It strikes me that people may be reluctant to leave comments on a sex blog if they have to register or use a name and email address. Because we love hearing from our readers, we’ve enabled anonymous comments in an effort to foster more discussion. We’ll see how it works!
Month: March 2015
Spring is in the air!
When he wants you to initiate. It feels great to be wanted by your spouse! And no… there’s nothing unbiblical about the wife initiating.
Making love when you have teens in the home. Kids should go outside to play more.
What effect does premarital sex have on marriage? Survey results analysis.
Give him a hand (job) survey results. Some suggestions for assisting a high-drive husband.
Some sex topics can be awkward to bring up even if you and your spouse have great communication, especially when it comes to secret fantasies that may not be entirely mainstream. You may be afraid that your spouse will do more than say no — you may fear that he’ll judge you or even be disgusted. Hopefully your spouse is more open to hearing about your sexual desires, but the nervousness can be real nonetheless.
To open the lines of communication with a little less anxiety you might want to try taking one of these sex questionnaires with your spouse. There are probably many more options online, but these two will get you started. In both cases the questions are answered anonymously and the sites do not require registration. What’s more, the sites only share answers between spouses when both husband and wife indicate a positive response to a given activity. If you say “yes” to something but your spouse says “no” then your “yes” won’t be revealed.
In the best case, you and your spouse will discover an activity that you both have been dying to try but have been too afraid to bring up!
One huge caveat: these questionnaires contain short descriptions of activities that no Christian should participate in. If you don’t want to be exposed to such ideas then you should not take the tests.
Everyone loves to be spontaneous when it comes to sex, and many couples feel that a lot of planning or scheduling can ruin the mood. However, a little advance preparation can grease the wheels (insert lubrication joke here) for future spontaneity. One of the biggest deterrents to spontaneous away-from-the-bedroom sex can be worrying about the aftermath: sex is messy! So here’s a simple tip: take an old wash cloth with you wherever you go. It’s easy to stash a washcloth in the glove box of your car, in your backpack, in your purse, or in your briefcase. You’ll be ready for spontaneous sex whenever you’ve got 10 minutes to kill alone with your spouse and you won’t have to worry about cleaning up.
Even for the bedroom Sexy Corte and I keep a drawer full of old wash cloths right next to the bed. We call them our “sex rags” — not a very sexy name, but very handy for after sex that isn’t near shower time.
Shower sex can be great for getting in a quickie while visiting the in-laws and jacuzzis are luxurious for love-making marathons, but the first time you try to have sex in the water you’re liable to notice something rather inconvenient: the water washes away the wife’s natural lubricant. Even though you’re both turned on and ready to go, underwater penetration can be challenging and uncomfortable. So you hop out of the water and grab your lube — problem solved? Maybe not. The most common sex lubes are water-based, which means they will quickly disperse in the water just like her natural juices.
What’s a horny couple to do? If you’re going to go to all the trouble to arrange a romantic aquatic interlude don’t forget one important ingredient: silicone lube! Sexy Corte and I have had great experiences with a brand called Gun Oil (easy to buy online), but there are numerous options available.
Silicone lube isn’t just for playing in the water — it has a few general advantages over water-based lube.
- Lasts a long time. You can have sex forever without the lube drying up.
- Less irritating. Silicone lube isn’t easily absorbed into the skin, so it tends to be less of an irritant to sensitive skin.
- Very slick. For when you need as much slipperiness as possible.
There are a few disadvantages as well.
- Destroys silicone toys. Do not use silicone lube with silicone sex toys. It will destroy them. Silicone is a very common material for sex toys, so be very careful not to combine them.
- Hard to clean. I wouldn’t use it in bed; it’s hard to get off sheets.
- Tastes bad. Not toxic (check your brand), but not great for oral sex.
Silicone lube: another toy for your sexual toy box. Tell us your experience and let us know if we missed an important use!
I’m not sure why socks have been on my mind recently, but I just read about what sounds like a pretty fun game you can play with your spouse: sock wrestling. The rules are pretty simple:
- You both wear nothing but one sock on each foot.
- Whoever pulls their spouse’s socks off first wins.
Playing on the bed seems obvious, but playing in public would be pretty fun even if you’re otherwise fully clothed. Next time your at your friends’ house and they ask you to leave your shoes at the door, you’ve got the perfect opportunity for a surreptitious game… no one has to know what the reward is for the winner when you get home!
Now if only I can figure out a way to make oil wrestling work without making a huge mess.