Some of the links we’ve most enjoyed over the past week:

Delight Your Marriage has started a podcast; try this one: “How Being Happy Saved Her Marriage” (via HHH).

Why Men Avoid Counselling — I think some men may connect better with a female counselor; the biggest hesitation is that a man might feel like he’s walking into an ambush.

Toss Your Score Card, Liver Generously — good policy for all areas of life.

What If Gatekeepers Are Victims? — as a father with daughters, it’s hard to deliver just the right message: you should vigilantly abstain while you are single, and then do it like bunnies when you get married.

What If the Batteries Died? A Sex Toy Story — don’t let toys dominate your intimacy with your spouse. Also, keep spare batteries handy.

3 Simple Ways to Create a More Intimate Bedroom – we wrote about this in our two-part series about making your master bedroom your sex room.

The Fantasy Box — Looks fun, especially if it’s a different experience every month. Hey, where’s our free review copy?

The Happy Couple’s Guide To Marriage (And Sex) After A Baby

Lately I have been hearing from more and more women a consistent desire that is burning in their hearts. They want and need their husbands to step up and be a spiritual leader to their family. They are weary of bearing the burden of leadership that they were not created to bear. We live in a time that feminism and equal roles are common themes in our households. But this is not what God has intended.

God has blessed us with a lot of scripture to help us fulfill our roles as husbands and wives. My favorite is Ephesians 5:22-33.

22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Scripture makes it very clear — God designed the husband to be the leader of the family. As most Christians learn, when God sets up a model of which to live by, it’s because that is the best possible way. It’s what will bring Him glory, how we will be happiest, and how our lives will function properly. Husbands, you are the leaders. Your wife is to be your helper, your counselor. Lead your wife lovingly and she will happily follow.

So wives, what do you do if your husband is not being the leader you need him to be?

1. Pray. Pray that God would convict him and guide him.

2. Equip him. We are the helpers, the supporters. Start by asking him to make the decisions, and then follow through with the decision he does make. You can also give him the tools and the encouragement he needs to be a good leader. Find a devotional the two of you can do together or with your family. Ask him to lead prayer at meals or bedtimes with the kids.

3. Encourage him. If he does step up and lead, it is probably out of his comfort zone to do so. If your first response is criticism, it will probably make him shut down. Encouragement will build up his confidence to continue leading. Keep in mind his style of leading might look very different from how you would lead. This is where you need to submit and surrender to his leadership.

4. Praise God. God deserves all the praise and glory. I think especially for women, it is easy to put our hope and faith in our husbands. But putting our hope in anything other than God will bring disappointment every time.

5. Don’t get discouraged. Leadership is a learned skill. He’s not going to turn into the leader you dream for your family overnight, and he might not fully step up at once. If he steps up, then falls back into letting you lead, keep praying and keep encouraging him.

Reload this page to generate another random sex adventure.

Your random sex adventure:

Mood:Mystery
Foreplay:Kissing
Facing:Face to face, wife's legs spread
Wife's position:Laying on back
Husband's position:Sitting
Special feature:Pillow

I previously posted a roll-all-the-dice table for creating random sex adventures with your spouse, but it has come to my attention that not everyone has the geek dice required to make use of the table. So, as a public service, this page will roll the dice for you and generate a random sex adventure! Each time you reload this page you will get a different result. Enjoy!

For more randomly generated fun, check out the naughty story generator.

 

Update: Don’t have the dice? Let our website generate a random sex adventure for you!

If you’ve ever played a role-playing game like Dungeons and Dragons then you probably have a bunch of polyhedral dice like the ones in the picture: four-sided, six-sided, eight-sided, ten-sided, twelve-sided, and twenty-sided. However, unless you’re old-school you may never before have seen what’s called a roll-all-the-dice table. The idea is pretty simple: you roll all the dice and consult the results on a giant table. (If you don’t have a set of dice like this, you can pick up a set of polyhedral dice on Amazon for only few bucks.)

So, here’s a roll-all-the-dice table to create a random sex adventure for you and your spouse! (Printable Random Sex Adventure Table PDF.)

random-sex-adventure-table

The answer to this question (at least sometimes) should be naked! Sleeping naked is very sexy. Not only does your skin feel amazing right up against your spouse’s, but feeling nice and silky sheets as you sleep is an added bonus. If your spouse is always wanting sex in the morning, but you have a hard time rousing yourself for it, sleeping naked is an excellent way to get yourself in the mood. Those last lucid dreams can turn very erotic, especially if you are naked snuggling. You are sure to wake up with a voracious sexual appetite!

I know depending on where you live that the cold winter months might not make sleeping naked sound very enticing. But, it only takes a few minutes to warm up underneath the sheets, and it is definitely worth that little time of discomfort. Plus it gives you a good excuse to snuggle up close to your spouse until you are warm. Sometimes if I get up in the middle of the night I like to crawl back in bed naked so that El Fury gets a surprise in the morning. He definitely wakes up faster! Especially with Valentine’s Day coming up, why not give your spouse a sexy surprise that morning?

“Short” and “cold” aren’t the sexiest adjectives, but February can still be steamy!

Commenters share their favorite dates Valentine’s Day dates with their husbands.

A series on wifely orgasms — an ever-important topic for sex bloggers, to be sure.

Valentine’s ideas: gifts for husbands, gifts for wives. Sexy Corte and I aren’t much for gift giving; not our love language I guess. For gifts, we mostly create opportunities to spend time together.

Don’t badmouth your spouse to your friends. It’s sad that this needs to be said, but it’s very valuable advice.

Sexual fantasy survey results.

Burn more calories while having sex. It’s win-win-win!

Be more adventurous in bed. Yes, the top 10 ways!

Alright husbands, let’s talk about basic fitness. Did you let yourself blimp up after you got married? Shame on you! Or, like me, have you always struggled to be a little more fit? I’m blessed that Sexy Corte and I love to run, and we’ve managed to keep in the habit of running several times a week together (even pushing a ton of kids in strollers). Running or some some form of aerobic exercise is great, and I highly recommend it; it’s even better if you can do it with your spouse and kids. Aerobic exercise is great for everyone, so go do it.

(For other posts with advice for husbands, check out Husbandly Hygiene and Basic Male Fashion.)

However, in this post I want to talk about lifting weights. Women can lift and enjoy the benefits of stronger bones and muscles, but weight-bearing exercise is essential for men’s health. I’m by no means an expert on lifting, but I can share with you some basics: and basics are the key. All the new-fangled stuff is basically junk: P90X, CrossFit, “core strengthening”, “boot camps”, etc. It’s not that these are bad, but they over-complicate things. You don’t need an expensive gym membership either.

What do you need?

  1. Starting Strength, by Mark Rippetoe
  2. Barbells, dumbbells, weight bench, weight plates. Used sets can often be found cheaply on Craigslist. Put them in any open 50 square feet of your house.
  3. 20 minutes per day, a few times per week. You won’t get ripped with this minimal schedule, but you’ll get a lot stronger.

ripped-for-her-pleasure

I recommend the book, but you can get the high-level ideas from here. You can easily use the internet to find articles by Mark Rippetoe and diagrams that illustrate how to properly perform the lifts he prescribes. (So you have some homework.)

Like I said up top, aerobic exercise is great, but men need to big and strong. If you follow some of this simple advice it won’t take long for your wife to notice and admire your muscles. You don’t need to be Adonis, you just want to improve yourself. If you aren’t lifting at all now you’ll see rapid strength gain when you start, which is great for your confidence. Of course your progress will plateau and improvement will get harder over time (like anything), but there’s a ton of low-hanging fruit that even a lazy man can grasp.

What does lifting have to do with sex? If you can’t figure out how size, strength, endurance, confidence, energy, and appearance will improve your sex life then I don’t think I can help you.