to see each other as some flirtatious texting. You can be as graphic as you like with your spouse, but we usually focus on words and not images. Telling your wife what you’re going to do to her when you get home, or your husband that you need to feel him inside you is sure to prime the pump.
  • No kids. It really depends on your logistics, but you can really get things going if the kids away or in bed when the traveler gets home. If the traveler is really missing the kids, the one at home can still get them ready for bed so that the traveler can see them before switching the couple time.
  • Food. If the kids are in bed, Sexy Corte and I usually have sex before we make time for eating. But, however you sequence things, having some food ready for your traveler will always be welcome. After the kids go to bed you can have a stay-date to celebrate your reunion and have a grown-up meal, even if the kids had chicken nuggets an hour ago.
  • Grooming. When I’m traveling I usually use the last night of the trip to shave my man bits. It’s somewhat time consuming and doesn’t need to be done very often, and we find that smooth skin makes our homecoming sex all the sweeter. You can read more at the link — husbands, if you haven’t tried it you’re missing out. Both spouses should make an effort to clean and prepare themselves for sex, before the traveler gets home if possible. Airplane travel especially feels gross, so wash your hands and face when you get off the plane and don’t walk in the door like a stinky slob.
  • Naked greeting. I love it when SC greets me naked at the door when I come home. Sometimes she can’t — darn kids! — but it’s extra-special when she does. After several days of sexting and flirting and longing, being greeted at the door by a spouse who’s ready and eager for sex is the best.
  • Bonus. If you make time to have sex right when the traveler gets home then you can do it again before bed. Bonus sex!

Do you have any tips for welcome home sex? Leave a comment!

I was recently in a conversation with other women and we were talking about dating before marriage. One remembered seeking advice from a counselor about how far was “too far” to go before being married. Another laughed and said “it’s funny, before you are married, you always want to push the limit on how far you can go. After you are married you think, I have to do this again?!?!” It was meant to be funny, but in retrospect has made me sort of sad.

Has sex within marriage become a chore? Or merely a duty? Where did the excitement from dating go? Shouldn’t there be more of a spark within marriage because now you can have sex?! What happens?

Honestly, I don’t know. I can only speculate. My guess is that the tiredness of our busy lifestyles makes sex one of the first things we cut out of our hectic schedules. Sexy time with your spouse should be one of your most guarded appointments. You have to guard it, because no one else will. Your boss, kids or house won’t mind in the least if they suck up that extra time from you. Connecting with your spouse, emotionally and sexually, is one of the most important things you can do.

Another thought is that maybe one spouse isn’t feeling loved. If you haven’t read the Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, I suggest you pick up a copy and start speaking to your spouse in their love language. I know I am definitely more responsive sexually when my “love tank” is full.

You and your spouse might also need better communication. If you do or don’t like something, speak up. As much as I think El Fury should be able to read my mind by now, I know that he can’t. This comes easy for some couples and for others it will take boldness. But the more you communicate about sex, the easier it gets. Do a re-cap after sex. Try saying “I really liked it when you…”

Or maybe you need to find a way to change your attitude about sex. Again, this could be easy or extremely difficult for some. No matter what, pray about it. Pray that you can see sex as the beautiful gift that God designed it to be. Pray that you would welcome those touches and caresses from your spouse and instead of thinking “again?” you would think, “YES, again!”.

God gave us sexual needs and spouses to fulfill those needs. One of the beautiful things about marriage is that you no longer have to worry about going “too far”. There are so many ways to enjoy each other. Embrace your time together and go have sex!

Roll a six-sided die twice and consult the tables. Use the “Even” table is your first roll is even, and the “Odd” table if your first roll is odd.

First roll was even:

  1. Our bedroom
  2. Our bathroom
  3. Kitchen
  4. Living room, family room, TV room
  5. Office, computer room
  6. Laundry room

First roll was odd:

  1. A bedroom, not ours
  2. A bathroom, not ours
  3. A hallway
  4. An unfinished part of the house (basement, attic, etc.)
  5. Back yard
  6. Wife’s choice, but not from these lists

A note left on the kitchen counter right before the kids’ bath-time.

April 8, 2015

To: Miss Corte

Please come to my office during office hours this evening around 7:30pm. We need to discuss your midterm exam.

Signed: Professor Fury

 

[You haven’t been doing so well in this class, but you really need to pass! You might have slightly cheated on your midterm… hopefully the professor hasn’t figured it out.]

(For more details, see: Role-Playing: Professor and Student.)

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(Click here to read the whole Sex in Song of Solomon series.)

Song of Solomon, chapter 4. In chapter 3 we spied on the Beloved’s dream on the night before her wedding and we saw her reaction to her Lover’s approach on their wedding day. Chapter 4 opens with the Lover’s admiration of his Beloved’s beauty as he arrives at the wedding. He begins at the top of her body and works his way down…

 Behold, you are beautiful, my love,
    behold, you are beautiful!
Your eyes are doves
    behind your veil.
Your hair is like a flock of goats
    leaping down the slopes of Gilead.
Your teeth are like a flock of shorn ewes
    that have come up from the washing,
all of which bear twins,
    and not one among them has lost its young.
Your lips are like a scarlet thread,
    and your mouth is lovely.
Your cheeks are like halves of a pomegranate
    behind your veil.
Your neck is like the tower of David,
    built in rows of stone;
on it hang a thousand shields,
    all of them shields of warriors.
Your two breasts are like two fawns,
    twins of a gazelle,
    that graze among the lilies.
Until the day breathes
    and the shadows flee,
I will go away to the mountain of myrrh
    and the hill of frankincense.
You are altogether beautiful, my love;
    there is no flaw in you.

The Lover is completely entranced with the beauty of his Beloved! He compliments all the features we men notice in modern times, and he grows more intimate as he moves down her body. Eyes, hair, teeth, lips, neck, breasts… but what’s this about a mountain and a hill? Some commentaries suggest that the mountains in the metaphor refer to the Church, and that the myrrh and frankincense refer to the scented incense that was used in Jewish temple rituals. Maybe! Song of Solomon is a metaphor for Christ’s love for the church, just as the institution of marriage itself is.

But! It’s not that hard to follow the Lover’s progression down his Beloved: head, neck, breasts, and then a heavenly-scented mountain that is perhaps too intimate to name directly. “Until the day breathes and the shadows flee”, the Lover will be caught up in his Beloved’s girly bits. It’s a lovely picture, and in my mind’s eye I can see the Beloved blushing in coy arousal. The intimacy and love described here are beautiful — the Lover is utterly smitten.

You have captivated my heart, my sister, my bride;
    you have captivated my heart with one glance of your eyes,
    with one jewel of your necklace.
10 How beautiful is your love, my sister, my bride!
    How much better is your love than wine,
    and the fragrance of your oils than any spice!
11 Your lips drip nectar, my bride;
    honey and milk are under your tongue;
    the fragrance of your garments is like the fragrance of Lebanon.

The Lover then describes his Beloved as garden of delight.

12 A garden locked is my sister, my bride,
    a spring locked, a fountain sealed.
13 Your shoots are an orchard of pomegranates
    with all choicest fruits,
    henna with nard,
14 nard and saffron, calamus and cinnamon,
    with all trees of frankincense,
myrrh and aloes,
    with all choice spices—
15 a garden fountain, a well of living water,
    and flowing streams from Lebanon.

The garden is locked, the spring is locked, the fountain is sealed. The Beloved belongs to her Lover alone, and the intimacy of their relationship is tightly guarded from outsiders. This intimacy is sexual, but not only sexual. It is their whole relationship, uniquely protected for just the two of them. The Lover ends with an evocative exhortation that is not difficult to interpret:

16 Awake, O north wind,
    and come, O south wind!
Blow upon my garden,
    let its spices flow.

The Lover’s words drip with erotic intimacy, and upon hearing her Lover’s profession of desire the Beloved does what any sensible woman would do:

Let my beloved come to his garden,
    and eat its choicest fruits.

To paraphrase: Come get some.

With Fifty Shades of Grey everywhere you look (including Target, right next to the kids toothbrushes, ew!) there’s a lot of interest in bondage, and a lot of couples are experimenting with stuff they never would have thought of before. However, if you’re like me and have no intention of reading those books or watching the movies, you may be wondering what the big deal is — why would anyone want to be restrained during sex? Well, I know nothing about the BDSM “scene” so I can’t speak very broadly, but I can tell you in one word why Sexy Corte and I periodically enjoy adding some light bondage to our sexy time: vulnerability.

To understand bondage let’s talk first about the goal, then the methods, then why it’s fun. The goal is simple: voluntarily restrain one spouse to enhance his or her vulnerability and submission. It seems most common for the wife to be restrained, but I’ve had Sexy Corte tie me down and tease me and it was lots of fun. Usually though, it’s me restraining her. The purpose of the restraint is to give control of your body to your spouse, not to be painful or uncomfortable. Submitting to bondage is a huge demonstration of trust to your spouse because it puts your naked body into their control and makes you supremely vulnerable. The bondage benefits both the dominant and the submissive spouse by giving the dominant person permission to act, and the submissive person permission to let go. The various toys described below are only used to accent the submission that has already been agreed to.

There are limitless methods of bondage, but they generally share a few common features.

  • Nakedness. The submissive spouse will usually be restrained naked, or at least with her sexy bits exposed. Being naked with your spouse is already a big show of trust, and being restrained kicks it up a notch.
  • Hand restraint. Often the submissive’s hands are restrained to prevent her from “protecting” herself. (I use quotes, because of course nothing should be happening against the submissive’s desires.) Hands can be restrained above the head (for example, tied to the headboard), behind the back, in front (for front-to-back positions), or even attached to the ankles. Hand restraint is probably the most common element of light bondage. Get those hands out of the way!
  • Leg restraint. Legs, ankles, and knees can be restrained to keep the wife’s legs spread or to prevent movement in general. Leg restraint is an important element of position restraint and orgasm control.
  • Head restraint. Head or neck restraint could be uncomfortable or even dangerous. This isn’t something we do.
  • Eye restraint. Covering the submissive’s eyes can add another layer of trust and enhance vulnerability. Using a blindfold can really make extended foreplay exciting.
  • Mouth restraint. Sometimes you just want to hear your spouse moan with pleasure instead of talk. Sometimes talking is distracting. Taking away the option to talk can be liberating for the person who is restrained. Always be sure that anyone whose mouth is covered can breathe freely and can signal a desire to stop.
  • Position restraint. A combination of restraints can be used to hold the submissive spouse in a certain position, say for spanking. This can be critical for orgasm delay and multiple orgasms, which we’ll talk about below.

So what are the actual devices that can be used for bondage play? Almost anything you can imagine can be incorporated, but here are a few ideas. Each of these items probably deserves its own post!

liberator

Wedge pillows. Sexy Corte and I enjoy these a lot for positioning, and they include attachments for…

Hand cuffs. We use some padded strips with velcro for closures and plastic clips that can be attached together or to the wedges. We’ve tried metal cuffs in the past, but they’re quite uncomfortable if you’re laying on them.

under-mattress

Under-the-mattress restraints. Looks complicated, but it’s not. The cuffs can be tucked under the mattress when not in use. These are especially useful if you don’t have a headboard suitable for tying to.

blindfold

Blindfold. If you want to improvise, use a neck tie or panties.

Gags can be similarly improvised, or you can buy one.

swing

Sex swing. We have one that can be quickly hung in a door frame and be used for a ton of positions. It’s easier than it looks.

spreader_bar

Spreader bar. Keeps those legs apart. Can be used in many positions, including standing, but isn’t great for missionary. I made ours with a wooden dowel and some eye screws.

pull-up-bar

Pull-up bar. These can be mounted in a door way and used as a restraint point for securing someone in a standing position. Also great for getting ripped.

an-unassuming-silver-bullet-vibrator-apparently-inspired-some-bawdy-attention-from-a-tsa-agent-who

 

Vibrator. There are many kinds, but we find the egg vibrator to be the most versatile. We buy cheap ones (around $7 from Amazon) and replace them once or twice a year when they wear out. We also keep rechargeable batteries charging in our bedroom. A wand vibrator can also be useful for longer duration games or when you need more reach.

Rope. Check out our intro to shibari for some awesome ideas!

karada

(Let me point out that you don’t actually need any toys! This post is getting long enough, so I won’t go into detail, but look forward to a future post on mental-only bondage.)

Finally, what’s fun about bondage anyway?

  • Intimacy. Like I said at the beginning: the essence of bondage is vulnerability, and vulnerability is the key to intimacy. Bondage will teach you new things about your spouse’s mind and body. Bondage will let you explore new levels of sexual trust. Bondage exposes you to each other in amazing ways.
  • Passion. Let’s face it: there can be something hot about dominating your spouse or submitting to his or her will. Maybe your sex is normally gentle and loving, and bondage lets you get a little rougher and more physically intense.
  • Foreplay. Bondage requires time to execute, and all that time can be used as foreplay focused on the spouse being bound.
  • Orgasm delay. Also known as teasing or edging. When the submissive spouse is free to move she can position her body just the right way to reach orgasm, and bondage can take away that ability and give control to the dominant spouse. It can be extremely difficult for a person to willingly back off from an orgasm when it’s close, but when using bondage the dominant spouse can pull back and keep the submissive spouse right on the edge without going over. This can make the orgasm incredibly powerful when it eventually comes.
  • Multiple orgasms. After a woman orgasms her clitoris may become intensely sensitive, such that further stimulation is uncomfortable. If her hands and legs are free she may push the stimulation away for relief. However, if she is bound such that she can’t “protect” her clitoris her husband can continue with the stimulation and bring her to multiple orgasms. Sexy Corte describes these as an unending plateau of orgasm, rather than the peak and descent of the normal experience. They’re also quite exhausting, so this probably isn’t something you’ll do every day. As a husband, giving my wife multiple orgasms is one of my absolute favorite things.
  • Fantasy. Bondage can be used as an element of fantasy or role-playing. It feels naughty, and once you’re in the naughty mindset you can free yourself to try some things that you normally wouldn’t. He’s the villain and she’s the kidnapped princess? She’s the super-spy and he’s the captured rogue agent who knows where the bomb is hidden?
  • Exploration. Sometimes it’s hard to ask for our sexual desires, even when the marriage has good communication. Bondage can be an avenue for exploring desires that are difficult to speak out loud but perhaps easier to request non-verbally while in the moment. New experiences can break old habits, and you’re already feeling naughty, right?
  • Escapism. Maybe it’s a minor form of dissociation, but bondage be a form of escapism from everyday life into a secret world of sex with your spouse.
  • Novelty. Bondage introduces a myriad of new sexual options, new ways to play, new positions, new toys, and maybe even new desires.

In the end bondage should be fun and promote intimacy and vulnerability in your marriage. As always, enthusiasm and responsiveness will ensure that you get the most from your sexual experience.

Let us know what you think in the comments! What are you experiences? Do you have any suggestions to add?